Betrayal
by smartkid37
Summary: The people we trust the most oftentimes are the ones who hurt us the deepest. A startling revelation involving members of the team comes to light and some of them struggle to survive the aftershocks. Rated M for sex in 1 chapter. Established Tibbs
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Co-written with Shelbylou_

_This pairing is a first for me. Your patience and lattitude would be greatly appreciated._

Now, on to our story!

* * *

If he'd been asked to describe the week he'd just experienced, Tim McGee would have to describe it as harrowing and rougher than usual. In fact, he hadn't had a week this bad since his first year on the job some six years ago, when he'd still been a very green newbie; A.K.A. – Tony's Probie. From first thing Monday morning until now, almost eight Friday night, the days had really beaten him down. Every hour seemed to torment him that little bit. Not only had there been no fresh case, but Tony had been goofing off all week while they were stuck sloughing through cold cases. Sure, it was typical for the Senior Field Agent because that was always the mood he was in, but this week he had gotten away with it while snarking at Tim every chance he got for no reason whatsoever. Tony himself had admitted to that at least twice in the last four days alone.

And to top off the already stressful environment of boredom and staleness that working cold cases caused after a prolonged period created, had Gibbs' in a constant ill temper. Apparently it had been cultivated by the very same trigger of monotony. The boss had been more irritable and snappy these last five days than he'd been in a very long time, barking orders all day long. Most of the time they were at Tim, leaving the youngest member of the team feeling as though he had grown some sort of target on his forehead that the former sniper couldn't possibly miss.

To make matters worse, every time Gibbs barked at Tim, Tony grinned like a Cheshire cat, almost as if this was some kind of game to him. Needless to say, Tim's blood had started boiling on about Wednesday afternoon and was now at the point of nearly exploding, putting him in a place where he was in no mood for anything else from either of them. He'd done his job all week from start to finish, kept his nose to the cold cases he'd been assigned and spent no time whatsoever goofing around. Heck, he'd barely taken the time to eat anything with Gibbs literally breathing down his neck. On second thought; this week had been worse than any on his first two years on this team because there was no rhyme or reason for it.

While weeks similar to this were nothing new after all these years on the MCRT, the lack of a genuine reason for Gibbs' bad mood was fairly uncommon. His barking at Tim for no apparent reason, even more so. Tim didn't know what he'd done to set the man off, but he was glad the work week was almost over. If he had to spend another hour watching Tony grin at the boss like they were in cahoots over something while Gibbs took his mood out on Tim, the younger man seriously believed he'd need to go hit the punching bag at the gym. With a sigh of tired frustration, he packed up his work station, intent on heading out for the weekend they thankfully had off.

The building was nearly empty, with only Gibbs' team left as the very thin late night crew shuffled in and disappeared to their perspective work areas on different floors. Tim set his back pack down, glanced over at Ziva's already empty desk and smiled. He was glad she was on vacation for the week, even if that was the reason Tony had been so full of himself and so full of ways to dole the crap out to Tim all week. It had been a relatively easy five days in regard to the workload and she'd earned the rest. Picking up his coffee cup, he headed to the break room, suddenly desperate for the caffeine boost for the ride home.

****NCIS****

Tony grinned as he stood with his back pinned to the wall, his arms held over his head by the iron grip, in hands roughened by life, yet softened with tenderness, currently holding him hostage, his mouth being met and captured in a soul searing kiss that stole his breath away. Finally, needing to breathe, he ripped his mouth away with sheer brute force, his head hitting the wall with a thud, his breathing harsh and unsteady. "God, Gibbs! This my reward for keeping you entertained by giving Probie hell all week?"

"Keeping me entertained? Or yourself?" Gibbs smirked as he tweaked Tony's nipples almost painfully while teasing his mouth with nibbles and nips.

"Ow! Yeah, you know, while you've been bored out of your mind with cold cases while Ziva's been gone time all week?"

"Hmm." Gibbs murmured. "That's what you were doin'. I thought you were just baiting McGee like you always do. That's why I didn't say anything." His mouth found Tony's again, plundering it fast and hard, taking no prisoner as his hands roved, tweaked and twisted the younger man's skin in places he knew would evoke sensitive reaction.

Tony pulled away, desperate for air. "You keep this up and I'm gonna cum right here!" he moaned as his eyes closed in a moment of sheer pleasure

"That right?" Gibbs growled seductively as he ghosted his hand down Tony's groin. "Just because we're alone, doesn't mean you get to cum. What I tell you when we first coupled up, Anthony?"

"God, You know how it turns me on when you say my name like that!" The Italian moaned. "Say it again, please."

"Not until you answer the question." The older man replied sternly.

"Gibbs that was three months ago! You think I remember, AAGGH!" Tony's words morphed into a loud exclamation as Gibbs hand squeezed him, already aching and hard; through his now uncomfortably tight pants, causing the younger man to squirm in order to gain the friction he now needed desperately. His eyes snapped open and speared the older man with a glare.

"You lookin' for some punishment, Tony?" Gibbs smirked as his hand slid up the younger man's body to his nipple and pinched it harshly.

"OW! Oh, God, Gibbs!" Tony yelped as some of his ardor cooled quickly and his eyes closed again, this time in discomfort.

"Tell me how much you've forgotten?" The older man ordered sternly.

"Nothing. I'm sorry, I fibbed." Tony whined as his nipples suffered in turn through the light mistreatment.

"Is that right?" Came the gravelly voice that always sent a shiver of pure lust through the younger man. Gibbs smirked again as he slid his free hand back down Tony's body and once again applied squeezing pressure to the younger man's groin; this time framing the rapidly swelling member and gently massaging it before letting it go to slide the zipper down on the slacks currently in the way of skin to skin contact even as Tony's eyes remained glued to his, their mutual rising lust fueling each other's fire.

"Ooh, Gibbs." Tony moaned in rising ecstasy as his head began moving from side to side in restlessness.

Hearing the zipper being undone quickened Tony's breathing and set the adrenaline racing though his veins; his vision beginning to blur with the erotic feel to this moment, causing the younger man's eyes to slide closed with pleasure once more. Breathing heavy, Tony fought to think straight as Gibbs shifted against him in order to attack the younger man's neck, nipping and sucking at the juncture of his shoulder while his one hand continued to hold Tony's arms over his head and his other hand began to reach inside younger man's pants.

As his lover's hand wrapped itself around his engorged throbbing muscle, the younger man panted, "Ooh! Good...Ah! Thing…Gibbs! everyb'y's ….gone …ooh! Gonna cum! GIBBS!" Tony's eyes snapped open with the need to ground himself in Gibbs' cobalt blue oceans of lust and need while he fought the onslaught of his surging release.

"That's it. Cum for me, Tony." Gibbs ordered in that same tone, this time giving his lover permission to let go before returning to suck and nibble on Tony's neck.

"NNGGGHHH!" Tony cried out as he spilled forth his release, at the same time his eyes caught a blur of movement that told him he and his lover weren't alone after all.

"Oh, CRAP!" The Senior Field Agent's quiet words were filled with genuine regret as his eyes remained frozen in place over the Team Leader's shoulder.

Turning his head, Gibbs felt his heart drop.

_McGee!_


	2. Chapter 2

Tim felt his whole body grow numb, all feeling whooshing out in a rush so intense it nearly brought him to his knees. Only the deep need to hold onto his dignity as this betrayal leeched itself down into his soul and flooded his brain with exactly what this meant, kept him frozen in place so long that he'd been seen. The last thing he'd ever expected to see when he'd come to the break room was Tony and the boss making out or hear that Tony thought he was being rewarded for giving Tim hell all week.

It was hard to say what sent Tim into shock more; seeing his boss engaging Tony in serious extra-curricular touching and actually getting his Senior Field Agent off. Hearing that they'd obviously been in cahoots to deliberately treat Tim like crap all week or hearing them just verbally admit they've been together like this for three months. Either way, Tim's mind was blown; his trust shattered and his anger rapidly heating up enough that the numbness was beginning to wear off. The look of sheer ecstasy on Tony's face was now seared into Tim's brain, as was the image of Gibbs salt and pepper covered head, attached to the Senior Field Agent's neck as his life depended on it at the same time.

Having the unpleasant occurrence of accidentally locking eyes with Tony while the older man was in the throes of passion as he spilled his release from being seductively groped and physically pleasured by the boss, almost made Tim sick to his stomach and it was all he could do to keep from moving his eyes to those of his boss as Gibbs turned his head to see what Tony was looking at. Not wanting to be their scapegoat for another minute, Tim turned and walked away, noting with relief that neither of them called out for him to stop or attempted to follow him. _He needed to get the hell away from here and now!_

*****NCIS*****

Tony slumped back against the wall, his heart down in his shoes and his previously spasming swollen member now lax and forgotten as his thoughts ran away in a myrid of directions._ Damn, this was never supposed to happen. Probie was never supposed to have found out and definitely not like this! Oh, hell! The shit's gonna hit the fan now. Crap! Think, DiNozzo! First thing we have to do is make sure this stays wrapped up tight. Gotta talk to Probie; get him to promise to keep quiet!_ "God, Gibbs." He muttered as Gibbs stepped back and snagged some paper towels from the dispenser and got them wet before handing Tony a couple of them while he washed his own hands and set his clothing to rights.

Having done that, he took a long drink of his coffee before setting the cup down and grabbing onto the counter with both hands, his head hanging down as he remained silently thoughtful. Finally, as if he'd reached an impasse with himself, he drew himself back upright and blew out a sight, running a hand nervously through his hair while he mentally tried to pull himself together; the look on his youngest agent's face forever imbedding itself in his memory. It was a look he never wanted to see and it made him sick to his stomach to know that he'd put it there. He closed his eyes in anquish.

"What? What are you thinkin?" Tony asked quietly, now that he'd cleaned himself up and tossed away the soiled paper towels and fixed his clothes. Watching Gibbs obviously struggle with this recent development was scaring Tony and it was a feeling the younger man wasn't adept at handling.

The older man opened his eyes and speared Tony with his saddened expression as he answered him. "Gotta talk to him."

"Yeah. I know. We need to make sure he's not gonna say anything." Tony offered.

Gibbs looked at his lover incredulously. Slowly the anger began to heat up as it rose up in him. "That's what you're worried about right now?"

"What? Why wouldn't I be?" Tony asked in confusion.

"Thought you knew him better than that? Even I know he won't say anything to anyone. He'll take it to his grave if he has to. Kinda think it's more important that he know we didn't do this to hurt him, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, Gibbs, of course I do, but at the same time…"

"Unbelieveable." Gibbs muttered as he turned away from Tony and walked over to the counter to refresh his coffee. Turning back around, he was only slightly surprised to find Tony no longer standing there.

Heading back to his desk, he found Tony sitting at his desk, staring forlornly at his closed cell phone in his hand. "He's not answering. Matter of fact, he turned it off."

"Not surprised. You comin'?" Gibbs replied as he quickly closed down his work station, geared up and headed toward the elevator.

"I'll walk out with ya but If we find him, it's a pretty safe bet the last thing he's gonna want is to talk to both of us together." Tony admitted.

"Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs!" Abby's ever exuberant voice reached him from the back edge of the squad room as she came bounding into their work area.

"Abbs? What are you still doing here?" Tony asked in surprise as he and the boss stopped and turned to wait for her to catch up to them.

"Thought you left hours ago?" Gibbs added in shock as he mentally hoped she hadn't run into Tim as he was leaving in the state he'd been in. She'd have mountains of questions and none he wanted to answer right now.

"Oh, I did. But then I realized I forgot my concert tickets here in my desk so I had to come back for them." She replied nonchalantly as she linked her arms through each of theirs. "Thought since you were still here, we could walk out together."

"Sure, Abbs. You gonna be careful at this concert tonight, right?" Tony's big brother mode kicked in. "Not goin' alone are you?"

"I can always count on you to look out for me, huh, Tony?" She smiled as she leaned into him as a sort of hugging gesture. "Thanks, bro, but I am playing it safe; I always do. A couple of married friends of mine and I are going. They don't mind me being the fifth wheel and for the price of getting to go see this band, I don't mind either."

"Ha! So much for that talk we had with Kate about married men and single women and just being friends, right?" Tony smirked as the three of them rode the elevator down together.

"C'mon, Tony, you know this is totally different." Abby protested in all seriousness.

"Just checkin', darlin'. Just checkin'." Tony drawled as he pulled her into a one-armed hug and gently squeezed.

"I know. But, you can't trip me up. I'm smarter than that. Besides, I never get involved with a married man. I have learned something from you, ya know." Now it was Abby's turn to smirk as she signed herself out and walked out with them.

Gibbs smirked at Tony's mock look of hurt. "Ouch!"

"Touche', Tony." Abby laughed as she leaned into his shoulder affectionately while they walked the rest of the way to the lot in companionable silence.

Having reached her car, they stopped walking while Abby unlocked her car door. Leaning in to his personal space, Abby kissed Tony on the cheek. "Thank you." Turning her attention to the boss who'd been silent until know, she leaned in and kissed him. "And thank you." As she opened her car door and started to get in, she stopped and turned to look at both of them. "By the way: either of you know what Timmy was so upset about? I saw him leave as I drove in and he was so upset, I don't even think he saw me waving at him. He looked so devastated, I'm half-tempted to say forget about the concert and go check on him."

Without looking at each other, both men answered her almost instantly.

"No, Abbs. We'll take care of it."

"But, Timmy's…"

"Not gonna be happy if you give up your plans on his account, Abby. You know he'd be even more upset about that. You go on and go out with your friends."

Abby looked at Tony skeptically. "You're gonna check on him? Tony you've been treating him like crap all week since you've been bored without Ziva here to keep you straight You really think he's gonna talk to you about what's bothering him?"

"He go cryin' to you , did he?" Tony sniped sarcastically.

Abby slugged him in the arm, "No, Tony! He's not like that and you should know that about him by now! HE didn't have to! Turning her angry eyes onto her surrogate father, she glared with even more anger. "You two didn't care how many people witnessed how you treated him! Trust me, word gets around fast!"

Not giving Tony a chance to make things worse, Gibbs stepped up. Putting his comforting hand on Abby's shoulder, he leaned in and kissed her on the check. "I got this. Relax. Go have fun. I'll go talk to McGee."

Now Abby was really uncertain. "But, Gibbs! You and Timmy NEVER talk about anything and you've been really horrible to him all week too! It's like the two of you were in some kind of hatched plan to be extra mean to him while Ziva was gone or something. How can you expect him to want to talk to you about anything personal now?"

"Abby! Go! I promise, we'll handle this." Gibbs practically growled at her in growing frustration.

"You'd better! You better remember Timmy's got feelings, too!" Abby declared as she ducked into her car and closed the door. Putting on her seatbelt, she started her car and drove out, leaving the two equally frustrated and worried men behind.

"Great! Just great!" Tony muttered with self-inflicted mockery. "Still think we need to track him down tonight?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, Tony. I do. We'll take separate vehicles. Keep me updated."

"Likewise." Tony requested as he gave voice to the biggest worry on his mind at that moment. "What the hell do we even say to him?"

"Nuthin'." Gibbs replied calmly but with a shade of authority.

"I'm not followin' you, Boss."

"If you find him, call me. Don't try talkin' to him without me."

"Yeah, Abby's right. He probably doesn't wanna talk to me anyway." The younger man muttered.

Gibbs stopped walking. "Anthony." He kept his voice soft.

Tony stopped next to him. "Gibbs?" The younger man's tone had quietened to the husky expectant one the use of his full given name always brought out in him.

"This isn't your fault. Stop beating yourself up over it and let's just concentrate on making sure he's okay, hmm?" Trying to calm the younger man's anquish, Gibbs reached out and stroked his hair around his ear as he spoke. "Don't stay out lookin' for him all night. Want you to get some sleep."

Leaning into the touch he had months ago come to depend on to get him through the rough times, Tony nodded in silent agreement and was rewarded with a gentle kiss from his lover before they broke apart and each got in their own car and headed out, both of them having just one thought on their minds.

_I hope McGee's alright._


	3. Chapter 3

Tim dropped his overnight bag onto the floor and flopped down on the hotel bed. With a sigh, he stuffed one pillow under his head and snatched one to hold onto before curling up into a ball, his mind racing in a thousand different directions now that could stop for the night. He'd safely driven himself home to pack a bag and then here to this place, checking in using a fake name and cash to pay in advance for the room. The last thing he wanted was to be found tonight by anyone and all he wanted was the solace and peace that would help him sort through his troubled mind. Heck, he'd even made sure the hotel had an underground parking garage so his car wouldn't be seen from the road.

Now here it was nearly ten and his brain was a hive of activity meaning he was far too awake for sleep to drag him down into oblivion. All he could think about was all the times Tony had mocked him for _supposedly_ being gay and for never being successful with the ladies while Tony always had too much luck with them. Hell, the older man even had the audacity to spread the rumor at work with the ladies that Tim was gay back when Kate was still with them. If that wasn't bad enough, he'd dug into Tim's private life and lectured him on how Tim was presenting the bad image of coming across as homosexual. _What a hypocrite! _

Gibbs had even joined the bandwagon on that little 'make fun of Tim' episode with his '_just admiring your feminine glow'_ remark in front of Tony and Ziva. Then there had been his 'you're tryin' too hard' comment, which Tim now had to wonder if it had too hadn't been more of a derogatory statement than he'd taken it for. He'd been beyond grateful that the boss had said nothing further on the subject- ever. Then again, Tony had more than made up for it by dogging Tim for anything to do with his sex life or lack of dating over the years – repeatedly.

Still, this felt so much like a knife to his soul because the boss never had two words to say to Tim that wasn't job related and hardly ever had anything positive or nice to say when he did speak to him. Gibbs always rode Tim the hardest and with the coldest shoulder when it came to work and was never satisfied about anything Tim did for the job; no matter how hard Tim worked or how many hours he gave up of his own time to get the job done – beyond the long hours Gibbs expected from them. The kicker was that the reasoning for the man's attitude towards Tim made sense now. In fact, come to think of it, he remembered hearing that Tony 'did his best work at night' on more than one occasion and each time it was with a hint of pride. _What about him? Didn't all the extra hours he put in matter?_

_The fact that it made sense is what made it so wrong! How could they betray his trust in them like this? All this time he'd trusted them to be straightforward, fair and honest; well Gibbs at least. Tim also trusted them to always have his back just as much as they had each other's. How does spending years mocking Tim for supposedly being gay – when Tony and Gibbs themselves were – amount to trust or even a sense of all around fairness? Any way you slice it – it doesn't!_

Suddenly, the full scope of Gibbs' long-time favoritism of Tony and letting him get away with every stunt and every episode of unfairness and torment, hit the young man like a tidal wave. He felt the full spectrum of that trust he'd placed on Gibbs and even on the 'pain in the behind' Senior Field Agent, ebb away like the ebbing of that tide leaving Tim feeling empty and vulnerable having been carelessly cast adrift in its' receding waters. He felt literally sick to his stomach and stumbled out of bed, only barely making it to the bathroom before losing the meager contents of his stomach.

After washing his mouth out and brushing his teeth, Tim was left feeling cold and laid bare. Burrowing back underneath the covers of the bed, he curled up once more with the pillows situated in the same way. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to stop his mind from continuing its onslaught of angry thoughts on the subject. In fact, even they had turned traitor and were determined to keep him awake for the night.

To know now that he'd been treated so unfairly all this time because this was going on between those two cut so very deep. It was betrayal of the harshest kind and he wasn't sure he could forgive that. As he lay there in the alien hotel room, letting his mind replay the sights and sounds of the act he had witnessed, he felt as though his heart was actually bleeding and tears of anger at such deep betrayal filled his eyes and began to trickle down his face. It was then, and only then that sleep finally swooped in and took him away to the darkest recesses of his mind by way of dreams.

*****NCIS*****

"Gibbs, it's almost one in the morning and we haven't found him anywhere." Tony whined as they met up at the man's house some four hours of fruitless searching later.

The older man took one look at his exhausted lover and pulled him in for a reassuring embrace. "I know, Tony. He obviously doesn't wanna be found tonight. C'mon, let's get some sleep."

"Thought you wanted to make sure he was alright." Tony asked from where his head was resting on Gibbs' shoulder.

"I do. Can't do that if we can't find him." Gibbs replied softly. It was ridiculous. They were here comforting each other while Tim flew directly under the radar, eluding them all and breaking one of the most sacred rules _'Never be unreachable'…_Huh, the rules. Isn't that one of the main issues right now? Rule 12 had been broken. Sadly, Gibbs would have to say that if he didn't know any better, that look on Tim's face last night flashed loud and clear that the long standing trust that his youngest agent had in him had been broken too

"You gonna just let him break your rule like this?" Tony's question pulled the older man's attention back to him.

"You mean one of the same rules you've broken just for the hell of it?" Gibbs pulled back to look into Tony's eyes. "I think he's gotta pretty damn good reason to be breakin' that one don't you?"

"So if something happens to him while he's exercising this reason, that's gonna sit well with you?" Tony sniped, his eyes widening with anger

_**Thwack**_

"Thanks." Tony muttered as he pulled out of Gibbs' arms, trudged up the stairs and headed into the bathroom. Gibbs sighed at the sound of the bathroom door slamming as it echoed through the house.

Securing the house, Gibbs retrieved a pillow and a blanket from the spare bedroom and settled down on the couch, feeling the need to be where he could hear Tim if he did come looking to talk.

"What the hell, Gibbs?" Tony demanded as he came down stairs some ten minutes later. "Just because Probie caught us and got a little upset, we can't sleep in the same bed together now?"

Gibbs propped himself up on one elbow as he glared across the room at his disgruntled lover. "Tony. Do you really want to take the chance of Tim coming here to talk to us and finding us in bed together?"

"He won't come here, Gibbs. Never been specifically invited and he knows it." Tony grumped tiredly as he stalked from the room and stomped back up the stairs angrily. "Can't believe you're letting him come between us like this In case something happens that you know won't. He won't come here Gibbs. That's never gonna happen!"

Gibbs heaved out a heavy sigh. Tony was right. Tim wouldn't show up here. Getting up off the couch, he headed to the front door and double checked the lock again before heading up the stairs to placate Tony. With all the disheveled thoughts running through his head, sleep wasn't a friend tonight but the least he could do was still be there for his lover who depended on his strength to fortify his own in times of stress like this. Doing his best to reshuffle his thoughts so that all current thoughts were on Tony, he got into bed and pulled the younger man to him, literally holding him to his chest as Tony's breathing calmed down.

"Tony…" Gibbs quietly tried to soothe him.

"It's okay, I'm the one who's sorry. I don't mean to sound like I don't care about McGee. But if he screws this up for us, I'm never gonna forgive him."

"He won't, Tony. Not on purpose." The older man tried to reassure him. "Not his style."

"I can't take any more failure in my personal life, Gibbs. I just can't." Tony worried.

"Not gonna happen, Anthony." The older man promised as he ran his hands soothingly up and down his lover's arms as he deliberately used the version of his name that let Tony know just how much Gibbs treasured him.

"Even if you have to choose between having us at home or at work?" Tony asked, shifting around to look him in the eye, as for once, that use of his name fails to have the desired effect on him.

"Even then." Gibbs promised as he looked him straight on just before he reached down and kissed him.

Sleep took a long time in coming for Tony that night, but it finally showed up, easing the younger man's tension filled limbs and evening out his breathing almost two hours after he'd first been scooped up and held close by the older man, who was left ignored by the rest that took Tony away.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Our deepest apologies for the long delay in posting this chapter._

_Shelbylou suffered more medical troubles and has been hospitalized once again, for the past week._

_Since we are doing this story together - I could not - in all good conscience - proceed without her approval- which, until today- she was not well enough to give._

_So, it is with her blessing, that this story now continues._

_Let's hope I can do her proud._

* * *

Morning was slow to come and by the time it showed up, as evidenced by the blaring of the hotel room alarm clock, Tim had finally found the beginnings of sleep. Now barely able to keep his eyes open, he glared at the offending device as he reached over to turn it off before forcing himself up out of bed and into the shower; taking care to make it as hot as he could stand for the wake-up effect. By the time the water cascading over him had turned cold, Tim was finally awake enough to at least function somewhat normally. Taking his time to shave and get dressed, he found the urge for his morning coffee growing stronger, thereby speeding up his movements

Throwing his stuff back into his overnight bag, Tim doubled checked for anything he might have left behind and then headed out. Within thirty minutes of waking up, he was at the front desk to check out and drop off the door key since he refused to leave it just sitting in the room itself.

The perky front desk who had obviously just arrived for his shift smiled at him and commented. "Awful early wake up call for a Saturday."

Tim froze. "Saturday?"

"Yes, Sir." The clerk chuckled quietly.

"Damn it! We're off this weekend!" Tim muttered half under his breath in disgust as he ran a tired hand through his hair.

Smiling sympathetically, the desk clerk set the room key back down in front of Tim along with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign. "Sounds like you've earned a day of rest; especially since you obviously didn't get any last night. Put this on the door and I'll make sure housekeeping does that block of rooms dead last today. Must have been a rough night."

Tim's brain hit the brakes on its' current line of thought; switching over to the memory of just how rough a night last night had been. Oddly enough at five in the morning, his brain was back online and he remembered something important that had been left undone, a loose end he needed to take care of.

"Thank you. Actually, I need to take care of something first. Can I have the room when I come back?"

"Sure. I'll even keep housekeeping out for you." The clerk offered.

"Thanks." Tim offered quietly with a small smile as he headed out. The fact that it was only 0500 on a Saturday morning, meant there wouldn't be anyone around to get in his way or give him a hard time about it. Even if it took him an hour to get back to work, he could still be done without interruption in less than fifteen minutes. The closer he got to the Navy Yard, the more he was convinced he was doing the right thing and that it was something that just couldn't wait to be done; now was the perfect time .

*****NCIS*****

Sure enough, two and a half hours later; most of which had been eaten up by the drive back and forth to the Navy Yard, Tim was back at the hotel, having accomplished his mission. He walked back to the room he'd had the night before and hung the sign on the outside of the door as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, dropping his overnight bag back down on the floor. He kicked off his shoes and shed his outer clothing before practically flopping down on the bed. Snatching one pillow and putting it under his head, he reached out and pulled another one into his arms and curled up into a ball, just as he'd done earlier, pulling the covers up over him. just before he let sleep take him away.

*****NCIS*****

Saturday dawned with very little chance to relax as Tony and Gibbs found themselves stressed and tense about the situation with Tim. Tony wasn't happy to find his lover still up when the younger man finally dragged himself out of the cold, lonely bed at nine. Waking up alone had angered Tony as he realized Gibbs hadn't stayed in bed after Tony had fallen asleep, but rather, had gotten up and stayed up all night long. Finding his older lover sitting at the kitchen table lost in his thoughts had morphed his anger into sadness as the words they'd spoken the night before came back to him.

_" ..if he screws this up for us, I'm never gonna forgive him." _

"_He won't, Tony. Not on purpose. Not his style." _

"_I can't take any more failure in my personal life, Gibbs. I just can't." _

_"Not gonna happen, Anthony."_

_"Even if you have to choose between having us at home or at work_

_"Even then."_

Shaking his head, Tony returned to the here and now with a frown on his face as he glanced over at Gibbs yet again. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he sat down at the table across from his troubled lover. "Hey." He greeted him quietly.

Snapped out of his restless thoughts, Gibbs offered Tony a small smile of greeting. "Hey yourself. Sleep okay?"

"Wouldn't have to ask if you'd spent the night in bed with me like you should have." The words slipped out before Tony could stop them. Seeing the fleeting flash of pain cross Gibbs' eyes, he mentally kicked himself for feeding his own need for petty complaining.

Wordlessly, the older man got up from the table and stepped over to the coffee pot, refilling his mug before heading down the stairs to his basement, needing something to occupy his hands while he tried to think things through. He hadn't taken more than four steps down when his cell phone chirped from the confines of his pants pocket. Pausing in his steps, he dug the device out and flipped it open with his thumb as he raised it to his ear.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

_"GIBBS!"_ Abby yelled. "_Tell me you found Timmy last night and that he's okay, because his phone is off and I can't find him!"_

Blowing out a sigh of frustration, Gibbs planted himself gingerly on the step underneath him as he set his coffee cup down and wiped a hand tiredly across his face. "Couldn't find him last night, Abbs."

_"Oh, my God! What if something happened to him? I'm going in to track his phone!"_

"You're wastin' your time if it's off, Abbs."

_"I'll wait until it comes back on. I'll stay there all day if I have to!"_ She exclaimed angrily. _"I won't just sit by and not do something to find him! Just because you two don't care about him, doesn't mean the rest of us feel that way!"_

"Abby. He's a big boy. He can take care of himself." Gibbs argued, deliberately not addressing her claim on how he felt about Tim.

_"I'm goin' in!_ _I'm not giving up on this until I know he's okay!"_ Abby yelled before she hung up on him.

"This just keeps getting' better and better." Tony groused from the doorway above where Gibbs was sitting as he watched the older man snap his phone shut and hold it in his hand.

Getting to his feet, Gibbs turned to face the younger man. "What is it you want me to do, Tony? You want me to act like I don't care how this affects him? He's part of my team. We don't leave our people behind, remember?"

"Not really sure how this qualifies as leaving him behind, Gibbs. More like leaving me behind while you sit and stew about him. You couldn't even stay in bed with me last night!" The younger man argued back heatedly.

When his words seemed to just bounce off his lover with no reaction that he could see, Tony blew out an exasperated sigh. "I'm goin' to the ballgame. I'll be back later." Tony turned and walked out, his tread audible as he stomped to the front door and slammed it behind himself as he left out.

The slamming door seemed to jump start Gibbs' own movements as he took himself back up the stairs and to the shower, suddenly anxious to see what Abby could find about Tim's location. Something in his gut was telling him that it mattered now more than ever that he show that young man that he genuinely did care about him.

*****NCIS*****

Waking up from what seemed like a deep sleep, Tim rolled over and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 12:30 PM. Wow, he hadn't gotten the full 8 hours in, but he definitely felt a heck of a lot better. Sitting up in bed, he realized he hadn't heard his phone go off. Had he missed any calls? _Oh, God! He'd forgotten to turn his phone back on when he woke up earlier! Crap! Sure hope no one's been tryin' to reach me! Never be unreachable, Tim! You know better.!_

As he berated himself for his lack of better judgement, he dug his phone out of his pants pocket turned it on and looked at the call logs. _Oh Crap! 15 missed call from Abby! A half dozen from Tony and an even dozen from the boss. Figures; the one time in six years he truly wanted to disappear and they chose that night to want to talk to him!_

Shaking his head in disbelief at his rotten luck, Tim hit the button to speed dial Abby's cell phone.

_"TIMOTHY NO MIDDLE NAME MCGEE! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" _Abby yelled at him through the phone. _"I've been worried SICK about you!"_

"Abby, I'm sorry, I was so exhausted last night I turned my phone off so I could get some sleep. But then I had trouble sleeping so I wound up sleeping in. I just now woke up. I'm really sorry."

_" I forgive you, Timmy. _Abby relented as her worry for whatever he was dealing with rose to the surface and chased away her anger at his hours of unavailability._ "You don't sound any better than you looked when you left here last night. What's going on?"_

Tim let out a sigh of relief that she had been so quick to forgive him. "It's not something I can talk about, Abby. I'm sorry."

_"That settles it, I'm closing up shop and you're meeting me for lunch, right now!"_

"No, Abby. Wait! What do you mean, you're closing up shop? Are you at work on our weekend off?"

_"Well, yeah! Someone had to come in and run the trace on your phone to make sure you weren't lying dead somewhere!"_ Abby answered defensively.

"Abbs, I'm really sorry, but we can't. I'm not even in D.C. Wait a minute, why would anyone think I was lying dead somewhere?" Wait! You think just because I was upset last night when I left that I was gonna let something happen to me?" Tim didn't know whether to be flattered or upset that she thought he needed so much protection like this.

_"Well, yeah!"_

"Abby, I…"

_"McGee. Where are you?"_ Gibbs interrupted the conversation over the speakerphone he knew Tim hadn't been aware he'd been on. He hoped his tone conveyed his concern so his words wouldn't have to spell anything out with Abby there.

"Did we get called in?" Tim asked in general as he kept his tone as calm as possible, rather than address the boss he was too pissed at to talk to.

_"No._" Gibbs admitted quietly, making sure to keep any anger out of his tone.

"I'll see you Monday morning, Abby." Tim ended the call on his end, leaving Abby and the boss listening to dead air

With a deepening frown and accusing eyes, Abby turned to her knight in shining armor. **"What. Did. You. Do?"**


	5. Chapter 5

**_"What. Did. You . Do?"_**

The shrill ring of his cell phone saved him from having to answer the Lab Rat's question.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

_"I owe you an apology. This thing has me so wrapped up, I can't even think straight. I couldn't even play the game; had to come home to chill out. I'm sorry."_

"I'm on my way." Gibbs snapped his phone shut and turned to Abby. "Sorry, Abbs. Gotta run."

"Gibbs! Don't you dare run out on me without answering my question! Gibbs!"

Sighing in frustration, he stopped and walked back into her lab. Taking her gently by the shoulders, he held his surrogate daughter still with his quiet yet firm instruction. "Abby. Don't push on this one. I promise – it'll all work out."

"Gibbs!"

"Abby. I mean it. Don't push – _anyone _on this." He silently waited for her to give in.

"Fine! But you better look after Timmy!" Abby warned in all seriousness.

"He's part of my team isn't he?"

"Wait! THAT'S the only reason?" Her tone left no doubt, she was angry at him.

"Not what I said, Abbs." The Team Leader gently corrected her.

"Yes it is, Gibbs!"

"Okay, well, it's not what I meant."

"Good!"

Nodding, he turned and headed out.

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs was grateful to find Tony's car in the driveway when he got there not fifteen minutes later; grateful the young man had meant his home when he'd said he'd gone home. Bounding up the porch steps, he nearly burst through the door in anxiousness to see his lover and make things right between them. He'd meant what he'd told him about nothing breaking them up – but at the same time, he could not ignore the effect this information and the way he found out about it – was having on his youngest agent.

Still, right now, his main concern was Tony since McGee had made it plain over the phone just a short time ago, that he was fine but not ready to talk to him. Thankfully, it didn't take Gibbs long to locate the younger man, sprawled out on the bed with nothing on but a towel laid over his waist which was Tony's normal code for 'come and get me'.

Smirking, Gibbs quickly shed his own clothing and laid down beside his lover, scooping him up against him, his arms wrapped around Tony's back, leaving his hands free to tease and tantalize the younger man's nipples.

Tony pulled away and turned over, his eyes extra bright even before he blinked repeatedly and looked away.

Crooking a finger under his chin, Gibbs brought the younger man's chin up until their eyes were level once more. "Told you we were gonna get through this, Anthony. Just have to trust me." He murmured to him quietly.

Tony nodded but held his tongue, which spoke volumes of how upset he was at himself for what he conceived to be a rift between them of his own making.

"Just let it go." Lowering his mouth to Tony's, Gibbs made good use of the rest of their afternoon, cementing their relationship even more as he showed him exactly how much he meant to him.

***NCIS***

Smirking now, as he sat whittling away at the toys on his work table hours later , Gibbs had to admit to himself that he hadn't given Tony much opportunity to talk about anything, but then again, talking hadn't been what the young man had needed and Gibbs had known that. He'd needed reaffirmation and the older man had given him that in spades.

In fact, Tony had been reassured so well, that he'd returned the favor and the afternoon had gone by without them even thinking of getting out of the bed or eating a meal. Even dinner time had come and gone without them giving up their focus on each other. Nothing had gotten in the way and as a result, both felt reinvigorated within their relationship and better about themselves as separate pieces of that pair.

Tony and Gibbs had finally come out from under the blankets and hit the shower together around seven. Even though, that itself had taken yet another hour of their early evening, it had been worth every minute of it. The change in Tony was almost instant and definitely tangible as the younger man had hugged Gibbs affectionately before he'd left out to go hang out with his Frat buddies for the night. He'd even finally admitted how he felt.

"Love you, Gibbs. Don't wanna lose what we have here."

Gibbs had brought his head level with Tony's, their foreheads touching affectionately. "I know, Anthony. I promise we won't let anything hurt us."

Tony had shaken his head and pulled back to look his lover in the eye. "Can't promise that, Gibbs. Just promise me we'll give it our all and I can deal with whatever comes up; so long as you're with me." His eyes had silently begged him not to make him have to bare any more of his soul to him.

The older man had nodded before pulling him in for an embrace, stepping back after a few seconds to kiss him tenderly. "I promise."

Tony had smiled his gratitude and headed out. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Go on, have a good time." The older man had urged with a smile.

"Thanks." Tony had smiled in return and headed out with a lift to his step and a whistle in the air.

Alone in the house now, Gibbs found himself in need of a break from working his hands since his brain wouldn't slow down on him. He couldn't stop thinking, even for a minute; about Tony and about Tim. The afternoon and early evening with Tony had been unforgettable and priceless. He would treasure it now and always. Their relationship had come about by accident, certainly unplanned by either of them.

One minute Gibbs had been driving an injured and medicated Tony home from work and staying with him long enough to make sure he ate something and took his meds for the night and the next, they'd come into each other's space and the rest, as the saying goes, became history. It was becoming something precious to him and he knew without a doubt that Tony already treasured what they had and relied on it deeply. Gibbs didn't want anything to mess it up and he intended to do his best to make sure nothing and no one did.

But in his heart, he still hurt for Tim. He'd hurt Tim and the look of betrayal on that young man's face was eating away at the boss more and more with every passing minute that he knew the young man would not talk to him. Gibbs wasn't sure what was bothering him the most; the fact that Tim had found out about his relationship with Tony the way he had or the fact that he didn't understand why the younger man felt betrayed.

One thing he did know, was that this was not going to be one of those times where he sat idly by and expected the answers to come to him. Keeping his team together and able to trust each other was too important to him and the last thing he wanted to do was screw it up by not dealing with this head on. Digging out his cell phone, he called the one person he knew could give him the answers he needed.

"Hey, Duck. You busy?"


	6. Chapter 6

Ducky walked into his long-time friend's house at nearly eight o'clock Saturday night. The phone call asking him to come over, just a few moments before, hadn't been a complete surprise, even if the short notice that it had requested in, had been. After all, the Scotsman knew more about what might be troubling his friend than Gibbs probably even realized. Maybe already knowing what was going on would actually be helpful to whatever the current crisis happened to be that had the Team Leader finally reaching out for help or at least a listening ear.

"Thanks for comin', Duck." Gibbs greeted his friend as he set a piping hot mug of English Tea down on the kitchen table for him. Both men sat down and got comfortable in their chairs.

"Thank you, Jethro. This wouldn't, by any chance, have anything to do with your relationship with young Anthony, would it, my friend?" The M.E. cut right to the chase, considering it was getting late in the evening and he didn't want to waste time pulling at least that much information out of the normally tight-lipped younger man.

Gibbs sat back in his chair as the shock coursed through him. "How'd you…?"

"How I found out is not nearly as important as whatever it is that is bothering you so much that you have reached out and asked for my help, especially when you factor in the lateness of the hour in which you have done so, Jethro. However, since you have asked, I will sidestep enough to answer your question." Ducky replied. "I could not help but notice the different nuances in your relationship with Anthony these past three months or so. The different way you glance at each other as well as the extra caution you use when you are near him, being careful not to remain too close to him for very long. The more personal glances when you think no one is looking spell significant changes between the two of you as well. One might also suggest that the more than usual amount of head slaps that have become gentler in nature would provide the most prominent piece of evidence and lead anyone who knows you to such a conclusion as to the one I arrived at."

The Team Leader silently nodded in understanding and agreement. Yeah, he could understand how the sharp minded M.E. would have noticed those things; clues he hadn't even realized he was giving away. He couldn't help but wonder who else had picked up on them and how to handle it. Gibbs hoped if anyone else had figured it out, they weren't nearly as upset about it as McGee was.

"Who else knows?" Gibbs had to ask, his tone genuinely concerned.

"Oh, I'm certain Abigail has put the pieces together and has simply chosen to hold her tongue out of respect for both of you and your right to privacy. I'm not altogether certain that Ziva has put the pieces together, although it would not surprise me if she has. I do know that Mr. Palmer is not aware of the relationship and neither is young Timothy." Ducky replied. "Of course you do tend to enjoy leaving him out of the loop on most everything, so I cannot say I'm surprised that he is not aware of it."

"He is now." Gibbs replied quietly, his tone laden with guilt.

"Oh, dear." Ducky replied. "I take it from your tone that this is the reason you've asked me here this evening; to advise you on how to handle young Timothy's reaction?"

"Somethin' like that." Gibbs admitted quietly before taking a long drink of his coffee to gather his thoughts.

"That would require hearing the details of just how it came to be that he found out and just what his reaction was when he first became aware of it, Jethro."

As Gibbs relayed what had taken place between the three agents, from the first moment the revelation had come about, all the way up to the phone call in Abby's lab, the M.E. sat in silence, taking it all in. In the aftermath of everything the Team Leader had to say, the only response Ducky had - was speechlessness.

Restless and extremely bothered all over again with the re-telling of the situation, Gibbs got up and refilled both their drinks before turning back to face the M.E. "C'mon, let's go sit where we can be more comfortable." He offered as he led the way to his living room and took a seat on the couch, leaving the comfortable arm chair open for his friend.

Settled into the comfortable chair with his mug of tea set on the end table beside him, Ducky finally looked at his friend and spoke. "Jethro. Just what is it you need from me?"

"I can read my people, Duck. McGee just as well as the rest of 'em." Gibbs tried to explain the problem, the questioning tone leaving no doubt that what was bothering him was his inability to read his youngest agent in this situation.

Ducky shook his head gently. "Oh, Jethro. I cannot believe that after all these years of working with that young man, that you actually believe that. We all know that Timothy safeguards his feelings almost as well as Anthony safeguards his secrets and the real facts of his private life. You may think you read Timothy well, but the fact is, my friend, you can only read what he is unable to hide – which only happens when he is truly upset and cannot think to put it under wraps."

"So the look in his eyes last night…"

"Was most likely exactly what you read it to be, the look of feeling betrayed by two of the men he trusts most in his life." The M.E. sadly finished for him.

Gibbs breathed out a sigh. "That's what I don't understand, Duck. Why would he feel that way?"

"Oh, Jethro. I'm afraid; I can't answer that for Timothy, although I do have my own ideas as to why that would be. I must say, I'm surprised you don't know him at least well enough to have the answer for yourself already."

"Ducky, for cryin' out loud! Just tell me!" Gibbs exclaimed in frustration.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Jethro. I will not add my speculation to the confusion. If you really care about how this is affecting Timothy, then it is best that you talk to him about it for yourself. I will say this much, however. His feelings are genuine and if I understand the answer you truly seek here, then the answer is yes; his feelings of having been betrayed do have merit." Ducky advised before he stopped and took a long sip of his tea.

Setting his mug back down on the table, he spoke into the silence, having more to say on the matter. "Why his feelings have merit, however, is something you must discover. Since you are an expert investigator, I suspect you shall be able to uncover the answers to your questions without too much difficulty; if you can keep in mind, that anger will do no one any good in this situation. You might do well to also remember that yours and Timothy's personal relationship has never been a very strong one; the two of you have certainly never had very much to say to one another. Or at least, you've never presented him with the opportunity for such conversation, should he have needed it."

The younger man's silence said a lot of his inner turmoil and the M.E. was thankful to see it. It meant that Gibbs wasn't going to just sit back and let this destroy Timothy's faith and trust in the Team Leader and Senior Field Agent. For that, Ducky couldn't help but offer up a silent prayer that Gibbs tread carefully and not let this situation deteriorate any worse. Frowning, he recalled the other problem they must now deal with as a result of this new development.

"Jethro, I trust you are prepared to explain yourself to Vance when the time comes?"

The younger man's head snapped up, his eyes meeting those of his dear friend across the distance between them. "Knowing, McGee, it's not gonna come to that." The younger man replied confidently, his tone almost defensive, as if Ducky had slighted Tim's character.

"Well, I daresay you are placing a lot of responsibility and unfair expectations on Timothy - in addition to everything else you have already heaped on him. I sincerely hope he can forgive you for the selfishness you and Anthony have allowed yourselves to get lost in."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You do not need me to answer that for you, Jethro. You only need to think back on the week you have just needlessly put that young man through. For the life of me, I cannot fathom what came over you and led you to act in such a fashion at work. I can only hope that you have learned your lesson from this untenable situation. Heaven knows Timothy is certainly paying the price for it."

Having said all he could on the subject, Ducky rose, still holding his mug. "If that is all, my friend, I shall wish you a good evening and see you at work on Monday. Please don't hesitate to call me if you should need anything further, however. Especially if either of you three need to talk."

"Thanks, Duck." Gibbs offered as he stood and gently took the mug from his friend and walked with him to the front door. "Appreciate you comin' over."

"You're quite welcome, Jethro. I only wish I could be of more help."

"You've given me more than I had to work with before." The Team Leader admitted with gratitude in his tone.

"Good. I sincerely hope you three are able to work through this, Jethro. I am loathe to see this tear your team apart." The M.E. patted his friend on the arm supportively as he stepped through the door out onto the porch.

"Me too, Duck. Me too. Hey, does Tony know that you know?"

"I honestly do not know if he is aware that I know or not. I cannot even say whether he knows that Abigail has most likely put the pieces together."

"Hmm. Thanks, Duck. Thanks again for comin'.

"You are quite welcome, my friend. Do try and have a good night, won't you?"

"Yeah, G'night."

"Good night, Jethro." Ducky walked down the steps and to his car, knowing his friend was watching out for him and perusing the area around the house that he could see from his door, all in order to make sure the M.E. didn't run into any problems as he drove out of the driveway and headed home.

Gibbs closed the door behind his friend, tiredly leaning against it as he kept his hand on the knob. Countless minutes passed as he remained lost in his troubled thoughts, standing in place at his front door. _Why had he allowed his libido to overrule his brain Friday night? When had he taken leave of his senses and why? Was he in too deep to be objective as a Team Leader? Could this mess be fixed? Most importantly, could he earn back Tim McGee's trust and loyalty or had he completely screwed that up?_

Hearing Tony's car pull into the driveway, Gibbs silently vowed to attack this problem head on, first thing in the morning on Monday and he smiled softly. Time to put this trouble with McGee on the back burner until then and concentrate on his relationship with Tony once more.

Opening the door once more, he watched with a smile on his face as his young lover got out of his car and walked with a confident stride to the front steps; their eyes locking onto each other's, bring smiles to both their faces.

"Hey. Have a good time?" The older man asked as he opened the storm door for Tony, stepping back to let him in.

"Yeah. It was great." Tony answered happily as he dropped his sports gear bag on the floor and kicked off his shoes, reaching for his lover almost at the same time.

Pushing the door closed and reaching out to lock it with one hand, Gibbs took Tony's hand with the other as they headed upstairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Abby made quite a number of attempts to call Tim on Saturday, starting as early as an hour after he'd called her at work that morning. All of her efforts were to no avail and by seven- thirty Saturday night, she was more than upset about it. It wasn't like Tim to be this unreachable; ever. Whatever this was about – had to be majorly bad, as in the MOAS bad, her brain reasoned. Just what the hell had Gibbs and Tony done to her best friend? Those two had been acting especially odd toward each other lately and Abby had her suspicions, but her respect for both of them and their privacy, she'd kept her mouth shut. Being the curious cat she was known for being, that had been extremely difficult.

******NCIS******

Saturday passed by in a fog for Tim, as he wandered the streets of the nearby shopping area, window shopping for before unhurriedly strolling through a nearby park for a few hours. It had been a very long time since he'd had so much time to think without interruption and with only one thing on his mind. Finally, after having decided on what he was going to do about things at work, he found himself in need of distraction from the situation.

Spying the town library, he was quick to warm up to the idea of quickly getting lost in an exploration of their available reading material, wiling away the hours, caught up in an epic novel without even realizing it. It had been years since he'd done something like that and it brought a smile to his face for the first time all week, at the thought of truly being where no one would find him to bug him or worse; try to talk to him about things.

It didn't take him long to settle on something, or rather, a series of something, choosing the Alex Cross series by James Patterson. With 15 books in the series, he smirked at the question of just how long it would take him to read them all, as he got comfortable in one of their reading chairs and dug in. He was startled by the tap on his shoulder, bringing him away from his story. Looking up, he found himself face to face with the head librarian who'd helped him earlier, when he'd first arrived.

"I'm really sorry, Sir. But we're closing now." She told him with a small smile.

"Oh, Okay. I'm sorry; I don't mean to hold you up." Tim offered as he closed the book and stood up, piling the two stacks of books back together and picking them up. "I'll just re-shelve these and go."

"That's alright. It looks like you've not been able to get through your stack. Why don't you take the ones with you that you haven't finished yet and just bring them back when you're done?"

"But, I don't have a library card for here." Tim refuted. "I'm not even from around here; just here for the weekend."

"You look trustworthy to me." She smiled. "I'll tell you what, if you'll leave me you information on where and how you can be reached – along with the book information – we'll keep this just between us."

"Thank you." Tim smiled warmly as he followed her to the front desk, took a slip of scratch paper from the stack that was kept there and wrote what she needed. When he was done, he slid it across the desk to her. "Thank you again. I'm off this weekend, so I should be able to have them back to you before I leave town to head home. I know you're closed tomorrow or I'd just come back and read it here."

"If you need to drop them in the book drop, leave me a note where I can find it so I'll know it's you returning them."

"Okay. Thanks again." He offered as he walked with her to the door.

"You're quite welcome. Enjoy your weekend off." She smiled as she locked it behind him as he headed out.

Tim smiled as he walked to his car, the books safely tucked under his arm, Without any more worries about what awaited him when he returned to work on Monday, he headed back to his hotel room, knowing he would be able to pass the rest of the weekend, pleasantly lost in the pages of the series he was keen on getting to the end of.

*****NCIS*****

As they spent the day on Sunday as they usually did on their weekends off, relaxing with no more talk about anything work related or even about their coworkers, Tony couldn't help but notice how distracted Gibbs seemed to be all day, when the older man thought Tony wasn't looking his way or thought the younger man was sleeping. It wasn't hard to see that this whole situation with Tim wasn't really very far from the surface after all, the relaxed facade in place for the weekend almost paper thin.

It took a lot of extra effort from the two of them to hold the calm before the storm in place but between the extra loud laughter that rang untrue and the longer string of endless movies than they would normally watch together, as well as the more desperate look in their eyes when they looked at each other, they somehow managed not to let it slip. But by the end of the night, conversation had dropped off into silence and the sense of impending doom had settled around them like a mist coming in on the cool front that had already made its' presence felt.

*****NCIS*****

Tim smiled as he waved from her across the terminal to let her know he'd come to pick her up. He knew she'd expected to get a cab from the airport because she'd told him as much in her text messages during the previous week. Tim had been happy to keep in touch with her, hoping to avoid anything close to what happened the last time she hadn't stayed in touch with them while she'd been overseas. Granted, her father had been responsible for that near tragedy, but he still worried about her while she was away.

As the distance between them dwindled quickly with her long strides, Ziva's smile broadened and she was quick to press a kiss of appreciation to his cheek. "Thank you very much, McGee for taking time out of your weekend to pick me up."

"Happy to do it, Ziva" Tim smiled down at her warmly. "I wasn't going to not pick you up when we don't live that far from each other. Besides it's what friends do for each other."

"This is true. Alright. I accept. Now, tell me what I missed in the week I have been gone." She cajoled teasingly.

"You haven't missed anything. Cold cases all week. Boring stuff. We all know that." Tim smiled in that way he had that said he really didn't want to answer the question directly.

"And how did Tony behave? Did he drive you up the hall?" She pushed for the tidbits of information he unexpectedly wasn't obviously going to share. Usually when their often child-like older teammate misbehaved in Ziva's absence, Tim was quick to fill her in, if for no other reason, than to allow her to tease Tony about it later.

Caught between a smile at her mix up of the American idiom and a frown at her question, Tim's mouth settled into a reluctant grimace even as his eyes slammed shut to hide the effect her question had on him. Opening his eyes, he quickly looked around for the luggage pick up section and began walking that way.

"Come on, let's get your luggage. I'm sure you're exhausted and need to get home to your comfortable bed."

She frowned as he was soon too far ahead of her to keep the conversation going. Seeing her friend and normally forthright teammate suddenly trying to smoothly change the subject, sent up warning signs in the young woman's mind and set her investigative mode into gear.

Hurrying up to him, she let out a sigh and pointed out her luggage as it came down the shute and onto the revolving conveyor belt. Once they had all three of her suitcases, Tim turned them toward the airport exit, still not speaking on anything.

Ziva was never one to let problems go un-aired if she knew about them, attempted to open this can of worms. "McGee, what is it? Something is wrong. I can see it in your face. Tell me what has happened? Ziva asked quietly.

"I want hear all about your vacation, Ziva." Tim changed the subject with determination. "Did you manage to relax while you were over there?"

Looking at him very carefully as he silently hailed the valet parking attendant before looking back down at her, it was clear to see that his eyes were almost steeled with a defiant determination that whatever he wasn't talking about, stay unspoken. "Yes, I was able to relax. I had a wonderful time but that is not important now. What is importa…"

"It is to me." Tim cut her off. "A hell of a lot more important than how DiNozzo behaved while you were gone."

The almost cold tone to Tim's voice startled Ziva into nearly tripping over her own two feet before she stopped cold and stared at him. Another red flag was raised when she realized Tim was refusing to look at her now.

"Timothy McGee. What are you not telling me? What did Tony do to you this time?"

As the valet driver pulled up in the car Tim had rented for picking Ziva up, Tim headed to the trunk, and placed her bags in it, as soon as the trunk release was pushed. Not wanting to talk about this was now making this tricky. He couldn't talk about it and even if there had been someone he could talk to about it; he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Hey, are you hungry? Let me take you to dinner."

"You do not have to do that, McGee. I am quite tired and ready to go to bed early tonight." She replied, choosing to follow his lead on the conversation since her efforts to do differently weren't going so well.

"Tell you what – if you promise no talk about work – I'll stop and pick us up some take out and then take you home. That way neither of us has to cook and you can get to bed as early as you want." He offered in hopes she wouldn't stay mad about his refusal to answer her questions. "It's getting late, almost 8 and I'm betting you're starving.

"That sounds lovely, McGee." She rewarded him with one her dazzling smiles. "I am quite hungry yes."

"Okay, then. Let's get going. We should be able to have you home by nine at the latest. That should give you plenty of time to get a good night's sleep."

'Thank you again, McGee, for this kindness." Ziva offered with a smile.

"You're welcome, Ziva. Anytime." Tim gave back with his own genuine smile that finally reached his eyes, even if only for a brief moment.

*****NCIS*****

Knowing Ziva was probably just returning from her trip, Abby headed over there to talk with her friend at nine on Sunday night. She knew Ziva cared about Tim, too and would want to help get to the bottom of this, whatever it happened to be.

She pounded the steering wheel in frustration when she saw that Ziva's car was not in the parking lot of her complex and sat there for a long minute, trying to pull herself together. _What could be so bad that her friend and former boyfriend would not talk to her about it and would have him so pissed at Gibbs that he would actually talk to him the way he had and hang up on him? _

She'd been asking herself that question ever since Tim had done that. It just made no sense. More importantly, he wasn't allowing anyone in to whatever was going on. He was mucking through it alone; which was never a good thing."Damn it! I'll have to find out tomorrow." Abby groused aloud as she glanced at her watch, noted it was close to ten and started her car up again before heading for home.

Once at home, Abby forced herself to stop worrying about Tim for now and chose to try to chill out. She powered up her laptop and spent some time relaxing while she surfed the web and played a game here and there. She'd lost track of time when suddenly, an email alert sounded and she frowned as she stopped playing her game to look to see who it was from; only to smile; _Timmy!_

Opening the email, her smile broadened.

_Abby: I hope you can forgive me for worrying you and for not talking about what you're trying so hard to understand.__  
__Please know that if I could talk about it, I would. But, the fact is, I can _**no**_t talk about it; _**at all.****  
****– **_T._

It took Abby all of thirty seconds to fire off a reply – hoping to engage him in conversation enough to find some cookie crumbs to piece together so she could make sense of this mess.

_Timmy: You're forgiven – so long as you never disappear like that again! Are you alright?__  
__Do you wanna go grab a bite to eat together? You know you can talk to me, right?_  
_You can tell me anything! - Abby_

After hitting the send button, she stood up to stretch and quickly retrieved a bottle of water from her refrigerator while she waited for his answer; which she somehow knew wouldn't be long in coming. Sure enough, when she settled back down in her comfy chair and set her laptop in her lap once more, his email was already waiting for her.

_Abby__  
__– thank you for the invite – but I can't. I'm already turning in for the night._  
_And Abby? Please stop pushing – I really need you to leave this alone. Please._  
_– T._

_P.S. I promise it will all work out. - in the end.__  
__I'll see you at work in the AM. – just remember – no talking about this whatsoever – Please._

This time, Abby was upset to realize Tim had logged off as soon as he'd sent the message to her. Obviously, he was determined to handle this in his own way. She supposed she couldn't fault him for that – she just wasn't used to it and it wasn't sitting well with her. Abby never dealt well with change – especially when she wasn't the one instigating that change. She also had never been one to sit back and let a friend struggle to keep something seriously wrong to themselves. She wasn't sure she could handle this, the way Tim was asking her to. She really needed to know what was wrong, but more importantly; she needed to know what her angelic Gibbs had done that was so bad, Tim wasn't willing to talk to him.

Somehow, she had to get to the bottom of whatever 'this' was.


	8. Chapter 8

Monday morning shone clear and warm, dragging Tim from the comfort of his dreamless sleep on into the beginning of the first day he ever genuinely dreaded going to work. Making his way through his morning routine to get ready for the day, he couldn't help but feel angry that he now needed to erect walls around himself not only to keep others from seeing that anything was wrong, but also to cushion himself from whatever crap DiNozzo and the boss would throw at him today. With steeled determination, he shut the door on all that stuff and refocused on trying to have as normal a day as possible.

Making sure he had his wallet, id and badge, along with his keys and cell phone, Tim headed out to his car, his footsteps heavy with the weight of his burden of knowing too much and knowing above all else, exactly what he had to do about it. With a sigh of resignation of what most likely lay ahead, he got in his car and headed out to work, making sure to leave early enough that traffic would be light.

*****NCIS*****

"Hello, Tony." Ziva greeted as she walked into the squad room a good fifteen minutes before the start of the workday. "Did you miss me?"

"Hey, Ziva, you're looking relaxed and tanned enough for all of us." Tony joked instead of answering the question. He'd made it in a mere two minutes before her and was still settling in behind his desk as she sat down at her desk and powered up her computer, looking tanned and rested.

"How would that be possible?" she questioned seriously as she stood up and led the way to the break room for a cup of coffee, knowing he'd be right behind her since he wanted information from her.

"Ha! Never mind." Tony replied as he tried to keep up with her.

"Ah, I see. That was another one of your strange expressions, yes?" She smiled in understanding as she punched the buttons on the vending machine for a snack.

"Yeah. That's it." Tony muttered sourly as he frowned while looking at the very spot he'd stood Friday night when one of the best moments of his life had turned to crap Friday night. "And since you've been here as long as you have, you should already know that." His tone had unexpectedly turned almost snappish.

Ziva was unbothered by his change of tone and continued on with her teasing. "Oh, I do. Tony. I just enjoy baiting you."

"Hmm." Was the only answer she got, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Tony!" She called sharply to his retreating back.

"What is it, ZEE-VAH!" Tony hissed angrily as he turned back to her impatiently.

"What did you do to McGee while I was away last week?"

*****NCIS****

Having taken his time to come into the building once he'd arrived, Tim was more than relieved to find himself walking into an empty squad room, giving him time to settle in behind his desk. He was happy he could enjoy working on returning his emails in complete peace and quiet. Hopefully, this would be a rare occasion; the one time Tony wouldn't have something smart to say about Tim's being the last of the younger agents to arrive at his desk. With a mental head shake, Tim let go of that thought process and went back to enjoying the peace and quiet, he knew wouldn't last for very long.

Sure enough, not even three minutes had gone by before the peace and quiet was stripped away by Abby's arrival.

"Timmy, I'm so glad I found you up here alone. Now you can tell me what's going on." She insisted as she sidled up behind his desk chair and laid her arms around his neck in a friendship kind of hug.

"Abby!" Tim hissed angrily as he shrugged her arms off of him "Don't do this!" Nearly jumping up from his chair, he physically moved her out of the way. "It's not open for discussion! I told you that already!"

Tim walked out around his desk, suddenly in need of a fresh cup of coffee. He couldn't believe the one person he thought he could count on to help him through this by not asking anything of him, couldn't stop pushing for something he had already told her he couldn't give, despite him practically begging her not to.

"McGee, wait!" She called out to him, stopping him in his tracks. Turning to face her, he waited with bated breath to see what she wanted.

Walking up to him, she looked at him almost shyly. "I'm only pushing because I care about you. I wanna help!"

"Abby. I told you, I need you to leave this alone. That's how you can help."

"Okay. I'm sorry." She offered sincerely. "I promise not to ask you again."

He stared at her as if trying to pull more out of her and she obviously knew exactly what he was waiting to hear, as she amended her promise.

"I won't ask anyone about it, I promise."

Tim stepped up to her and wrapped her in a hug. "Thank you." He whispered into her ear.

"You're welcome." She offered as she stepped back. "You will tell me eventually though, right?"

Tim shook his head in disbelief. "Not this time, Abby. This time, no means no."

"McGee, whatever this is about is obviously a big deal to you and had you really upset Friday night. Your forget, Timmy, I know you almost better than you know yourself and you don't get that upset over something small. How long do you think you're gonna be able to handle not talking to someone about it?" She asked with genuine worry.

"As long as I have to, Abbs." He replied quietly. "As long as I have to."

"Oh, Timmy!" Shy sympathised as she enveloped him in another hug for a quick minute before stepping back and walking away; back to elevator she needed to go back to work.

Turning back toward his destination, he headed back out. With his thoughts running amuck, he wasn't watching where he was going as he headed around the corner from the break room, nearly running into Ziva and Tony as her question to the Senior Field Agent was spoken.

"What did you do to McGee while I was away last week?"

Tim's eyes snapped up even as he pulled himself up short so as to not run headlong into his teammates. Locking eyes with Ziva, he issued a soft apology before sidestepping around them and going on into the break room, deliberately ignoring the other person standing there. It took all he had to ignore Ziva's question and to act as if she hadn't spoken it. But, he was bound and determined that the situation was a dead one – at least as far as talking about it was concerned.

Ziva glared at Tony before silently heading back to the squad room, unhappy that Tim still refused to address the subject. She'd hoped that since he'd walked into the conversation that was addressing the situation head on, he would have opened it up right then and there or that Tony would confess whatever crime it was that he'd committed against Tim, but that hadn't happened either. Since Tim had not specified that the subject was taboo, she felt led to try to get to the bottom of this, even if that look she'd seen in Tim's eyes just now didn't lend itself much toward happiness with the question she'd been asking Tony.

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief that Tim was obviously not going to openly discuss the situation as the older man had feared. Apparently, Gibbs did know the probie a lot better than Tony gave him credit for. Squaring his shoulders, he headed back to his desk, completely unwilling to risk another run in with his teammate. Walking back into the squad room, he was surprised to find Ziva seemingly hard at work on something on her computer monitor. He embraced the moment of silence as he settled in at his own desk once more without so much as a glimmer of reaction from the former assassin across the room from him.

It wasn't but a couple of minutes later that Tim walked back toward his desk from the back hallway and quickly got to work checking his emails, all without saying a word to either of them. The _**ding**_ of the front elevator, heralding the arrival of the Team Leader didn't seem to do anything to change Tim's posture or stop his movements. In fact, if one was looking hard enough, while Tony was greeting the boss, one _would _have seen Tim falter in his movements, but only for a split second, before returning to doing just what he'd been doing before. The fact that Tim seemed to deliberately ignore Gibb's arrival, not even offering his usual 'good morning' to the man, shocked the heck out of Ziva and sparked a fissure of anger in the Senior Field Agent.

It was one thing for the boss to routinely not greet everyone every single day; but it had never been routine for them not to greet him. Being pissed at the man for what took place Friday night was one thing, but carrying it on into a brand new week so obviously, was uncalled for. Tony hoped the probie would get over it and soon, before things began to get uncomfortable for everyone in the room. The boss didn't seem to mind that the morning wasn't as cheerful within the workspace as usual. He merely glanced at each of his agents in turn before getting to work behind his own desk. With an internal shrug to set the situation aside, Tony returned his attention to his own emails, although he couldn't shake his irritation at Tim.

Gibbs couldn't help but glance back over at his youngest agent from across the room, over the top of his reading glasses, having not been able to shake his concern for him with this mess over their heads, especially after talking with Ducky. He didn't like what he saw in the almost back-breaking stiffness in the young man's movements. It wasn't hard to see that Tim had deliberately turned his chair so that it was clear; he was turning his back on the rest of his team, either. It was a red flag like no other and it twisted Gibbs' gut. He really needed and actually wanted to talk to Tim about this. He didn't want the young man to feel ostracized or go on feeling like he'd been betrayed. This needed to be addressed and soon.

Unexpectedly, the silence that had settled in as they all got busy replying to emails, when it finally did get broken, wasn't broken by the boss' desk phone ringing with a call-out, but Tim's. The young man was quick to stop typing and snap his phone up off its' cradle, almost as if he couldn't stand the noise of it ringing. "Agent McGee."

_"Agent McGee, This is Pam up in the Director's office. Director Vance would like to see you."_

"Okay. Would you please tell the Director that I'm on my way?" Tim asked so there would be no question as to what was going on with him; no secrets and better yet, no need to explain where he was going to the Team Leader.

_"Yes, Agent McGee. I'll relay the message."_

"Thank you." Tim answered as he locked his computer and stood up, sighing loudly ._Yeah, he should have known this was coming. That didn't mean it would be easy or fun to get through._ Nearly gritting his teeth in frustration, his mind couldn't help but protest; first Abby, then Ziva and now this. _Would this thing never just go away?_

Without even so much as a glance in either Gibbs' or Tony's direction, Tim silently walked out of the squad room, his shoulders straight and his face implacable, taking the way around his own desk to the elevator. He didn't want to be something for the team to focus on any more than necessary. As the elevator took him up to the Director's level, he took several deep breaths, hoping against hope that this wasn't about what he feared it was. That same thought ran through his mind on instant replay all the way to the man's office, even though he knew better than to think so unrealistically. This was one time he couldn't afford to back down from his position. Too much was at stake. With yet another sigh of resigned acceptance, he opened the outer office door to the Director's Office and walked in, closing the door quietly behind him, feeling like he was marching to his own execution.

"Hi, Pam." He greeted The Director's Assistant warmly.

"Hi, Agent McGee. Go on in, he's expecting you."

"Thank you." He replied as he nervously knocked on the office door anyway and waited for permission to enter.

"Agent McGee, I have an assignment for you." Vance got straight to the point without wasting a minute's time.

Tim blinked, startled. "Okay."

"It might take you a while. You won't be available for your team until it's finished."

"Okay. What do you need from me, Director?" Tim asked calmly even as his stomach knotted up.

"Seems we had some problems here Friday night and I want you to dig into it and figure where the problem is and how we can fix it."

"What kind of problem?" Tim's voice actually wavered and he inwardly cursed himself for it.

Glaring at Tim almost as if he knew more than he could possibly know, Vance sternly spoke "The security footage from the cameras in both the break room on your team's floor and the parking garage in section C of the ground floor level went out for exactly five minutes Friday night. I want to know exactly how, when, where and why the problem occurred."

"Has it done it before or since?" Tony asked almost instantly even as his brain attempted to find a way out of this. His worst fear had come to bite him in the behind.

"No. That's why I want it investigated."

Tim took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Director, I already know what happened…."

******NCIS******

For ten long minutes after Tim went upstairs, the squad room seemed to stop breathing. Finally, after not being able to take the strain, Gibbs looked over at the seemingly busy probie. "Ziva. Coffee run."

Ziva glanced over at the boss and found him holding out the money for the coffee. Smiling softly, she stood up and approached his desk, taking the money from his hand. "Certainly, Gibbs."

"Thanks." He offered with a small smile before returning his attention to his work. Truth be told, he'd be making the run himself if he wasn't needing to see what was going on with Tim. The fact that Vance had called him upstairs and that it had been ten minutes ago with no sign of the young man's return, churned Gibbs' gut even more.

"Smooth move, Boss, you sending Ziva out for coffees so we could talk." Tony smirked, only to frown when he felt the head smack on the back of his head. "Thank you, Boss."

As silently as he'd crept up on his agent, Gibbs returned to his desk, casting his eyes over to his youngest agent's desk, wondering what was going on that Vance would call him upstairs without telling the Team Leader about it first.

Suddenly, Tony was standing in front of the boss' desk, "You're still pissed at McGee aren't you?"

Gibbs stood up, his face mere inches from his agent's face. "Now, why would I be pissed at McGee, DiNozzo?"

"You even have to ask?" Tony asked incredulously.

With that patented unreadable expression of his, Gibbs regarded Tony for a long silent minute full of tension before speaking quietly but with unmistakable steel. "With me. Now." Leading the way to his 'office', he hadn't taken four steps when his desk phone rang. Impatiently, he returned to his desk and snapped the speaker phone button. "Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Agent Gibbs, Director Vance wants to see you right away."  
_  
"On my way." Gibbs replied more calmly than he felt. First his youngest agent and now himself. _Just what the hell was going on? Was Ducky right?_ Blinking to clear his mind, The Team Leader couldn't help but remember the words from Saturday night - he feared were coming back to haunt him now.

_"Jethro, I trust you are prepared to explain yourself to Vance when the time comes?"_

_"Knowing, McGee, it's not gonna come to that."_

_"Well, I daresay you are placing a lot of responsibility and unfair expectations on Timothy - in addition to everything else you have already heaped on him. I sincerely hope he can forgive you for the selfishness you and Anthony have allowed yourselves to get lost in."_

_"What the hell does that mean?"_

_"… think back on the week you have just needlessly put that young man through…..Heaven knows Timothy is certainly paying the price for it."  
_

******NCIS******

"C'mon, Leon, if you have something to say, just say it." Gibbs threw out into the mix in complete aggravation as he watched the other man silently chew on his toothpick. Never one for standing still long, his patience was quickly running out as the clock was easing on around to them having been standing here for a solid five minutes.

Vance finally removed the toothpick and looked down at his desk and the paper sitting there. With his fingers, he slid it off his desk and held it out to the Team Leader. "Read this, Gibbs."

Pulling his reading glasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on. Perusing the document, he frowned. Well, at least he didn't have to wonder what Vance had called his agent up here for. According to this paper, McGee was admitting to clipping five minutes off the security footage in the break room and the garage - because he'd gotten so upset at something his father had just said to him in a phone call, that he'd broken down thrown a few chairs around in the break room– and allowed himself to shed a few tears when he'd reached the garage. He hadn't wanted it to become public knowledge. _Crap! The security cameras! Out of the three men, only Tim had remembered them and come back to clean up the mess he and Tony had created. Oh, McGee! How can we ever thank you for this_? _Least we can do is make sure you didn't do this for nothing. Have to help make sure Vance buys your story, Tim._

"Okay." Gibbs said. "So he screwed up, made a bad decision. He's not the first agent to mess up. Won't be the last."

"That's certainly true enough. That's not the problem, Gibbs. "

"Okay."

"The problem is I don't appreciate being lied to."

"McGee's not a liar, Leon. If he says he was upset, then he was upset." Gibbs told him with straight face and iron clad steel. _Oh, yeah, McGee was definately upset._

"I'd like to believe that."

"Then believe it." Gibbs replied with conviction. "I do."

"Maybe that's why I've told him this matter would be closed if you didn't find any problem with his explanation for tampering with the security footage."

"Tell me you didn't put this on his record." Gibbs demanded almost instantly, before his brain could even process what he was hearing.

"Not sure why you'd want to let him skate by on this, Gibbs. Or why you'd expect me to."

"Leon, he could have just told you he couldn't explain the glitch that ate those minutes of the security footage, but he didn't. He owned up to it."

"I'm aware of that, Gibbs. "I'm not in the habit of not taking the whole picture into consideration before I decide how to handle the situation."

"True enough."

"I'm not in any hurry to blacken his record so he's getting by with a very severe warning, an unofficial reprimand, if you will. But this will never happen again!" Vance informed the Team Leader sternly.

"You're right, Leon. It won't." Gibbs agreed quietly, as he turned and headed out, completely blown away by his agent's taking one for the team – more specifically for his Team Leader and Tony.

_How_ _could he ever repay his agent for this?_


	9. Chapter 9

Tim came back from the coffee run he'd sanctioned for himself after his meeting with Vance, feeling much more comfortable going that route instead of going back to _that_ break room, he, ignored Tony completely and only offered Ziva a small smile of greeting as he silently walked in and immediately settled in back into his chair and got back to his work, not wanting to disrupt the quiet working atmosphere he'd come back to.

Seeing this deliberate snub while still smarting from Tim's earlier behavior, as well as being irritated by the younger man's seemingly self-important trip up to the Director's Office, Tony was quick to launch himself to his feet and over to Ziva's desk. "I need to talk to McGee alone."

"Tony, it is obvious McGee does not wish to talk to you. Why should I leave you alone with him?" She asked him quietly but with an unmistakable warning in her tone that she knew he had enough sense to take seriously.

"Because I'm not gonna do anything but talk to him, Ziva." He defended his intentions wapishly.

"Very well. But I will not leave him alone with you for you to pounce on him while he does not expect it. I will warn him first." She vowed as she got up and headed over to Tim's desk. "McGee, I am going down to check on Abby for a few moments. Gibbs has not come down from the director's office since he went up there some fifteen minutes ago."

Tim looked over at her in surprise. _Why was she telling him all of this? _Then it dawned on him. She was letting him know that he and Tony would be alone and that she was worried. "Thanks, Ziva. Will you ask Abby if she wants to throw her lunch order in with mine later on? I'll treat you both to lunch" He asked her quietly with a smile of appreciation, while deliberately making sure neither of them were letting this be anything but a normal conversation, with no reference whatsoever to what he would not talk about.

"Yes, McGee. I will. And thank you, that is very kind of you" She smiled, following his lead before she headed to the back elevator.

******NCIS******

Thanks to Ziva's kind words of warning, Tim knew what was coming next and even though he hoped he could remain firmly silent on the matter, he also knew how Tony operated. The Senior Field Agent loved to keep digging where he had no business nosing around until he got what he wanted, always operating under the misconception that he had an unalienable right to get what he wanted no matter what the cost to anyone. He was that burr under your saddle you just had to get rid of and the only way to get rid of this burr was to shut him up; which usually meant giving in and telling him exactly what he wanted to know.

_Well, not this time_. Tim wasn't about to let Tony unsettle him like he usually did. He'd had taken enough crap from the older man last week; for the last seven years if the truth were to be told and he wasn't about to take any more. Squaring up his shoulders, he heaved out a sigh and attempted to beat Tony to the punch. "I have nothing to say to you, DiNozzo. I'm here to do my job just like everyone else and that's it. So just leave me alone and we'll get through the day just fine."

Shocked not only by Tim's words and the bitterness in which they were spoken, but also because Tim had attempted to shut him down before he'd even gotten started, Tony remained silent for a long minute. The fact that Tim hadn't even looked at him while he spoke that way further shocked Tony, leaving him feeling like he was on shaky ground. A few short minutes later and the shock was gone and now the anger marched in. Tony's fists were soon clenched as he approached Tim's desk. Using one to support his weight on the desk, he leaned in towards Tim's personal space in an effort to keep the conversation as quiet as possible.

"You practically ruined mine and Gibbs' weekend, McWhiner! And now you're trying to turn this place into your personal soap opera with Abby and Ziva all worried about you and asking Gibbs to worry about you and asking me what I supposedly did to you. What _is _the big deal here, Probie? So you saw something you didn't like on Friday night, so what? Get _over_ it!" Tony quietly ordered with steel in his tone.

"You done?" Gibbs quiet voice sounded in Tony's ear, filled with steel-laced anger so hot it nearly vibrated in the air around them.

Tony whipped around, "Boss! I didn't realize…." He stammered.

"You're done." The tone had sharpened dangerously, yet Tony pushed, too wound up and frustrated by the whole ordeal to back down easily.

"Gibbs, I'm jus…."

"I'd, take a break before you say something you're really gonna regret, if I were you, DiNozzo." Gibbs interrupted the younger man before he could make things worse.

"Didn't realize you were gonna add runnin' interference for him to your list of ways to let him come between us, Gibbs." Tony's tone was quiet yet completely bitter, bordering on disrespectful as his eyes flashed angrily even as his fists curled with agitation.

"Now, DiNozzo." Gibbs warned angrily, his tone still barely quiet while his eyes left no doubt he was even more pissed than he had been a moment ago.

Tony turned and stalked from the squad room, disappearing around the corner without so much as another word.

Left behind with the still working Tim McGee, Gibbs was momentarily struck speechless. Wanting to talk quietly to Tim and Tim alone, he'd chosen to come around the back side of the squad room after his meeting with Vance. He'd still been reeling from finding out what the young man had done for him and Tony in deleting that taped evidence, as well as taking the blame for the need to tamper with it in the first place, when he'd come back down the stairs.

He'd heard every single spiteful word that had come out of Tony's mouth just now and it had taken every ounce of self-discipline not to give his Senior Field Agent one heck of a head slap. Somehow, he'd held himself in check and gone with the element of surpise, not only with his presence but with his quiet words of unmistakable anger and warning. Now seeing his youngest agent still trying to act like he hadn't been in tune with what had just happened, the boss was frustrated._ How was he supposed to be able to get anywhere with Tim like this?_

Before he could think on things any longer, Ziva returned to the squad room and went straight to her desk, getting back to work with whatever she was working on at her desk. Not wanting this to get away from him any further, Gibbs approached Tim's desk, determined to at least thank him for everything he'd done, both over the weekend and upstairs in Vance's office this morning.

"McGee." The boss' tone was deliberately quiet and bordering on sympathetic in hopes of garnering Tim's cooperation.

Tim was still reeling from the tongue lashing Tony had just given him and in all seriousness, was fully expecting the same from Gibbs. The Team Leader's timely intervention just now and unmistakable anger at Tony had surprised the hell out of him and left him speechless. Even though Gibbs was known as the functional mute, it unsettled the resident geek even further that the man stood there for so long, silently contemplating something before approaching Tim's desk and speaking his name.

With his ingrained manners still firmly attached to his character, Tim had no choice but to look at his boss, once his name had been spoken. It didn't, however, mean he had to speak to him. After all, right now, he had no clue what to say. He hoped like hell that the boss would not ask him any questions. Tim didn't feel like answering any right now. All he really wanted to do, was get back to work so this day would move on and he could go home and get away from all this craziness.

Once the young man looked his way, Gibbs found himself struggling with what to say to him. _Where should he start? What did Tim need to hear the most right now? He wasn't good at this stuff, never had been. With his luck, he'd screw it up even more; make matters worse. Well, at the very least, they could try to talk things out, especially if he gave Tim carte blanche with the conversation in the privacy of Gibbs' 'office'_. Finally, he tried to get things rolling the best way he knew how. "Need to see you in my office."

Maintaining eye contact, Tim asked quietly "Does this have anything to do with a case or my work?". The question was completely unexpected, causing even Ziva to look up in surprise. With her excellent hearing, she'd caught what he'd said as well.

"No, it doesn't." Gibbs told him honestly, once he'd gotten over the surprise of Tim acting out of character like this.

Continuing to look Gibbs straight on, Tim spoke with quiet confidence. "Then we don't have anything to talk about, do we?." Unwilling to be rude, The young man forced himself to hold the boss' gaze until he was given the answer that would allow him to get back to work. Sure enough, Gibbs gave him that one quick nod of agreement he needed and Tim turned back to his work while the boss paused there for a short minute then turned and went back to his own desk.

A stunned Tony had stood on the outskirts of the squad room a moment ago, a mere couple of feet from the divider behind Tim's desk. He'd come back out of frustration and the need to know exactly how his lover was going to handle Tim becoming out of control like this. Feeling the heat of anger suddenly directed at him, he looked up over the divider, only to find the man in question glaring at him enough that Tony knew it was time to get back to work.

*****NCIS*****

Somehow, that simple yet unexpected decision of Tim's along with the Team Leader's choice to respect that decision, quickly returned things to as near as normal as they could be, given the circumstances. Gibbs knew his youngest agent at least well enough to understand that 'normal' was what Tim was after; what he needed. With that in mind, he'd scowled at Tony while glaring at him over the divider, once he'd realized his Senior Field Agent was over there eavesdropping, letting him know that while it was time for him to get his ass back to work, this issue of Tony's earlier behavior, was far from over between the two of them.

Wanting to do what was best for his team, overall, as well as what he could to help Tim through what had to be a difficult morning, given what the young man had already put himself through to protect the team's unity, Gibbs refused to deal with Tony now. He was loath to call any more attention to the problem, choosing instead, to table it until he and Tony could talk without witnesses or even creating a scene by leaving together for any reason. Gibbs knew that Tony probably figured the situation was over and done with; but he'd find out differently, later on today. Gibbs just hoped the young man would handle it well and not hold Tim responsible.

Tim was grateful that Gibbs didn't challenge his unusual refusal to do as the boss had directed; grateful and shocked. He couldn't help but notice there was a different look in the man's eyes since he'd come back from the Director's office, too. He just wished he could figure out what that look was about because Tim had always hated not knowing what the man was thinking; especially when it had to do with Tim, himself. Mentally shrugging it off as something about the man, he'd never understand, he got back to work, reading through the ten year old cold case open in front of him, his hands and eyes alternating between the case file and his computer while he ran fresh searches for information.

*****NCIS*****

Before they realized it, the morning hours had slipped away, making room for the lunch hour to slide on in. When Gibbs sounded the call, Tim and Ziva together broke off from their work and while the young woman issued the standard 'good bye' to colleagues that weren't accompanying her, Tim remained silent as they headed down to get Abby for lunch. Neither Tony nor the Team Leader moved to get up or even stopped working for the first ten minutes.

Tony was shocked when Gibbs stood suddenly and walked out around his desk, heading out of the squad room past Tony's desk. But what surprised the younger man even more, was being called to go with him.

"With me, DiNozzo." Gibbs ordered in his normal tone while he kept moving forward toward the elevator.

Sharing the elevator with other employees of NCIS, left no room for discussion on the way down to signing out for lunch and so it wasn't until they'd reached outside and began walking towards the sandwich shop that sat on the corner two blocks up, that Tony opened his mouth to ask the burning question.

"What's on your mind, Gibbs?" Tony's voice was quiet and compassionate, genuinely concerned for not only his boss, but his lover.

With his hands in his pockets, Gibbs stopped and turned to face Tony, his less than happy mood evident in his features. "Security Footage." he quipped, hoping his normally bright Senior Field Agent would get the point quickly and get over himself in this matter. Frankly, he was fed up with Tony's self-serving attitude, especially after watching Tim try so hard to do everything he could to take care of the evidence and then go back to all things normal. Tony needed to be taking lessons from Tim on this one; they all should.

Before either of them could say anything else, Tony's cell phone rang, disrupting not only the mood of open communication, but also the flow of conversation. With a quick apology, Tony dug his phone out and answered it.

"DiNozzo. …What?...No, I…okay, I'll be right there." Snapping his phone shut, Tony offered an aggravated explanation. "Evidence Lock Up's doing their monthly auditing. According to them, I owe them an explanation or two and they want it now." Turning on his heel without waiting for a reply, Tony headed back toward the building. _What the hell did they mean he hadn't signed in some evidence?_

Gibbs watched his agent walk back toward the building, aggravation of his own building up at this chance to talk about the mess that needed to be worked through, being stolen from him. _Damn it! Now, I'll have to find a way to get through to him later - and hope like hell he doesn't make things worse before I get the chance!_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Very short chapter - by design._

* * *

Abby, Ziva and Tim enjoyed a leisurely stroll toward the closest hot dog vendor which happened to be situation close by a small café just around the corner. This would satisfy all of their tastes for lunch and give them the chance to relax and enjoy the wonderful weather too. While the temperature outside was warm, the atmosphere that seemed to settle around them like a thin summer blanket, seemed to quickly become almost paper thin if not brittle, as if each were afraid to even attempt to break the silence,, for fear they'd say something wrong and make things worse. It wasn't long before Abby had reached the point where she could take no more of it.

"Somebody say something! Ziva! Tell us about your vacation!" The lab rat pleaded with a note of desperation in her voice.

"My vacation?" Ziva asked in surprise since this turn of conversation had come from out of the blue.

Tim smiled wryly. "Please, Ziva. Tell us all about it." He flashed a glance of gratitude in Abby's direction before returning his eyes to Ziva and then the walk before them.

"Well, alright.

*****NCIS******

By the time they'd reached the hot dog stand, unanimously voted for a meal from the diner, found a booth to sit in and placed their orders, the first half hour of their lunch hour had gone, lost amidst the wonderful stories Ziva was relaying about her vacation; one she'd been able to take without fear of being in danger. It was something she was still trying to get used to.

Sipping their water while waiting for their orders, the ladies excused themselves in favor of a quick trip to the ladies room, leaving Tim alone for the first time since he'd come back from his after meeting coffee run earlier this morning. Taking a deep sigh, he slowly let it out. This was proving to be one hell of a difficult day. It had taken an awful lot for him to stand up to Gibbs: not because he wanted to, but because for his own peace of mind and the ability to keep moving forward without getting dragged down in that mud from Friday night, he had to.

Tim and Gibbs had never talked about anything before and that's what made it far from normal for them to try now. It was too different and different meant there was something wrong somewhere. That was what needed to be left alone; cast aside just like all the genuine problems they'd done that to over the years. Nothing needed to change now. Nothing should change now; nothing that was, except what few changes that would most likely pop up before the next fresh case was put to bed. Tim smiled wryly. Here they were still working cold cases and he was worried about what would happen the next time the team was needed out in the field. _Dummy! Worry about that when the time comes! _He scolded himself with a soft chuckle.

Over in the ladies room, Ziva was gearing up to ask Abby the question that had been on her mind for the past hour, while they both adjusted their hair while looking in the mirror. "Abby, why would you not tell me what is going on with McGee when I asked you earlier this morning? Surely it has something to do with this strange 'mood' he seems to be in. I am almost certain whatever this is, is the reason that Tony has been snarky and unsettled all day, as well."

"I can't tell you, Ziva." Abby replied softly. "I promised Timmy I wouldn't ask about it again and with what little I know, I don't think I've put all the pieces together enough to give us an idea."

"Ah, But did you promise not to share what pieces of this puzzle that you do have?" The Israeli asked with a soft smile of understanding on her face.

"Well, no, but if he doesn't want to talk about it – which he says he doesn't, and I already know that Tony and Gibbs don't want to talk about it. Heck, they couldn't shut me down or get rid of me fast enough Friday night, I mean, they didn't even want me looking for Timmy when I asked them why he was so upset when he was leaving after work and Oh, My God!" Abby ended her spiel quietly in a tone filled with sorrow as her eyes grew wide and her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

"Abby! What is it?" Ziva asked in concern.

"I can't tell you." The Lab Rat mournfully replied as she fought to hold back the tears.

"Alright. I understand. Shall we return to our friend so we finish our lunch?" Ziva wouldn't push at this point because she understood Abby's position. Obviously Abby had put more pieces together and was quite miserable with what she'd come up with. Remembering Tim's refusal to talk about it on Sunday night and hearing that he'd made Abby promise not to do so either or to dig for more on it, Ziva knew it was time to let it go. If and when Tim wanted to let her in, she'd be there to listen. That's what friends did.

Walking back to their booth, Ziva noticed Tim from across the room. Her friend finally looked to be at peace as he sat their waiting for them to come back since their orders had been delivered. She hoped he would be able to hold onto that feeling of being content because he deserved at least that much.

"Hey, Timmy, did you miss us?" Abby asked with a botched attempt at flippancy.

Instantly, Tim's eyes snapped up off his water glass and flew to the Lab Rat's as he appraised what he could see of the situation. He knew Abby well enough to know something big was bothering her and it was serious. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd bet that she'd been crying or was very close to doing so. " Hey? Abby? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked immediately. "What happened?"

"I honestly do not know." Ziva reported quietly as her eyes remained fixed on Abby.

"Abby?" Tim pushed a little more firmly.

"Timmy, I'm so sorry." Abby replied tearfully.

"About what, Abby?" He asked in genuine confusion. "Talk to me."

"I put all the pieces together." She murmured as she looked at him from beneath her lashes as her head stayed lowered in sorrow.

Almost instantly, Tim's posture stiffened even as his eyes grew wide with anger and surprise. Too upset for words, he got to his feet, threw some money on the table for the meal and glared at her angrily.

"I asked you to leave it alone! Begged you! His voice trembled with both anger and hurt.

"I know, Timmy and I had every intention of leaving it alone, honest!" Abby cried in protest.

"You promised!" Tim reminded her with quiet anger that seemed to weigh him down so completely, he didn't seem to be able to move for a minute.

"I won't say anything, I promise! It'll stay just between us." Abby vowed with conviction. " But at least now you'll be able to talk to someone about it – me! You won't need to keep it all bottled up anymore. I know you're still upset about it. I would be too!"

"No offense, Abby, but you have NO clue how I feel about this." Tim replied seriously. "And in case you didn't hear me this morning? I will NOT talk about it!"

Suddenly in need of some fresh air and some space to breathe, he walked away.

.


	11. Chapter 11

Left behind in the wake of this most unpleasant and unwanted turn of events, Ziva found herself angry on Tim's behalf, saddened for Abby and guilty for pushing the Lab Rat to talk about this in the first place, even if she had done it out of a deep concern for Tim. It had been wrong and now she'd played a sad part in possibly damaging a friendship that had started out strong and been forged long before she'd ever gotten here to this team.

"Abby, I am so very sorry." She tried to begin making amends, knowing it may not be enough.

The Lab Rat smiled weakly through her tears. "It's not your fault, Ziva. I should have been able to stop myself from getting so upset about it. Then I could have kept the fact that I'd figured things out from Timmy."

"Still, had I not pushed you to talk about it, this would not have happened." Ziva asserted.

"Maybe not exactly like this, but it would have come out – eventually." Abby eased her friend off the hook with a smile that genuinely forgave her. "C'mon, let's get our meals boxed up so we can eat them later. Timmy needs to eat more – and he'll already be struggling with his appetite. He always does when he's upset."

The walk back to the office was a quiet one, neither of them having anything further to say. What had started out as an enjoyable lunch hour between three friends and co-workers had unexpectedly turned into something none of them would have ever wished for. Individually, the women both hoped for the opportunity to present itself where they could apologize to their friend and colleague before the day was out. Both of them knew it was the least they could do for him.

*****NCIS*****

Tim settled in behind his desk in the thankfully empty squad room, with just minutes to spare on his lunch hour. He was no longer angry enough to chew through steel since the walk back to the office had given him the chance to let it out through the force of his steps and the harshness of his breathing he'd allowed to get almost out of control; until he'd calmed down enough to take it back in hand. Once he'd reached the building, he'd taken advantage of the extra time he'd had left and taken himself to the overlook at the water's edge from where he'd had an excellent view of the magnificent USS Bary where it sat docked as a landmark. Looking at it for a long contemplative minute seemed to bring home to Tim the fact that there were many much bigger things in life than this situation, no matter how difficult or painful it had been and was continuing to be.

That thought process brought him back to Abby. He couldn't really fault her completely. Putting puzzle pieces together was part of who she was. It was what made her damn good at her job and most of the time it made her a damn good friend to have – so long as she wasn't off into one of her 'off' moods where she seemed to turn on those she cared about.

If he stopped to think about it long enough, he'd have to realize she hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't as if she'd spilled anything specific and even a blind man could have seen how upset she'd been when she had put things together. The one thing Tim wasn't sure of was whether she'd gotten upset like that because she'd figured things out or because she didn't like the picture the 'things' she'd figured out had presented.

It didn't matter, in the long run. What mattered was that everyone be able to put this whole mess away – for good- and get back to what was normal; well, as much as that were possible. Tim was still mindful of the few things he had no choice but to change for his own protection and self-preservation. He definitely wasn't looking forward to the moments when those changes would become known to the rest of the team.

Realizing that also meant realizing that his wish that it could all be dropped like the hot potato it was, wasn't realistic. Tim frowned as he got his computer back on the searches and turned his eyes to the apology he needed to send to Abby through her email so she could know he didn't blame her and wasn't mad at her any more. Until the things that had to change, had been dealt with, this would still be hanging over his head, whether he wanted it to be or not. Damn it!

*****NCIS*****

In no hurry to return to the somewhat stuffy office building and no longer hungry, Gibbs had spent his hour sitting on the bench ensconced within the beauty of the small dedicated area – used just for that reason. With the tall shade trees more than adequately shielding him from the sun's glare, he sat lost in his thoughts as he struggled to wrap his mind around Tony's attitude towards Tim since Friday night's turn of events. It was almost as if the Senior Field Agent was blaming Tim for everything that Tony perceived wasn't right between him and Gibbs. Sadly, it seemed as though Tony was even blaming Tim for stumbling across what happened in the break room Friday night. If that were true, Tony was in for a long and uncomfortable time of it until he got his head on straight and came back around to looking at things more objectively.

His musings had been interrupted by the blur of motion out of the corner of his eye that turned out to be his youngest agent walking back to the office, obviously pissed about something. Knowing he'd gone to lunch with Abby and Ziva sent Gibbs' stomach twisting. He'd really hoped Abby hadn't operated in her normal mode of digging for the answers no matter what. As he'd silent watched from his position on the bench, not 100 yards from where Tim had stopped and stood at the water's overlook, he'd pondered the possibilities of what might be going through the young man's mind at the time.

It had been with a sense of relief that he'd noticed Tim begin to relax as he stood there looking out over the water. The young man's shoulders had loosened up and his hands had no longer been clenched at his sides, but rather holding on loosely to the railing in front of him as he'd lifted his face to the sun just enough that had been obvious that he was taking the time to enjoy the day. Gibbs couldn't help but smile at the sight of his youngest agent finally being comfortable enough to relax and just be himself. It wasn't often the Team Leader got to see this side of this agent. The moment was gone when Tim had heaved a huge sigh and turned around, walking back to the building, headed back to work.

Now, he stood in the shadows of the squad room watching his team begin to trickle back in from their lunch hours. It soon became obvious that Ziva was worried about something, until she presumably read her emails since she glanced across the room shortly after staring at her screen for a few minutes, and smiled brightly at his youngest agent. He couldn't tell what the young man's reaction was from where he was standing, but the atmosphere in the work area seemed to have warmed up a good ten degrees in those few minutes. At that point, Ziva relaxed and got back to work, as did Tim. The only one missing was Tony and Gibbs was willing to cut him some slack since he had to deal with the Evidence Lock Up snafu earlier. He'd give the guy ten more minutes and then he'd be calling him for a sit rep.

A small smile crossed his face for a moment before Gibbs returned to Tim's desk. It was time to attempt to talk to the young man because the chance of them picking up a new case was always imminent and if he let the rest of the day go by, then the chance of them not getting anything discussed before Tim split at the end of the day, greatly increased as well. It was a gamble Gibbs wasn't ready to throw the dice in on: not this time.

The Team Leader stood still long enough to realize Tim, in his determination not to address this issue, was acting different as much as he needed to even now, which meant he would not do as he usually did and look up to see what the boss wanted, unless specifically spoken to. Any proof he needed of that had happened earlier in the day when he'd attempted to talk to him and been shot down, politely but firmly by the young man. Hoping his voice came out the way he wanted it to; he made his attempt.

"McGee."

Hearing his name from the boss again, in the same almost sympathetic tone, Tim sighed and looked over at him expectantly.

This time, there were no further words spoken, instead the patented inclined gesture of his head, asking more than politely to accompany him, the look in his eyes actually resembling compassion, made it hard for Tim to refuse. It tugged at his heartstrings since he'd never been able to stay pissed at the man for very long before and it was extremely trying to do so now since the man had seemingly come around to actually being more objective than usual throughout the course of the day.

Letting out yet another sigh of pent up frustration, Tim gave in, happy that Tony wasn't here to see this; knowing the guy would take it whatever the worst way was for him to take it – and add it to the list of crap he was holding Tim responsible for. Hoping against hope that the boss would not confine them to the small space of his usual office, Tim was relieved when the man led the way, instead, down the stairs and outside, away from everyone and their prying eyes and eavesdropping ears.

Once outside, the silence between them remained, as if Gibbs was in no hurry to push Tim for anything. For that, Tim was grateful since he was having trouble stringing two words together at the moment. He really did NOT want to talk about this but he finally felt ready to hear what the man had to say since he'd been able to admit to himself that the Team Leader had made the effort to turn some things around, even if the effect wouldn't last very long.

Tim was tired; tired of being angry; tired of feeling wound up like an over wound watch; tired of worrying about what the next thing coming out of either Gibbs' or Tony's mouth was going to be and just plain tired. Suddenly, the fight oozed out of him and left him feeling drained and heartbroken. No longer willing to stay angry did nothing to take away the realization that his trust in these two men had been broken. He couldn't help but remain firm in his belief that by getting involved with Tony intimately, Gibbs was sanctioning every single thing the Senior Field Agent had done and was continuing to do in terms of harassing Tim and getting away with all the pranks and goofing off and being overly obnoxious towards his teammates, mainly Tim.

How could he explain to the boss that this was why he felt betrayed by him while with Tony it was not only that he'd climbed into Gibbs' pocket, so to speak, but was also making a mockery of all the mockery he'd thrown at Tim for supposedly being gay all these years? What was even worse was the slant this put on all the times Tony ridiculed him for not being able to become the ladies man Tony supposedly was.

Gibbs watched Tim walk slowly with his head lowered as if he wasn't willing to look around him. Realizing that the young man was most likely thinking hard about everything that had transpired since Friday night; possibly even since before that if Ducky was right, the Team Leader left him alone, choosing instead to silently walk a few steps behind him so he wouldn't crowd him. He hoped this meant that the two of them could finally talk. He was grateful beyond measure that he had gotten some sound advice from his friend and the behind the scenes information from Vance. Now he had a better understanding of this young man than he'd ever had before and he had this chance to make damn sure he reached out to him like he should have done a long time ago.

Feeling mentally wore out just from trying to process all this before he said a word for fear he'd say something wrong or leave something out, Tim took himself to the railing at the water's edge and turned around, crossing his arms against his chest as well as crossing his ankles crossed for added support, he leaned back slightly into the railing and settled in for this talk that was long overdue. Finally finding the one word he needed to start it all off, he looked squarely at Gibbs and opened his mouth.

"Why?"


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: I've been trying to keep the chapters somewhat short on purpose. This one got away from me and I couldn't cut it up.  
_

* * *

_"Why"?_

Startled by the question's vagueness rather than the fact that it had been asked in the first place, Gibbs struggled for the words to answer it that would not send the wrong message or chase Tim away with the misconception that the boss wasn't taking him seriously or didn't want to talk. The problem was, there were so many questions that he knew Tim probably wanted to ask that started that way; so which one was Tim after to start off with?

The boss' silence did little to help Tim's determination to get on with this. Suddenly feeling like he was up against the brick wall that was Gibbs, he mentally dialed back his ambition to clear the air completely in one shot– now just settling for taking it moment by moment; beginning with finding out what was on the boss' mind. Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, Tim deliberately looked the man square on as he clarified his first question and hoped his tone conveyed more calmness than he was feeling.

"Why did you want to talk to me?"

Being given a more specific question, the Team Leader was able to answer that one without tripping himself up because it was the one question he'd been thinking most on since Friday night when he'd seen that look on this man's face that had broken his heart – but even more on his mind after talking to Ducky Saturday night. "Lotta things happened last week that shouldn't have, McGee."

Finally looking away, Tim let his eyes fall to his feet as he breathed out a sigh of tired frustration, "Yeah." He managed to reply.

"Today, too."

"I know." The young man felt a twinge of guilt over his actions with Vance earlier. Was that why they were out here talking; because Tim admitted to screwing around with government property?

"You stuck your neck out for us, McGee. Can't thank you enough for that." Gibbs offered with genuine gratitude.

Tim looked away, not wanting to talk about what he'd done or the fact that he'd needed to do it at all, if he didn't really have to. Hell, he didn't even want thanks for it. He just hoped Gibbs would get off this track of conversation and never come back to it. He wasn't proud of any of it.

"Not your fault." Gibbs stated, hoping Tim would understand he wasn't just talking about any specific situation, but the entire mess and even the way he and Tony had treated him all week long.

"What?" Tim asked in confusion as Gibbs words failed to match up with what he'd been thinking.

Gibbs frowned. He hated having to repeat himself but it was obvious that his agent hadn't expected to hear what he'd just told him. Letting his breath out slowly, he repeated what he'd said, just this once.

"None of this is your fault."

"Tell that to your golden boy, Tim muttered half under his breath before his manners took over and left him mortified that he'd spoken to Gibbs that way, but so embarrassed, all he could do was hang his head.

Gibbs expression sharpened but he remained silent, realizing he couldn't quite allow himself to be angry at Tim since the young man was not only right, but had every right to be angry about it. "Okay."

"Okay?" The younger man questioned quietly as he raised his head back up and looked at the boss. Because after all, that one word could mean more than one thing and frankly, he needed to know exactly what the boss meant by it.

"Okay, I'll talk to him." The Team Leader clarified a bit on the impatient side. He really wasn't used to having to explain himself and it was taking a lot of effort to do it calmly, since he was more impatient than calm by nature. "I shouldn't have let him get so out of hand."

Tim nodded silently, not feeling up to thanking the man for something that should have been done before now. Now that they'd cleared that up, the silence seemed to quickly come between them, as if cushioning them both against what might be waiting for them with the next spoken words.

"Shouldn't have done you the way I did, either." Gibbs shocked him even further .

Tim was left speechless. While he knew he deserved the apology, he never really believed he get one from the man. Now that he had, he didn't know what else to say or even how far to let the man off the hook or even if he should. What was even worse was knowing that he was staring at this golden opportunity to rip into the boss for everything and he couldn't do it. He was letting this chance slip through his fingers and felt powerless to stop it because he couldn't find the words that lay tauntingly just beyond his reach, all jumbled together in his head.

"C'mon, let's go sit down." Gibbs suggested encouragingly. He wanted Tim to loosen up enough to feel comfortable getting what ever he wanted to say, off his chest. From the posture the young man was holding in check now, it was pretty obvious the whole idea of talking to Gibbs at all, was stressing him out.

Following the boss to the bench, Tim sat at one end of it, his back straight with his hands down in his lap and his head straight with his eyes looking out over the water as he waited to hear what Gibbs had to say next.

Watching his agent settle in on the bench on the opposite end of it from him, Gibbs sighed and tried to pull his thoughts together. Although they'd never had this chance before; never made it happen either, he knew he had to stick it out; carry through with it until something had been accomplished, no matter how difficult it was. It was times like this that he found himself wishing he was better at this sort of thing, Hell, times like this he wished Ducky were somehow always around to help make sure he didn't screw it up! Inwardly scoffing at himself for the thought, he shook his head slightly to clear that crazy thought pattern and get back to the one that mattered.

"Still need to know why, Gibbs?" Tim announced unexpectedly into the silence that had gone on for too long.

"Why what, McGee?"

"Why would you tell Tony that everything he's ever done and continues to do is …?" Tim frowned as the shrill ring of the boss' cell phone interrupted him and with a look of regret, the man answered it immediately.

"Yeah, Gibbs…okay…be right there…grab McGe…" Gibbs stopped as Tim shook his head vigorously. "Just get Ducky and meet me in the lot." He corrected. Snapping his phone shut, he glared at his agent. Before he could even demand an explanation, Tim was giving him one.

"I'll be better able to help at my desk. Soon as you or Ziva call in what information you need, I can already be working on by the time you get back."

Angry now that his agent was tearing himself down while Gibbs was out here trying to iron things out and help things get back to normal, the Team Leader couldn't keep his tone from reflecting how he truly felt. "Better have an explanation for this when we get back, too, McGee."

Turning away to get to the agency fleet's lot, the older man failed to notice the pain in the young man's eyes at his own need to downgrade his availability and opportunity to do his job completely. He enjoyed being out in the field being useful on a case from the very beginning as much as the rest of them. It wasn't like he wanted to do this. He couldn't help it if he had enough sense to not open himself up to a single moment of being in close proximity with Tony, even in the back seat of a car while Ziva possibly rode shotgun all the way to a crime scene. Experience had taught him that even a minute alone with Tony while at a crime scene could prove to be too much if Tony happened to be in a bad mood, which he'd been in all day.

It felt very strange to realize that the most recent of experiences had given him what amounted to a free pass to handle himself as he saw fit around whomever he did or did not want to work closely with on the job. Gibbs had just silently given in to that point by not demanding that things be done his way and for that Tim was grateful. It seemed as though the boss man was genuinely trying to fix this mess. Tim couldn't ask for more than that from him and what's more, he knew that.

Angry enough at this untimely interruption, added with his new sense of anger at Tim's stubborn refusal to go out in the field with the team, had Gibbs nearly stomping his way to the car. What the hell else was gonna fall apart over this mess? Why the hell would Tim not want to come out in the field?

Seeing the less than happy expression on his Senior Field Agent's face as he reached the car caused Gibbs to frown even deeper. What the hell was wrong now? "Something bothering you, DiNozzo?" he asked in that tone that hadn't shed even half of his anger.

"Boss?" Tony asked in surprise. Was the man pissed at him for something?

"Is there a problem, Tony?" Now the older man's voice was bordering on sarcastic since he was once again, having to clarify himself and it was getting tiresome.

"Just wonderin' how long we're gonna be stuck waitin' on McTardy's behind." Tony smarted off.

"Get in the damn car." Gibbs bit out as he got behind the wheel and barely waited for Tony to get in the front before peeling out and driving toward the main gate of the yard. Ziva had already judged his mood correctly and remained silent as she got in the back behind the passenger seat before Gibbs had even spoken to the Senior Field Agent.

Tony swallowed hard. He'd rarely seen Gibbs this pissed lately, and it had been ages since the man's anger had been directed at him to this degree. Still, his own displeasure at the person who by all that seemed fair, should be sitting in the empty seat in the car, was driving him to push for the answer to his question. He'd never been very good at keeping his mouth shut when he should when he felt he was being wronged. "So, then Probie is?"

"Not here." Gibbs bit out.

"Well, yeah, I got that, but what I mea…." the younger man was determined if not playing with stupid, as he himself liked to say.

"Drop it, Tony." Ziva strongly suggested from her seat in the back.

"Wasn't aware I was asking you, Da'vid." Tony muttered sarcastically as he turned his head to look out the side window, his reflection showing the depth of his anger perfectly visible on the glass.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs warned from his place behind the wheel.

"Okay. Fine!" Tony muttered angrily as he laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, needing to mentally pull himself together. "Crap! Boss, Probie's got the fingerprint scanner thingy in his bag." The young man informed him plaintively.

"There is a spare in the Autopsy Van, Tony." Ziva informed him quietly, as she glanced at him.

"What? When did that happen?" Tony was surprised both that a spare had been approved for the agency; never mind requested. "How did you know that? Who ordered it?"

"Does it matter?" Ziva asked vaguely.

"Of course it matters, Ziva! I'm the Senior Field Agent and I wasn't even aware we had a spare mobile fingerprint scanner. Or that one had ever been requested. There's something wrong with that!"

"Maybe if you paid more attention to what goes on around you in the squad room instead of goofing off and playing pranks on people, you'd realize you're not the only one who can figure out what this team needs and how to put in a written request for it, DiNozzo." Gibbs spoke into the beginnings of what seemed to be an oncoming argument.

"Thought all requests from junior team members had to go through me." The younger man offered in self defense for not knowing about this before now.

"Get promoted without me knowing about it, did ya, DiNozzo? With a spearing glance sent at his Senior Field Agent, Gibbs lowered the younger man back down into his proper place on the totem pole, hoping this would be the end of this subject.

"No, Boss." Tony was quick to answer. "Of course not. Doesn't mean that's not part of my job description, though."

"Yeah?"

"Used to be, anyway."

"How many requests for items have you received from either myself or McGee Tony?" Ziva interrupted with the need to fulfill her curiosity of exactly what Tony's opinion of herself and their teammate was on the subject.

"None, since Kate…."

"Then you came up with this being your jurisdiction how exactly?" She taunted him.

"Let's just drop it." Tony muttered.

"Good idea." Gibbs replied with enough finality to his tone that it was immediately dropped by both of his agents, allowing silence to fill the air around them very quickly.

Sighing out loud in complete frustration, Gibbs found his eyes glancing over to the side mirror where he could usually see McGee sitting in the back, staring out the window or checking something on that tricky phone of his that could be used, it seemed, to pull up just about anything the kid wanted it to. Finding the spot empty brought him back to the dilemma he still needed to solve. If he could only get the answers to his questions, maybe he could solve the damn riddle that was Tim's decision and determination not to come out in the field with them today.

Flashing blue lights up ahead, on top of Metro's cars that were already on the scene dragged the Team Leader back to the here and now, no longer having the luxury of time to worry about his youngest agent – at the moment, at least. With no words being needed, Tony and Ziva quickly vacated the vehicle, both assigning themselves a task. Ziva picked up the camera while Tony snapped up the sketch pad, leaving the boss to do the talking since he'd have to fight out jurisdiction with Metro anyway.

******NCIS******

Two hours later found Team Gibbs returning to the squad room after they'd arrived back on the yard and delivered all collected evidence from the scene to Abby. Since the boss had instructed Ziva to call Tim with anything they needed him to get started searching for, they found the plasma screen already loaded with the information they'd be looking through in order to chase down any leads.

Without missing a beat, as soon as he entered the room, Tony immediately walked up to the front of the room and stopped in front of the screen and began reading information off it that he wanted the others to hear, his mind now completely immersed in the case, as it should have been. He didn't even waste any time looking around the room at the others. Finally, his focus while in the squad room, was back on the job.

For the next hour, not a single misplaced word or name or negative remark was made among them as the team slid back in synch with each other, pulling the case together, piece by piece, just like they usually did. Watching from his desk, Gibbs was both amazed and proud. He saw no problem now, with the exception of everything Tim refused to look at any of them, except for Ziva, every now and then.

With the fresh case to solve, his mind soon returned to it, not giving that situation another thought as he drove his team hard for the rest of the day, trying to get this case solved so the murderer wasn't roaming free. Throughout the day, he operated the same way he normally did, issuing orders and expecting results, sometimes even using either his angry or barking tones.

Not once did he hear a complaint or even see a negative facial expression in return. A lapse in progress some four hours later, lead him to pursue the need for a refill on his caffeine supply and to send Tim down to check on Abby in case she needed an extra pair of hands. He also chose that time to send Tony and Ziva home for the night with the standard warning that they go home and sleep in preparation for what was sure to be a long day tomorrow, Gibbs soon found himself alone in the squad room.

Fifteen minutes later, he was back in the now empty squad room, looking around at the desks of the agents who worked under him. He appreciated every one of them, truly he did. It was days like this that brought that fact home to him clearly. But it was mornings like the one they'd had this morning, that reminded him they were individuals who sometimes got stepped on and needed the others to back up and take a second look at what was going on. The clarity he had now was rare enough that he still felt as though he was watching someone else deal with the problem.

Then his eyes fell on Tim's desk and the young man's words from their disrupted conversation earlier in the day came back to him with vivid clarity.

_"Still need to know why, Gibbs?"_

_"Why what, McGee?"_

_"Why would you tell Tony that everything he's ever done and continues to do is …?"_

Suddenly, he felt the need to give Tim the chance to finish his question. The young man deserved answers; that much couldn't be argued with. Glad that he'd brought back a fresh cup of coffee for his youngest agent, he stopped off to get Abby her caf-pow and headed down to her lab to see how they were doing.

******NCIS******

"… to work around people you're still really upset with, Timmy." Abby was sympathizing when Gibbs' reached the corridor outside her lab entrance.

Not wanting to intrude or interrupt, he stayed where they couldn't see him but stayed to hear what his agent's response would be, since it was part of what he'd needed to talk to him about anyway. Maybe this would be easier on the young man that having to answer the same questions from the boss, whom he was still obviously uncomfortable talking to.

"I'm not that upset with them anymore, Abby; more like wary." Tim replied quietly. "Is that the last sample you need to run tonight?"

"Yeah. I've done the rest already. I'm glad you're feeling better about whatever this is about."

"Not what I said, Abby. I'm just not gonna let any part of this rip this team apart. We all worked hard to get where we are; a team that works well together. I'm not gonna be the one to screw that up."

"But don't you think refusing to go anywhere with Tony or even be in the same car with him is already changing things for the team?" Abby asked in confusion.

"That's the only exception and it's only because. I can't deal with his mouth right now. And it's not something that will change over night." Tim explained. "Now, please, can we drop this? I really don't want to be talking about any part of this, remember?"

"I remember. It's not likely that I'm gonna forget how upset you were at lunch the other day when I said I'd put all the pieces together. But, I also know my best friend and he deserves to be able to talk to someone about something when it's obviously hurting him so much." She tried to coax him into calming down about her questions.

"Thanks, Abby. Really. But, I meant what I said. I can't talk about. And I really don't want to anyway. Tim replied as he walked over to her and hugged her. "But, I really do appreciate your concern for me." Pulling her in close, he hugged her a little tighter than he'd done in a long time as he spoke quietly into her ear. " I really appreciate you keeping your word about not asking the others anything, too".

"Anytime, Timmy. You know that." She answered just as quietly into his shoulder before she pulled back from him a moment later to ask. "Hey, I heard Gibbs took the time to talk to you today! How'd that go?"

"Pretty good, actually. I think that's the first time he and I have ever had anywhere near that much of a conversation that didn't involve a case." Tim smiled softly as he remembered the boss' efforts and even his words.

"So, then you worked some things out with him? That why you're not so upset anymore?" She asked soothingly.

"Maybe one or two." Tim admitted with a rueful smile.

"That's all?" Abby asked in surprise. "With you no longer being upset, I thought that meant you'd worked through a lot of stuff."

"I think you're forgetting something here, Abbs." He smiled softly. "Not counting the one or two times the man's asked me if I'm alright, Gibbs and I have never talked about anything that wasn't case related or about someone else on the team."

"Oh, my God! Never?" She asked in shock. She couldn't imagine what it would be like not to have the close relationship with Gibbs that she had.

"Never. Not once in seven years." Tim's matter of fact tone twisted the knife that had at some point found it's way into Gibbs' heart.

"Oh. Wow. So, not a single steak dinner cooked over his fireplace grill, huh? Abby grinned, trying to throw some humor into it.

"The DiNozzo special treatment?" Tim asked almost calmly but with no matching grin.. "Nope."

"Does this mean you've never gone to his house to talk to him when you needed to?" She was no longer smiling since this not only wasn't funny but also had to hurt like hell, down deep and knowing that made her angry for him.

"Why would I do that, when every time I needed to talk about something, it was because I'd screwed up?" Tim questioned with a surprisngly fresh dose of guilt in his tone, as if he were still carrying the effect of those times with him down deep. "I didn't need to set myself up to hear more of his anger or disappointment. I already felt it every time he'd glare at me or go the whole day not speaking to me."

"Oh, Timmy."

"Besides, the only time I've ever been to his house was when he needed the team's help to clear Director Shepherd 's name with the frog.

"Timmy, that's so sad. How could you never have been able to go to him when you needed to talk to him?"

Tim smiled softly. "It's okay, Abbs. I'm used to it now, Anything different would just be downright scary or at the very least, unnerving, I think."

"Well, I don't like it. But I guess I can understand why you'd feel that way. That's why you're not upset that you didn't get more hashed out with him today?" Abby asked quietly as she wrapped her arms around his middle and leaned into him to hold him tight.

"Even I know better than to expect miracles the first time we've ever talked, just because he's somehow more gotten more objective when it comes to me." Tim chuckled softly before laying his head down gently on top of hers for a brief moment.

Gibbs had heard enough, soundlessly he left the corridor and retraced his steps back the way he came, his vision suddenly blurry and his heart laying in pieces at his feet.


	13. Chapter 13

Too pissed to be decent company tonight, not to mention, way too angry at his boss to even be around him right now, Tony drove around for hours before giving up on the aimless wandering idea and driving himself home. Once there he dragged himself up to his apartment, slammed the door behind himself as he kicked off his shoes and threw himself down on his couch, punching the speed dial number for his favorite pizza joint. They knew him there; knew him so well, all he had to do was say his name and they knew exactly how to fix his pizza. The fact that they always made sure it was delivered to his door within 25 minutes was a much appreciated added bonus.

Mindlessly punching buttons on his remote after tossing his phone down on his coffee table, Tony let out a huge sigh as he flopped back against the back of his couch, watching his television flicker to life as the booming sound of the already airing episode of Magnum P.I. filled the air around him. Turning the volume down, Tony let his arm drop down beside him, his hand comfortably resting on the couch, allowing the remote to slide from his grip onto the couch next to him. Closing his eyes, he found a measure of peace behind his eye lids where no one was glaring at him or deliberately ignoring him or worse, looking at him with abject disappointment.

_Damn it!_ He wiped a tired hand across his face in complete frustration. He may not be seeing those things but that didn't mean he wasn't still feeling their affect. _Hell, he couldn't stop thinking about it for five damn minutes_! _Three months!_ That's all he and Gibbs had had together and _damn it, he'd been so sure they'd have a hell of a lot longer together than this! This hurt!_ _This hurt so bad, Tony didn't think he'd ever forgive Probie for this_. This was worse than anything he'd ever done to prank Tim with because this was real and this was supposed to have been for keeps and this wasn't something that was ever supposed to be known to anyone else because this was Tony's one place in life where no one could or would hurt him.

_And what about Gibbs? Didn't the man deserve to be happy? Didn't he deserve to be with someone he wanted to be with; someone he'd found peace and happiness and even pleasure with? What right to McGee have to take that away from the silver haired former Marine who'd already been beaten down by life and in more painful ways than any one man deserved to be?_

Suddenly, Tony was no longer hungry as his anger had been ignited by his thoughts and was now red hot and in need of quenching before it raged out of control. Oddly enough, he wasn't even pissed at Gibbs anymore. In fact, his anger at the man had morphed into concern and sympathy and even anger on his behalf. Snapping up the remote, he turned everything off before surging to his feet and stuffing his feet back into his shoes. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he walked to the door and snapped it open; coming face to face with the pizza delivery kid.

"Sorry, Pete, Forgot." Tony admitted to the now shocked young man holding out Tony's pizza. " That's okay, I'll take it with me. Here ya go, keep the change." Tony offered as he handed the young man twenty dollars for his ten dollar pizza. "I'll even walk out with ya."

Getting behind the wheel of his car a few minutes later, Tony took a minute to calm down as he watched Pete drive away. With the effort to be calm about this so he wouldn't make things worse, he headed out, wanting to make sure his lover was okay. He'd been selfish in not checking on him after the day they'd had and he was determined to make up for that now.

Twenty minutes later found him parked in Gibbs' driveway and hurridly walking to the house, stepping quietly inside and closing the door. This time, for some unexplainable reason, he felt led to lock it behind him. Once he'd done that, he toed off his shoes and headed up the stairs because, after all it was nearly one in the morning and the man was already in bed by now.

Reaching the man's bedroom, Tony was surprised to find it empty. Not only was he surprised, but he was worried now, too. Retracing his steps, he headed to the living room, only to find it empty as well. Finally, he headed to the basement, feeling in his gut that this last place to look would give Tony what he was searching for. Sure enough, as Tony stood at the top of the stairs looking down into the basement, he found his lover. At the sight of what Gibbs was doing, however, Tony felt an unspeakable anger rise up within him and he quietly backed away, went back to the front entry way to put his shoes back on and slipped back out the door, needing to leave before he said or did something they'd both regret.

******NCIS******

After a night of dreamless sleep, Tim felt rested and even calm about facing another day. Maybe it was because somehow after talking with Abby last night about the mess from Friday night – without actually talking about the mess itself, he felt better about his view on things and even about his hardline decisions regarding Tony. Although he still felt like he'd been betrayed and his reasons for feeling that way had not changed, he was beginning to feel like everything else was finally getting better. It was with a wry smile that he realized it had taken this mess and the depths of emotion it had thrown him into for his relationship with Abby to improve to this level. That was one change he was more than happy to see happen. He smiled for a moment as he headed out of the elevator on the squad room floor with a spring in his step.

A sleepless night had Gibbs more cranky than usual but surprisingly more calm than usual as well, as if he were more upset with himself than with anyone else. His silence when greeted by his team spoke to that probability and left his three agents with no doubt that they would need to walk on eggs for at least part of the day.

Ziva seemed to be in a calm yet cheerful mood which was no different than usual. However, he more frequent than typical glances across the room to Tim spoke of her continuing concern for him. Keeping her concern in check, she silently settled into her work without disturbing anyone's peace and quiet.

They still had a case to solve and there was still work to be done and so the morning progressed with no further disruption as they focused as they needed to, on the case. Four hours and countless moments of case centered conversation and debates later, Tony felt his stomach tense up from hunger. While trying to solve the case and put it to bed had kept them all focused, he was grateful for the excuse to break away. Without a word to anyone, once the word had come from the boss to break for lunch, Tony disappeared quicker than almost any of them had noticed.

The rest of the day passed in much the same way, with everyone focused soley on the case. With more cooperation and progress from his agents than he'd seen in a long time, Gibbs was able to keep them working until at least that night. Finally, when he glanced around at each of them for the first time in an hour and took in how tired they really were, he sent them home with strict instructions to get plenty of sleep.

******NCIS******

In an almost exact repeat of the previous night, Tony found himself going home first but ultimately going to Gibbs' to check on the man and hopefully spend some time with him. Arriving there at about the same time as the previous night, he was once again, upset to see his lover not sleeping, but down in his basement and like the night before, Tony simply backed away and left, going back home even angrier than he'd been the night before.

Tim also had a night similar to the one he'd had the night before, peaceful and deliberately without thought of anything to do with Tony or Gibbs. Although he'd given up writing on the L.J. Tibbs series of books for plenty of reasons, he was slowly but steadily working on a new project that remained a tightly kept secret from everyone else in his life since he was unwilling to go through anything like he'd gone through the first and second times his books had become public knowledge. As the nighttime hours passed, he found himself able to reasonably balance his project hours and even email chats with Abby with enough sleep to not feel tired the next day.

Abby found herself starting to stop going out looking for a party or a concert to pass the nighttime hours away; choosing instead, to stay home and get more sleep but also have pleasant email conversations with her best friend and even spend some time on an online game or two for the second night in a row. All in all, she was beginning to feel more rested aft

Ziva found herself still worried albeit less seriously, about her friend, Tim McGee but unwilling to disturb him since he appeared to have gotten whatever was bothering him to a place where he was able to deal with whatever had upset him so and go on with his days. She was not one to mess with that since she, herself was well practiced in the art of rearranging her thoughts and feelings just to be able to get past the horrors of her past and move on to becoming someone who could be happy and find love and a purpose in life that wasn't about killing.

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs found himself spending a second night in his basement, unable to sleep. He couldn't seem to find any sense in Tony's absolute conviction that it was McGee fault for the mess they weren't even going to be able to sort through at the way things were going. It also troubled him that for the second night in a row, his lover hadn't come over, since it had become part of their routine to spend at least a couple of hours each night after work, together at Gibbs' house where they could sit and relax or spend those hours otherwise.

The fact that Tony wasn't here spoke volumes of just how pissed off the younger man really was and that was part of what was just so troubling to the older man. He worried that Tony was on a path of self-destruction, but also knew it wouldn't do any good to talk to him until he came looking for a willing ear to hear him out. Although it was really hard to wait it out, Gibbs knew he had no choice.

Over the past three months, Tony had become comfortable with talking to Gibbs about almost everything that would cross his mind, even if it didn't make sense at the time. That had been the endearing part that had begun to grow on the older man. Now, obviously, Tony had stepped back from that comfort and chosen to go it alone; or at least without Gibbs to hear him out and help him work through whatever was on his mind. It seemed as though the repercussions of the events from Friday night were going to follow them for quite a while.

******NCIS******

The rest of the week passed by in much the same way as Monday and Tuesday with nothing new happening and nothing going on, other than the continuing coldness between Tim and Tony. By the middle of the afternoon on Friday, the team was becoming exhausted and beginning to feel the strain of Tim and Tony's estrangement. While they worked well enough together in the squad room while working on cases, it had become blatantly obvious that that teamwork was only working when someone else was in the room with them. Ziva found it alarming that this was continuing while Gibbs merely acted as if it were normal.

While he hadn't made any move to push Tim to talk after hearing the young man tell Abby that any change in the dynamics between the two of them would seem off or worrisome, Gibbs still had every intention of talking to the young man, just not until things had settled down more at work or until he figured out what he should say – whichever came first.

He'd watched Tony carefully although inconspicuously all week. The young man was increasingly angry every day, yet refusing to look Gibbs straight on or even speak to him. It was even worse when the interaction involved Tony and McGee, being downright cold in nature.

Tony glanced around at his team members while he, himself nearly seethed with anger as his eyes came to the man whos desk was closest to his own. After watching Ziva's countless glances of concern in that direction all week long and seeing McGee actually look almost happy this and every other morning, the Senior Field Agent had had just about enough. Tossing down his pen, he stood from his chair and stalked from the room, muttering under his breath deliberately as he passed Ziva's desk. "Goin' for coffee"

Surprisingly enough, in five short minutes, Tony was back at his desk looking no less angry but silently got back to work anyway. No one seemed to notice, for all the attention they paid him upon his arrival, which only served to anger him more.

Not wanting anything made of Tony's little scene while the team was in the midsts of making phone calls and running more searches for more clues to their case, Gibbs left the situation alone, keeping peace and the flow of work, uninterrupted for the team. He felt a sliver of pride when neither of his already working agents allowed themselves to become distracted by Tony's antics or his return to the squad room a few minutes later.

******NCIS******

"Anthony, my dear boy, what brings you to me on this fine afternoon?" Ducky asked jovially as the younger man sauntered in through Autopsy's swooshing doors at the end of the day.

"Hey, Ducky." Tony greeted almost sorrowfully. "Got a minute?"

"Why certainly. Our most recent guest has been given our best accommodations and will not need to make reappearance unless an unforeseen problem arises." The M.E. answered conversationally. "I understand from Mr. Palmer that you were looking for me earlier this morning. I do apologise for not being here when needed me."

"It's alright, you're here now." Tony shrugged nonchalantly as his eyes searched the room for any sign of the Autopsy Gremlin.

"If you're looking for the young Mr. Palmer, I have sent him to lunch and I have instructed him to take a full hour for the occasion, since he has completed his morning tasks without wasting any time or leaving anything out.

Tony smirked. "Have trouble doing that does he?"

"Only on most days." Ducky quipped in return, his smirk matching Tony's for a minute. "Come to think of it, young man, he reminds me a lot of you."

"Ouch." Tony replied evenly. "Not sure that's a comparison I can appreciate, Doc."

Ducky chuckled. "Yes, well, I simply call them as I see them, I'm afraid."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"I see. Shall we retire to my office for a bit of privacy for this conversation, then?"

"That would be great, Ducky. Thanks" Tony replied carefully, as he started walking in that direction.

Closing the door behind himself as he followed Tony into the office, Ducky waited until Tony was sitting down in the chair by the desk before he too took a seat and waited for the young man to begin.

"You and I both know Gibbs pretty well, woudn't you say, Ducky?"

"Yes, I can say that much is true, I suppose, although I cannot truly speak to just how well it is that you do know him, Anthony."

"How long have you known?"

"Known?"

"C'mon, Ducky, I know you know."

"And how is it that you've come to know such a thing, dear boy?"

"I know you and there's no way you wouldn't know by now. There's very little that gets by you – just like with Gibbs."

"Meaning what exactly, Anthony?"

"C'mon, Ducky! I need your help here!"

"Well, I shall attempt to aid you in whatever it is you need my help with, but that does not mean I am in the practice of putting words into anyone's mouth."

Tony sighed heavily as he stood to his feet and began pacing. "Alright. I know that you know about Gibbs and I."

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"I knew it!. I'm not even gonna ask how you found out. That's not important right now." Tony replied in agitation. "What's important is helping me figure out what we're gonna do about that meddling McGee!"

"Anthony, what exactly has Timothy done to you that has you this upset with him? I understand from Ziva that things have become quite intolorably tense between the two of you."

"You could say that." Tony replied with a touch of sarcasm. "McPain in the ass won't even go out in the field with the team now."

"And from Timothy's decision to limit the opportunites you might be presented with to give him a hard time throughout the day, that you've deduced that he is meddling in yours and Jethro's relationship?" Ducky asked sadly.

"Well, yeah." Tony answered as if his deductive reasoning was right on the money. "McWhiner talk to you didn't he? That's why you know why he insisted on staying here any time we've been called out or gone out after leads."

"Honestly, Anthony!" Ducky protested with more than a tough of anger. "Timothy does not speak of such things and as his teammate and someone who is supposed to have been his friend as well, for the past seven years I would think you were already well aware of that. I simply put the information that you just provided me with together with what I know of Timothy's character, along with what I know of your oftentimes troubled relationship with him."

Tony continued to pace, "Sorry, Ducky, I'm just ticked at McGee right now, I'm not thinkin' straight."

"I do believe that is the truth. Tell me, young man, what is it exactly young Timothy has done to you to get you so angry with him, if I might ask?"

"I warned Gibbs that this would happen! I knew it!"

"Anthony, please! What is it that you knew would happen?" Ducky pushed impatiently.

"Gibbs doesn't want me anymore. He hasn't said two words to me all week! I warned Gibbs that this would happen when McGee first found out! Told him I'd never forgive McGee if it did and I meant it. I will _never_ forgive McGee for this." Tony declared angrily, his eyes shining brightly with anger.

"Oh, dear heavens! However did you come to that conclusion? Have you spoken to Jethro about where things are between you?" Ducky asked sadly.

"He's not the talkin' type, remember? Besides, I don't need to. Actions speak louder than words for all of us and ever since he' talked to McWhiner on Monday, Gibbs has gone home every night and…." Here Tony finally stopped pacing and took a deep breath and slowly let it out as he wiped a hand across his face.

"He what, Anthony?" Ducky asked impatiently. "Good heavens, if he's doing something harmful to himself you must tell me."

Tony shook his head. "Worse, Ducky."

"What on earth could be worse than him hurting himself, Anthony?"

Tony began pacing again, this time not answering the M.E's question.

"Anthony! What has Jethro been doing that has you so upset?" Ducky asked loudly, angry now.

"Ducky, he's building another boat!"


	14. Chapter 14 Ducky and Tony talk

_"Anthony! What has Jethro been doing that has you so upset?"  
"Ducky, he's building another boat!"_

The M.E. was speechless for only a moment before he walked over to Tony and placed a calming hand on the younger man's shoulder, stopping the frenetic pacing abruptly. "Anthony, listen to me for a moment, would you please?"

Tony nodded silently, his head nearly down to his chest in defeat as his hands unclenched at his sides.

"I realize by your reaction to this, that you understand the significance of Jethro building yet another boat. You and I both know is his outlet for his emotions and the way in which he is able to think on things when he is truly and deeply upset or in need of some serious personal time to think on things. Am I correct when I say that the reason this is so upsetting to you is because you believe this means he is so bothered and upset about Timothy's discovery of your relationship and the changes that discovery has wrought for your team that he has chosen to retreat to his boat and this boat has replaced you in his life?"

Tony nodded, his face suddenly traitorously wet. Angrily wiping at the errant tear that escaped his control, he turned away from the very observant older man.

"You must be prepared to look inside yourself and find that which has become blinded by this consuming fear of losing Jethro. Let go of that fear, dear boy and look hard at that which has been left unresolved because of it."

"Ducky, what are you talking about?" Tony asked more quietly than he'd spoken in a long time.

"What I am talking about, dear boy, is the fear you found yourself feeling the moment you realized Timothy discovered you and Jethro together. That fear has overtaken your better judgement and even your sound reasoning within your personal life. For instance. I know perfectly well, that you have come to think of young Timothy as the younger brother you never had, yet you have not spent a single moment worrying about how what he discovered might have affected him, have you?"

"Gibbs and I spent four hours looking for him that night, Ducky." Tony protested. "Four hours that were wasted because the guy didn't wanna be found! Hell, he even turned off his phone that night!"

"And since then?" prompted the M.E. as he purposefully and pointedly ignored the criticisms Tony threw at Tim. "Have you spent a single moment being concerned at how he is learning to cope with what this might mean for him?

"Well, no." Tony admitted quietly. "I've kinda had a lot on my plate, ya know?"

"Oh, I understand, young man, truly I do. The question is, do you?"

"Do I understand that I've had a lot going on and haven't had time to worry about him?" Tony smarted back. "Yeah, Ducky I do."

"Do you understand that until you are ready to look at this from Timothy's perspective, you cannot expect things to improve between yourself and Jethro and that as unlikely as you believe it to be; the struggle you are having with yourself about Timothy is very troubling indeed to the man who is Team Leader to you both?" The M.E. asked almost tenderly.

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it back out, Ducky went on. "Jethro may be in an intimate relationship with you, Anthony, but that does not remove him from feeling responsible and caring for Timothy as an individual and as a valued member of his team."

When the M.E. paused once more to give Tony time to take in what he was saying, Tony could only nod silently as the words hit home. It wasn't but a mere few seconds later that the older man proved he wasn't done sharing what he wanted Tony to hear.

"Furthermore, if I were to hazard a guess, I would have to say that as a result of the recent events, Jethro has in all likelihood, also come to realize that Timothy truly is like a son to him; one that he has repeatedly misjudged and treated wrongly on more than one occasion over the years, as have you. Jethro is fully aware that he allowed you to treat Timothy in that fashion. I don't imagine those facts are too easy to swallow, without some sort of outlet for thinking about how to go about setting things to rights, or at the very least, attempting to do so." Ducky shared quietly as he watched Tony take in what he was saying,

"So then, all of this is my fault?" Tony asked roughly as his eyes sought the truth from those of the compassionate and wiser older man.

"Not at all, Anthony." Ducky reassured him quickly. "There is just so much involved here that you are not taking into consideration that it has tainted your view on the matter because you have embraced that fear completely, I'm afraid."

"Like what? What else am I missing, Ducky?" Tony's question seemed almost a desperate grasp at what he couldn't reach himself.

"The look on Timothy's face when he found you and Jethro together Friday night, is a rather large part of this situation that you aren't seeing, Anthony." Ducky shared with him sadly.

"What about it? I saw his face." Tony argued. "Hell, I looked right at him!"

"From what I understand of the situation, Anthony, you were not in the right state of mind at that moment to fully comprehend what you were seeing when you did look at him." Ducky gently admonished his way of thinking. "You have not had the understanding of what that look in his eyes truly explained of how Timothy perceived what he walked into."

Tony blushed and looked away, not willing to address that point. After a minute of silence, Tony managed to offer one last objection to the idea of being responsible for Gibbs' mental unrest and need to start building another boat. "So then what you're telling me is that the reason Gibbs has started building another boat is because he's pissed at me for not getting all this and he hasn't been able to talk to me about it?"

"Not entirely, I'm sure." Ducky answered with all seriousness. "Jethro is too private a person not to have other reasons tied up into this as well. Reasons, neither of us are privy too, in all likelihood."

"I don't understand why he couldn't just talk to me about it; whatever his reasons are." Tony lamented sadly. "I mea….."

"Haven't exactly made it easy to do that, DiNozzo." Gibbs voice came from the doorway.


	15. Chapter 15

_"I don't understand why he couldn't just talk to me about it; whatever his reasons are. I mea….."  
"Haven't exactly made it easy to do that, DiNozzo."_

Ducky turned to the doorway and smiled softly at his long-time friend.

Exchanging understanding glances with the M.E. Gibbs looked directly at his agent as he suggested quietly but still managing to make it an order not to be argued with. "C'mon, let's go get some coffee

Tony nodded without replying but stopped to pat Ducky on the arm. "Thank you, Ducky."

"You're quite welcome, Anthony." The M.E. replied openly as the youngest of the three men smiled softly and then silently slipped past the man standing sideways in the doorway and continued walking until he'd left through Autopsy's swooshing doors.

"Thanks, Duck." Gibbs offered solemnly.

"You are also quite welcome, my friend. I am relieved I could be of some help in the matter." Ducky offered in his most sympathetic of tones.

"More than you know, Duck. More than you know." Gibbs admitted quietly before nodding his affirmation and turning to follow out after his still troubled agent and lover.

Accompanying Tony to the sign out entry for the agency, Gibbs remained silent as everything he'd overheard just now replayed itself in his head. At least now, Tony's behavior made sense. Hell even McGee's unfinished question from their very brief conversation the other day seemed to be finished in his head now, thanks to Ducky's insight. His two agents would remain at cold hard odds with each other unless Gibbs intervened, it seemed. But, that could wait, at least until he had a chance to try to talk to Tim again to see if the young man would open up a little more about where he stood with Tony and the need to fix or at least work at fixing things. Hell, who was he kidding – the first thing he needed to do was give Tony time to come around to stop blaming McGee for any of this.

Even more importantly, at this very moment, was for he and Tony to work out where their relationship was because until that was out in the open between them, Tony would continue to let his anger towards Tim build and grow hotter and more out of control every day. That was something Gibbs would not let happen. It had to be stopped today before any more time was wasted not doing something about it. Still contemplating everything he'd taken in since this mess had started, the Team Leader silently led the way to his car, still mute as he unlocked it and got in, waiting for Tony to do the same.

Tony was numb as he followed Gibbs out to the parking garage, his mind feeling like he'd just stepped through a time machine. Here he was checking out of work in the middle of the workday and with Gibbs no less. They'd never done this once in the entire three months they'd been involved because neither one of them had wanted to risk starting a habit they couldn't curtail and Gibbs was a lot more conscientious than Tony had even realized; refusing to do such a thing while the work day wasn't done so this new development was unsettling to say the least.

As he got into Gibbs' car, Tony slid a glance over to the long silent man, managing to crack a small smile when his eyes met those beautiful cobalt blue ones he hadn't known were watching him. Nervously, he looked away as he scoffed at himself before admitting his thought out loud. "You're pissed at me."

"You know better than that." Gibbs answered quietly. There was never any cause for one of them to be pissed at the other for giving their inner most feelings a voice. That had been established several months ago and while it rarely came up, this incident was no different.

Tony nodded, "Yeah." He admitted in the same quiet tone, obviously uncomfortable with his own predicament now.

The older man was content to let the silence that had settled between them, remain. He knew Tony needed to think on what Ducky had told him because the M.E. had certainly given the Senior Field Agent more than enough to chew on. It wasn't ever easy for Tony to admit he was wrong. That was one of those things he had in common with Gibbs and the older man was well aware of it, choosing to let Tony lead the conversation where he needed it to go instead of forcing any issue involved.

As they arrived in Gibbs' driveway and the older man shut off the car, Tony breathed out a sigh of regret. "Ducky was right, wasn't he?"

"He usually is." Gibbs replied as his old friend's words he'd just walked in timely enough to hear, came back to him now.

_... because you believe this means he is so bothered and upset about Timothy's discovery of your relationship and the changes that discovery has wrought for your team that he has chosen to retreat to his boat and this boat has replaced you in his life?"_

Watching his lover get lost in his thoughts for a moment did nothing for Tony's own paper-thin hold on the mask hiding his inner self; the one he never shared with the rest of the world for fear of being left exposed and vulnerable. He'd made an art form of keeping his two selves separated for fear the real Tony DiNozzo that needed to be cared about and needed in return as much as the next person, would be an easy mark for those who found his outer self to abrasive and in need of being taken down a peg or two.

With a harshly exhaled breath, Tony got out of the car and headed towards the house, leaving Gibbs behind, still sitting in the car. As he stepped inside the house, he kicked off his shoes and headed for the kitchen, straight for the refrigerator, desperately needing a cold beer right about now.

Brought back to the present by the car door closing behind Tony's retreating back, Gibbs was quick to make it to the house just a half-dozen steps behind the younger man, not wanting his agent to think his first impulse was the right one. Sure enough as Tony pulled a beer from the refrigerator, the older man almost smirked at the predictability behind the action, even as he quickly spoke calmly against it.

"Make it coffee, Tony."

"C'mon, Gibbs!" The younger man protested at half his normal volume.

"Not open for debate. Got a lot to talk about." Gibbs used his role as boss just enough to pull Tony over this first speed bump of the afternoon.

"Damn!" Tony muttered as he put the beer back and snagged a six pack of cokes out instead, turning tail and heading to the living room to drop down onto the couch, suddenly needing the comfort of sitting in one of his favorite places in the house.

With a soft shake of his head, the older man took the necessary time to brew himself a much needed pot of coffee before filling up a carafe with it and taking it with him as he led the way out to the back yard. He knew Tony well enough to know that the young man would need the air to breathe in as well as the yard to pace as he got things off his chest.

Huffing out a breath in exasperation, Tony hauled himself up off the couch and followed in his lover's wake. As they both settled into the comfortable lawn chairs under the shade of the umbrella that hung over the table, Tony began to feel as if he were jumping from the pan into the fire and his breathing began to come less than steady. Almost as if on autopilot, he launched himself from the chair, down the back porch steps and out into the yard, where he began to pace as if trying to outrun his thoughts.

From the porch, the older man watched silently as he let Tony handle this however it came to him. Delving beneath the surface of the façade of calm and collected they always wore was never easy for either of them, but this time it was a necessary evil they both had to endure. Maybe they'd do it right and they'd both actually come out better for having done it when all was said and done.

Finally, after several long tense moments watching Tony wear the same stretch of grass, into a walking path where he didn't need one, the Team Leader took a chance at starting things off between them. "Talk to me, Tony."

The sound of Gibbs quiet encouragement along with the use of his given name, seemed to snap the younger man out of his pacing, bringing him to a sudden stand still, directly in front of the man who'd been patiently waiting for him to pull his head out.

"You said Ducky was right." Tony finally spoke as he took a seat on the top step and turned so his back was against the railing and he could face the older man while they talked.

"I said he usually is."

"You didn't say he wasn't."

Gibbs left the obvious unspoken and waited for Tony to start working his way to whatever heart of the matter happened to be for himself.

"I don't get why you're not pissed at McGee. We couldn't find him or even get ahold of him Friday night. He's been acting high and mighty all week; throwing this power you've for some unknown reason given him, around like he runs the place now, deciding for himself whether or not he goes out in the field with us? And he's been ignoring you and me all week!"

"Anything else?" Gibbs asked seriously.

"What?" Tony asked in surprise mixed with uncertainty.

"What else are you pissed at Tim about?" The older man asked with unusual patience, making sure to use the other man's given name.

He knew he didn't do it enough and needed to improve on that. But he also knew that Tony needed a sharp reminder that Tim was just like the rest of them – in need of being treated with common decency and the respect he'd earned long ago, not to mention a whole lot more respect for the way he'd handled this mess that the poor kid hadn't even been responsible for. But that was a conversation that needed to wait until things between the two younger men were back on more solid footing.

"Everything's so….different now." Tony answered sadly.

"And you think Tim's responsible." Gibbs reasoned for clarity's sake,

"Well yeah, but I'm guessing by your tone and all the times you sided with him this week, that you don't."

"Answer me one question, Tony."

"Okay."

"What has he done that makes him responsible? And responsible for what, exactly?"

"Ah, technically, that's two questions, Gibbs." Tony stalled as he mentally worked to find the answers underneath the mountain of stuff thrown together in his head.

"Yeah? What answers do you have?"

"Cmon, Gibbs! You know what he's responsible for! He ruined one of the most incredible moments of my life; of our relationship Friday night – then – as if that wasn't bad enough, he costs us four hours later that night by deliberately being where we couldn't find him or even reach him! The rest of the weekend went to hell in a hand basket! What el…"

"Did it?" Gibbs interrupted with a soft note of correction.

"Did it what?"

"That's not exactly the way I remember that weekend."

Tony looked away as he realized he'd just admitted to forgetting the wonderful time they'd spent in each other's company most of that Saturday. "Even you have to admit we've been drifting apart over this since Sunday, Gibbs. Hell, even Saturday morning was almost a splitting point and you know it was."

"That what this is about? You're pissed because I couldn't just ignore Tim finding us together the way he did or how it might have affected him?"

"Gibbs, you've barely slept since Friday night! You won't talk to me about what's going on in your head – and…"

"Not in the habit of chasing after anyone, Tony."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"If you wanted to talk – all you had to do was walk through the door and tell me so."

"Wasn't good company."

"All week?"

"Hey, I came over – twice!"

"When was that exactly, Tony?"

"It was late, almost one."

"Pretty late to expect a conversation, don'tcha think?"

"Had a lot on my mind."

"There a reason you didn't say anything when you got here?"

"I would think that was pretty obvious."

"Ah, yeah. The boat. You decided breaking one of my rules was a better idea than talking to me about it."

"That's not fair, Gibbs.

"You took the easy way out, Tony."

"EASY? The one thing coming here and finding you starting to build another boat when you told me you had no need to do that anymore, was NOT – was easy!" Tony denied angrily. "How could you think it was?"

"I think you didn't bother to ask me about it because you might have heard something you weren't ready to hear."

"Oh, you mean like _'We're done because poor little ole McGee is jealous now that he knows about us?'_ You're damn right I wasn't ready to hear that! I warned you I wouldn't be."

"That what you think I was gonna say? You have so little trust in me, Tony?" Gibbs asked softly even as his eyes clouded with a flicker of hurt.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Tony denied quickly. "Gibbs, no! I trust you – completely. I do it's just..."

"But you thought that the first thing that came to your mind meant you had it all figured out - which gave you something else to blame Tim for."

"Well, yeah, kinda…sorta…"

"Just wish you'd have asked me about it instead."

"Gibbs, you told me those boats …."

"Not a replacement for you, Anthony." The older man interjected soothingly as he stepped up to his lover. "Meant it when I said I didn't need _that_ outlet anymore."

"Then…?"

" Needed something to focus on while I tried to figure out how to fix what's been broken on my team, Tony. Still do."

"Gibbs. I… "

"Spend a minute in his shoes, Tony. Turn this around and tell me how you'd feel if you'd walked in on Tim and I –in _that _moment - if we'd kept it a secret from you for three months– while treating you like crap at work for no reason."

"Okay, I get it. Really, I do. Tony admitted. "But, it sounds like you don't think he's done anyth…."

"What he _has_ done, Tony – is handle it with dignity and respect – for our privacy and his own right not to be humiliated. Gotta respect him a hell of a lot for that."

"So he hasn't said anything to _anyone_?" Tony asked in surprise.

"Nope. Disappointed you would think he would. Should know him better than that by now."

"God, I've been such an ass to him." Tony muttered guiltily.

"Yeah, ya have."

"Gee, Thanks, Gibbs."

"Can't argue with the truth, Tony. Question is, what are you gonna do about it?"

"You've seen how he's been towards me – won't give me the time of day"

"Never stopped you before."

"Never exactly been in this situation before, Gibbs."

"I know. Gonna let that stop ya?"

"No." Tony replied as if he were announcing it to the world. "No, I'm not. DiNozzo's don't lay down and play dead like this!"

"Didn't think so." Gibbs smirked as he wrapped an arm around the younger man's shoulder and pulled him into a one armed hug.

Laying his head down on his lover's shoulder, Tony offered what he hoped was an olive branch. "I didn't really forget about Saturday, ya know. There's no way I ever could – it was one of my most memorable days ever."

"I know." The older man reassured him before kissing him on the temple. "C'mon, let's go work on finding some solutions."

"Me work on the boat? Uhm, not sure that's such a good idea, Gibbs."

"Ah, You'll survive." Gibbs smirked. "Not sure about the boat, though."


	16. Chapter 16

Two hours later and Gibbs looked over at the younger man for the umpteenth time since they'd started working on the newest boat together. In the time they'd been working on this, using the repetitive and calming motions of their hands as one guided a planer and the other, the sandpaper, in the direction of the wood grain; Tony had appeared to be spending more time frozen in place, thinking about something than he had actually spent letting the task help him think as he worked. Finally, Gibbs couldn't stand it any longer, worried that the younger man was working up to something that wasn't going to help him sort through the mess.

Putting his planer down gently on the boat, he approached the young man, stopping beside him as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey. You alright?"

"Hmm?" Oh, Yeah." Tony answered automatically as he blinked and came back to the here and now with a twinge of embarrassment. "Sorry." The young man went through the motions of working on the boat again until he felt the older man's roughened, yet gentle hands cover his own and apply enough pressure to stop his motions.

"Tony. You don't have to do this."

Breathing out a huge sigh of relief, Tony let go of the sandpaper and gently withdrew his hands out from underneath those of the Team Leader. "Okay." He breathed out, grateful for the out. " 'Cause I'm pretty sure whatever it does for you - it's not workin' for me."

"Talk to me." The older man encouraged as he leaned back against the boat next to Tony. "What's runnin' through that head of yours?"

"Can't stop thinkin' about what you said. What if it _had_ been me standing in McGee's place Friday night?" Tony admitted. "Not that it ever **would** have been; I mean, c'mon, boss, you and the geek? Really?"

Gibbs reached up and delivered a strong smack to the back of Tony's head.

"Thank you, Boss. I think I really needed that." Tony admitted.

"I know. Come up with anything?" Gibbs relentlessly pushed him on.

"The need for some air." Tony answered with a straight face.

"Call me i …." The older man started to request.

"If I need ya, got it." The younger man interrupted knowingly. "Trust me, I will."

Gibbs combed Tony's hair back off his face with his fingers in a gesture of intimacy they both enjoyed . "Go on." Kissing him almost chastely on the lips, he stepped back and let him go.

With a small half smile of appreciation in return, Tony hoofed it up the stairs, desperate for some fresh air and the chance to breathe. _Had his lover just sent him mixed messages? Tenderness one moment and pulling back the next?_ On top of everything else, this new development left Tony reeling. Blinking to clear his thoughts, he refocused on his bigger problem at the moment.

This whole situation with his teammate was beginning to feel suffocating; the rising tide of guilt nearly dragging him under anytime he stopped to think about what he done – treating McGee like he was solely responsible for everything that had gone wrong. Hell, if he'd been the one to stumble across the boss and McGee in the throes of one of the most intimate moments that could ever happen in a relationship, he'd probably been screaming about how it wasn't right and how there was something wrong with that picture.

It left him facing himself in the mental mirror and he didn't like who he saw looking back. Gibbs and Ducky were right. Between the two of them, they'd woken Tony up to the realization that he had allowed the fear of losing Gibbs over of this, affect his judgment and now he barely recognized himself. _Where was the Tony DiNozzo who had his teammate's backs? What happened to his protectiveness towards the young man who would always and forever be his probie? When had the fear replaced his sense of common decency towards his friend and little brother? What happened to the Tony DiNozzo that would tease and pull pranks yet never intentionally hurt his teammate, at least knowingly?_

As if those questions weren't tormenting him enough, he also couldn't shake the one that asked how he could have handled this without asking Gibbs to talk to him about it to begin with. _Was that why the man seemed to be withdrawing from him now? _Snagging his gym bag off the floor by the front door, Tony left out, needing some serious time to think.

*****NCIS******

Gibbs had no idea how long it had been since Tony had gone out; not only because he hadn't checked the time when the younger man had taken off; but also, because he hadn't been watching the time or even glancing at it. Yet, when he heard the unmistakable clomp of boots as they entered his house and traversed his floors to the basement doorway, he somehow knew it had been quite a while. He thought passingly that hopefully, the time was doing Tony some good, but couldn't think beyond that as Abby clomped noisily down his stairs without saying a word, setting all thoughts of Tony off to the side.

"Hey, Abbs." He greeted her in a normal tone.

The fact that she had no greeting in response for him raised serious warning bells in his head. "Abby?"

"I can't talk to you right now, Gibbs. I'm too angry with you." She finally gave him with complete seriousness.

The father in him wanted to scoop her up and ask her what was wrong but the Team Leader in him knew enough to give her the space to work through it in her own way. The fact that this was in all probability about the mess with Tim, kept him from trying to rush her as well since he hadn't forgotten the conversation he'd heard the other night that had opened his eyes while literally stabbing him in the heart.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He offered.

"Don't be nice to me, Gibbs! I don't want you to be nice to me right now. I need to stay angry at you so I can make sure I say everything I need to." She drilled with no change in her tone.

"Alright."

Leaving the Lab Rat to her thoughts, he picked the hand tool back up and went back to work on the boat so he, himself could think through more of what he needed to hash out with Tony. Their conversation hadn't covered everything, not by a long shot and that had been deliberate on Gibbs part, as had keeping them from going upstairs to the bedroom and Tony from drinking. There had been much to work through and he'd wanted them both focused on nothing else.

Giving Tony the out to go find some air and the chance to think before they'd gotten in too deep, was different; at least he hoped so. He wanted Tony to find his way to that place where the young man could see what he'd done that should have been done differently and that he needed to start trying to mend fences with Tim. Hell, for that matter, they both did.

The Team Leader knew that as soon as Tony had worked his way through the stumbling blocks holding him back from getting things back on track with Tim, he needed to be told about the youngest agent's behind the scenes sacrifices; that wasn't anything that needed to be kept secret. Tim deserved better. They all deserved to have all the cards laid out on the table so they could start trying to mend their fences and re-knit the unity of the team – if that were even possible.

"I can't remember ever being as disappointed or as angry with you as I am right now, Gibbs." Abby finally spoke with an eerie calmness that belied her true feelings, as she splintered the silence between them.

Gibbs put the tool down and pulled up a stool, sitting down where he could see her. "What's this about, Abby?" He asked her quietly as he looked her straight on.

"What's this about? Do you really have to ask?" She practically shrieked at him as she nearly jumped to her feet and began pacing back and forth in front of him, forcing him to also stand and move back to give her the room she needed.

"Gonna go out on a limb here and say this is about Tim."

"You got that right, Mister! All these years on your team, he's been jumping through hoops to make you happy and meet your demands and you've never once taken the time to talk to him like a person! I mean, c'mon, Gibbs! He's never been to your house except to work on a case? What happened to you 'door's always open' policy? There some reason it's never applied to Timmy? He's never been given the same steak dinner in the fireplace treatment that Tony's gotten a dozen times over! Heck, he's never even once felt comfortable coming to you to talk about anything because you haven't tried to make him feel like you care! You've always shown Timmy that Tony matters a hell of a lot more to you than he does! Why the hell shouldn't I be pissed, Gibbs?"

"Abby, you need to calm down." Gibbs told her as sternly as he could without raising his voice at her.

"I would calm down, Gibbs, but now you're calling him Tim and you've never done that unless he's hurt or in trouble. So that means something really bad happened Friday night between the three of you and you're not telling me!"

The Team Leader shook his head. "Just tryin' to change a few things that are long overdue." Now why don't you calm down and then lay it all out for me. You're not done, I can see that."

Taking a breath, Abby worked to calm herself down even though she was just getting wound up now that she'd gotten his full and undivided attention. Taking a deep breath, she let more of what was on her mind out into the open, needing him to hear every bit of it.

"You're right, Gibbs, I'm not done! I had no idea you were treating him like the 'red-headed step child all these years! I've seen you stop at the end of the day and ask Tony what's on his mind – _more_ than once but you've _never once_ done that for McGee! I'll bet he's been seeing this from you since Vance let you have him back from Cybercrimes – because well, from what I heard, you never said two words to him whole four months he was down there or even when you finally got him back – and I remember hearing someone ask him if he was even sure you wanted him back because there was talk that your silence towards him meant you didn'! It was like you blamed him for Vance forcing his hand in not telling you about what he was working on or something and haven't forgiven him since! Why would you treat him like that, Gibbs?"

Gibbs breathed out deeply. She'd nailed it.– the reason that Tim felt he'd been betrayed. He could feel it. His gut clenched around it with certainty. It explained why Ducky wouldn't spell it out for him. Surprisingly enough, he found himself grateful that Abby had. It would have taken him a lot longer to figure this much out on his own – since he'd obviously turned such a blind eye to his own failure to treat all the members of his team with the same amount of curteousy and respect they'd earned.

She was right about his attitude towards Tim while the team had been torn apart after Jenny's death. It had been four months of missed opportunities to work on and strengthen the dynamics of at least part of his team; the part he'd long taken for granted to boot. But, Gibbs had admittedly taken the easy way out; choosing instead, to ignore Tim since he had no access to the rest of his team; all or none, it seemed. He'd been too frustrated and perpetually angry at the way things had been changed so abruptly and unfairly for all of them, to think outside his own box at the time.

Abby was also right about 'the Tony's Special' as Tim referred to it the other night. He'd had Tony over for dinner more times than he could count and more of them before they'd begun their relationship than after – since those nights usually turned into stay-over's and didn't really weigh in on the count as such.

Even Abby had been here more times than could be counted – be it for dinner or just to talk or even just to check up on Gibbs – whether he wanted it or not. Ziva, too had been here several times, albeit , her visits had been much fewer in number and always either case related or because she needed to talk to him about the chaos and distrust that had come between them when they'd brought her home from being held prisoner by Salim for those four months.

The bottom line, as Gibbs knew it, was that Tim McGee had never been made to feel welcome, not just here in Gibbs' home, but as a bonified member of the 'family' that was Team Gibbs.

Thinking back, he recalled seeing an expression on Tim's face once that came close to the one he'd seen there Friday night – back when Tony first came back from his days as Agent Afloat. Strange that this would come back to him now; strange but fitting he supposed, since the expressions were remarkably similar as much as they were rare. As Gibbs had looked away after welcoming Tony home with a handshake and a clap on the shoulder, his eyes had passed over those of his youngest agent, silently observing this most verbal of responses the Team Leader had ever offered and this just shortly after publically hugging Ziva as the long lost daughter she'd felt like in his heart.

Gibbs remembered not understanding why Tim would look as though he'd been stabbed in the heart at that moment but shrugging it off nothing to worry about. Sadly enough, he understood it perfectly now. The problem was that he only understood it as much as he did only because Ducky already understood it and so did Abby.

"Why haven't you ever taken the few minutes to stop and make sure he was really alright after he accidentally shot that cop or got tazered by that stupid security guard? And the hot tub! Don't even get me started on that hot tub, Gibbs!"

Gibbs frowned as she continued to pace agitatedly as if she wasn't yet finished raking him over the coals.

"And another thing: I'm betting you've never even checked to make sure you knew what his family's situation was before you decided he didn't need anyone to talk to when the chips were down for him then, either! You just kept expecting him to keep getting back up no matter if he was too lost or feeling too alone to figure things out for himself or not".

Finally, she stopped, having nothing else to say; either so he could take in everything she'd just thrown at him or because she herself needed the chance to breathe, he wasn't sure. He was just glad she'd stopped even though an uncomfortable silence settled between them that seemed to go on endlessly.

"Why you bringing all this up now, Abby? Half of what you're talkin' about happened years ago!"

"Because, Gibbs – Timmy deserves to know why! But he'll never ask you himself."

Gibbs stood up and walked over to his work table and poured himself a drink.

"I had an interesting visitor last night, Gibbs." Abby seemed to have switched gears while she'd been silent but the Team Leader just stayed with the flow without interrupting.

"Okay, I'll bite. What did this person want from you?" He asked her before taking a long sip and setting the glass down as he looked over at her.

"Oh, he didn't want anything _from_ me." She answered loftily. "He just wanted to share some information with me because he knows Timmy's my best friend and I'm always interested in what's going on with him."

"Abby!"

"Did you know that Timmy is almost a legend at NCIS? Seems everyone thinks he's the 'go-to' guy for all things computer. According to my visitor, Timmy was even called up by Director Vance to fix a computer glitch with the security system that happened Friday night." Abby was speaking almost conversationally, as if not even leading to a point somewhere, leading Gibbs to offer a bland response.

"I know."

"You know? Of course, you know. I mean not only do you know because you're Gibbs and you know everything – but you know – because, well – you know!" Abby spouted off on her typical spiel.

"Abby – make sense?" He growled at her.

"I am making sense, Gibbs! You know because - well because you and Tony and the way you've been acting all weird for the past three months – and the way you both treated Timmy so terribly all last week – are all part of the puzzle that's been puzzling me all week about what had Timmy so upset Friday night."

"You've got my attention, so just spit it out, Abby."

"When I heard about the security system glitch, I realized I'd just been handed the last piece of the puzzle. The puzzle is you, Tony and an extremely upset Timmy from Friday night that both you and Tony didn't want me to go check up on, Gibbs! Tell me I'm wrong!"

"Now, I know I promised Timmy that I wouldn't dig for clues or ask any one about what happened. But, we never talked about what I could or couldn't do when a new piece of the puzzle was handed to me on a silver platter so I'm using it!. And you know what I think, Gibbs?"

"No." Gibbs replied more calmly than he felt. He hadn't wanted her to know about this because he knew she'd be more than pissed, as she obviously was – she'd possibly be so fired up about it that she would create more waves where Tim was obviously trying to keep that from happening. "But, you're gonna tell me." He observed since he knew there was no way to hold back what was coming and if he stood a chance at all in calming this upcoming storm, he'd have to let her get it out of her system first.

"I think, you and Tony have been hooked up for a while now – which, by the way, I have no problem with you and you would have known that if you'd been honest with me up front but that's beside the point now because the point is Friday night Timmy found out about it – probably in a really shocking way since he had to go in and delete it off all the cameras that you two obviously forgot about . I'm still trying to figure out why you two would do something like that at NCIS – but the bigger question is why would you let your private relationship with each other affect how you treat Timmy? What did he ever do to either of you, Gibbs?" She finally wound down and fell silent, her flashing eyes piercing his heart with their clear accusations.

"Nothing." Tony's voice came from above them both, as he stood at the top of the stairs, holding tightly to the stair railing as it was literally all that was holding him up. "That's the problem. Probie's never done anything to me – well, except a well placed mean jab here or there, but…"

"But, you've been literally dousing him with those for years! I mean, seriously, Tony – he was funnier when he was fatter? With digs like that, why shouldn't he have some comebacks after all this time, Tony?" She turned on the new arrival, her eyes no less angry.

"Hey, I'm not saying he shouldn't – just that he's learned to give back as good as he's given."

"Really? So then the last time you were in charge of a case, he waited until your back was turned to complain to Gibbs that the job you had just done and done right – wasn't any big deal because it wasn't brain surgery? And I'm guessing Gibbs agreed with him, too, right?" Abby asked snippily.

"Wait, he heard that?" Tony asked in shock.

"Not that I know of. And I really hope he didn't. He never said anything if he did – then again, he wouldn't. But, you forget there are ears everywhere in that building and a lot of people who don't understand why Timmy gets treated with so little respect from the two of you and believe he deserves better! Even Jimmy who remembers you publically telling Ducky once that you and Kate didn't respect McGee! I'm telin' you, Tony – it's not right!"

"What? When did I… oh, Kate, right. We were ….oh, jeez, that was a long, long time ago, Abby."

'Which proves my point that you've been treatin' him like crap for a long time."

Tony cocked his head at an angle as he looked at her for a long silent minute before he spoke. "I think your halo's a little crooked there, Abbs. Pretty banged up, too"

"What's that supposed to mean, Tony?"

"It MEANS, Abby, that there's been plenty of times over the years that you've treated him like crap, yourself – I imagine that halo got pretty bent up when it was you that opened McGee's apartment door to that maniac ex-boyfriend of yours, after Tim told you NOT to open the door to any one – oh, yeah, and I'm guessing it got banged up with all the times you stepped on his heart by parading all your dates in front of him you rejected him way back when and you're supposed to be the one who loves him – oh, wait a minute! That's right! You only love the guy like you love puppies – and have the nerve to tell him _that_ should be enough!"

"Tony, that's no…."

Gibbs' ear-splitting whistle penetrated the air around them ending the squabble immediately even as the man silently headed upstairs to his kitchen, suddenly in desperate need for more coffee and even a quiet minute in which to think. It rattled him to realize there were plenty of things that had gone on within the lives of his team members that he had no inkling of.

"Sorry, Gibbs." Abby announced now subdued with the after affects of being splashed with the truth of Tony's words, as she joined the Team Leader in the kitchen a few moments later.

"Yeah, me too, Boss." Tony quietly admitted. "Security tapes. Can't believe I forgot about them!"

"Good thing for you guys that Timmy didn't. He's still lookin' out for the team, even when they're not lookin' out for him." Abby griped as she plucked herself down in one of the chairs at the table.

Crooking his finger at her, Gibbs silently motioned for Abby to follow him out of the room. When they'd reached the front hall, he pecked her a kiss on the cheek and quietly requested that she leave Tony and he to talk. "I appreciate what you came here to do, Abbs. I promise you, I'll do what I can to start making things better. But, right now, Tony and I have some things we need to figure out."

"Like whether or not you two are gonna stay together – or whether Tony will blame him if you don't? Abby suggested knowingly, her face a study in worry as she glanced from Gibbs back to Tony who'd followed them to the front door. Heading on out, she looked back and asked one last question

"What happens when Timmy blames himself?"


	17. Chapter 17

No sooner had Abby's roadster pulled out of the driveway and headed away from the house, than Tony was pacing restlessly as his mind worked to put the chaotic mess of facts, accusations and truths he'd been given within the last couple of hours, into some semblance of order. _How the hell could he and Gibbs have forgotten about the surviellence video cameras at work?_

Thinking back to that moment when Abby's words on the subject had reached his ears and he'd looked over at his lover, Tony remembered realizing that what he'd seen on the man's face hadn't been surprise or the sudden discovery of something formally forgotten, but rather sadness of the acknowledgement of something that shouldn't have happened. _Gibbs knew! He already knew about the video tapes!_

Turning around to glare at his lover now, Tony practically snarled in anger. "When the hell were you gonna tell me about the video tapes?"

Gibbs stared back at him with an unreadable expression. "Not tonight."

"Well, yeah, I got that much, Gibbs!" the younger man bit out.

"Yeah?" Gibbs tone was as sarcastic now as Tony's was angry. "Did you also get that it was more important that you found out for yourself where you took a wrong turn with Tim and be ready to work on fixing it?"

"What the hell did that have to do with you withholding information from me?" Tony demanded.

"Can you honestly say that you were ready to hear how he stuck his neck out for us in the aftermath of the same mess you're still so pissed at him about?" Gibbs demanded in return.

"Why wouldn't I be ready to hear it?"

"You haven't stopped blaming him long enough to even lis…"

"So now you're deciding how long I need to think about something?" Tony interrupted hotly. " Don't you think I'm capable of hearing the whole truth all at once, Gibbs?"

"You tell me. Are you?" His lover gave back unexpectedly.

Tony turned and walked away – needing the chance to breathe and think instead of giving in to the strong urge he had at that moment to hit something.

*****NCIS*****

She knew she should have called first. It would have been the polite thing to do, even if the reason for her unannounced visit was due to extreme concern for her friend. At this point, however, she was more concerned about Tim himself than about the social niceities he and she usually treated each other with. Knocking on his door, Ziva could only hope he'd open up to her, not only letting her into his apartment, but also into whatever it was he was trying to handle alone. She wasn't wanting to push where he wasn't willing to let her in, merely where he could see that he didn't have to go through it alone.

Tim frowned as he tossed down his pen in response to the sound of the knock on his door. He wasn't expecting company and really wasn't up for any either. He knew that whoever this happened to be was most likely someone who wanted him to talk and he already felt talked out and drained; having said much more than he'd wanted to when Abby had worked her magic ability to get him to open up to her, on him.

He'd never meant to say near as much as he had. All those long not-so-lost memories and the sting that came with them had somehow slipped out amidst the other stuff he hadn't minded letting out. Abby had always had a way of opening that door on everything he normally kept hidden away from the world that had hurt him, in a soft enough manner that it felt almost natural to let it all out, at least, on the days she put her mind to being the good friend she was capable of being.

Looking through the peephole of his door now, he was surprised to find Ziva standing there waiting to be let in. With a sigh of frustration, he unlocked the door and opened it wide, greeting her quietly as he did. "Ziva, what's wrong?"

"Hello, McGee." She answered him seriously. "Nothing is wrong; at least not with me. Why does something have to be wrong for me to come visit you?"

"Maybe because it's been a couple of years since you've done it." Tim suggested as non-sarcastically as he could manage while he closed the door behind her as she came inside his apartment.

Turning back around to face him, she smiled ruefully. "I will admit, it has been a long time. Too long. That does not, however, mean that the situation cannot be remedied, I would hope."

Tim gestured for her to sit down on his couch as he settled into the chair next to it. "It's okay, Ziva. We're all guilty of getting too busy and not taking enough time out for our friends. What's on your mind?"

"You are, McGee." She answered "I am here because I am concerned about you – for you."

"Ziva, I appreciate it. Really I do." Tim told her with a small smile that failed to reach his eyes. "But, I'm fine. Really."

"McGee, I am not blind nor am I ignorant. In fact, I am quite good at reading people, especially those I have worked closely with for as long as I have with the people on this team. I find that I am even better at reading those I consider to be close friends and you, Timothy McGee are someone I consider to be one of my closest friends."

"Ziva, I…" Tim stumbled over his words while embarrassment shook his thought pattern up.

"It is quite obvious that there is a rather large rift between Tony and yourself that Gibbs, while not happy about it, does not wish to get in the middle of." She continued on as if he hadn't spoken.

Tim breathed out a loud sigh. "Ziva, I've thought about this long and hard because knowing that you seem to be the only one on the team who doesn't know - makes it feel like we're keeping secrets from you and I for one; hate it."

"But." She encouraged him to get the rest of what he needed to say off his chest.

"But, as much as I hate it- the secret – it's not my secret to tell." He admitted sadly. "I am sorry."

Ziva leaned forward, extending her hands towards his and smiling as he reciprocated, allowing her to take his hands in hers. "There is no need for you to apologise, McGee. Your integrity is one of your most endearing qualities. Do not feel you should be sorry for upholding your standards for such personal character; for what is part of what makes you a truly wonderful friend."

"Thank you, Ziva." Tim smiled genuinely in appreciation, this time the sparkle even reaching his eyes, even if it was just for a minute.

"I came to ask you if there was anything at all that I could do to help you."

"No, Ziva. But thank you so much for asking; for caring." Tim offered. "But, I'm afraid that there are some things that just have to run their course once things have happened that can't be undone – things that nothing can be done to help."

"Can you give me an example, McGee?" Ziva questioned gently. "I am afraid, I do not understand what such a thing might be."

"Yes, you do, Ziva. You've been through some of those yourself." Tim gently corrected her statement.

Ziva nodded. "I suppose you are right. Why don't yo…"

"Those times when regaining your ability to trust someone once they've broken that between you, doesn't seem possible." Tim's bitter tone illuminated the discussion for her, unexpectedly.

"I knew it." Ziva blew up. "I knew Tony did something to you while I was gone!"

"Ziva, please!"

The desperation in his tone hit her in the heart. "Oh, McGee."

Tim smiled softly. "I need some coffee. Would you like some?"

******NCIS******

Abby knocked on his door, her heart still pounding from the dressing down she'd just given Tony and Gibbs. Her heart still ached for Tim and she needed to wrap him up in a hug and let him know he wasn't alone. When her knock went unanswered, she turned the handle of his door and was relieved to find it unlocked even though he normally kept it locked at all times. Stepping into his apartment, she breathed a sigh of relief to see signs that he was home and okay as she laid eyes on his keys and his phone on the hallway table.

"Timmy!" She called out. "I think everything will start working out for the better now. I just talked to Gibbs and Tony. I told them that I knew you found them making out at work Friday night and that you had to edit the surviellence videos in the break room and the garage to cut that out and save their hides. Told them that you stuck your neck out for them while they've been treating you like crap for years. I gave them hell – something they've had coming for a long time. I really think they'll start treating you with more respect no…"

Her voice dropped off as Tim stepped out into the hallway, his expression one Abby hadn't seen on him in a very long time; a mixture of fury, pain and disbelief.

_Crap. What had she just done?_

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs watched Tony turn and walk away – anger vibrating off of him with every step. Letting out a sigh of frustration, the older man closed his eyes for a minute. It had been a hell of a day and apparently the night was far from over. Needing sustenance, he disappeared back to his basement and was soon drinking from his wiped out mason jar, already on the second poured allotment before feeling calm enough to stop. Setting the jar down, he braced his hands on the work bench and closed his eyes once more. What the hell could he do now? Why would Abby ask about how their breakup would come about and who would be blamed? It was almost as if she thought it doomed to fail because if she'd believed in it and felt happy for them, she would have said that instead.

Underneath all that about his and Tony's relationship was all that truth about the way Tim had been treated over the years – much of it without second thought from any of them. Gibbs knew that Tony had made some valid points too, about Abby's mistreatment of the young man who'd never complained yet remained loyal and true, despite how he was treated. In the wake of all that had been revealed here tonight, he could no longer find fault with Tim's choices in the last week; since that Friday night the rug had been pulled out from under him. What's more – he hoped that Tony could see that now, as well.

Hightailing it back up the stairs, he headed straight for the backyard where Tony had gone to pace and think; only to find it empty. Searching the house, he came up empty yet again; until he came back to the kitchen where he found a note propped up between the salt and pepper shakers on the kitchen table. Snatching up the note, he opened it to find himself staring at words in Tony's handwriting.

_Gibbs:_

_I think Abby might be right – about everything – including us.  
__I need time to think. - _T.

With a frown, Gibbs put the paper in his pocket and headed upstairs. Suddenly, he felt very old and very tired.

******NCIS****  
**

Ziva and Tim had been sitting down in the young man's kitchen as they drank coffee and enjoyed the peace and quiet of a more strengthened friendship, cemented by Ziva's visit out of pure concern for him when that peace and quiet was shattered by the completely unexpected piercing, yet very familiar voice as it rent the airwaves and reached them where they sat.

_"Timmy! "_

Tim smiled ruefully at Ziva, not happy at this unexpected interruption, especially since he hadn't heard her knock or even enter his apartment.

_"I think everything will start working out for the better now. I just talked to Gibbs and Tony. I told them that I knew you found them making out at work Friday night and that you had to edit the surviellence videos in the break room and the garage to cut that out and save their hides."_

Tim was on his feet, his face a mask of embarressment and hurt as his head dropped almost to his chest.

_T"old them that you stuck your neck out for them while they've been treating you like crap for years."_

Ziva watched in silent agony for him as Tim raised his head back up and walked to the doorway of the kitchen and stepped out into the hallway while Abby's words continued to flow, loud and explosive in content.

_"I gave them hell – something they've had coming for a long time. I really think they'll start treating you with more respect no…" _

Ziva listened as the silence descended down around the three of them. She heard Abby's indrawn breath of shock; probably at the look on Tim's face. The soft click of the closing apartment door was unmistakable; presumably meaning Abby had retreated. A mere half-minute later, she was shocked to find Abby walking into the kitchen and stopping cold, her voice broken in shock and sadness.

"Ziva! Oh, God! No wonder Timmy...Oh, God! What have I done?"


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Please forgive the delay. Had the grandbabies for the weekend - no time to write._

* * *

Too angry to think straight, he stalked out to his car and got in it, quickly driving away from the situation he couldn't possibly deal with for another minute. He wasn't sure when everything had spiraled so far out of control but he was more than ready to just disappear until this nightmare got swept under the rug of the resumed busy lives of his teammates and the pile of previously forgotten situations not important enough to keep in mind.

He hadn't gone five miles down the road when the anger dissipated and logic and reason returned. Running out on the situation while he'd been that angry had been stupid and reckless; especially this late at night. Still, he couldn't turn back. Too much was at stake. His thoughts remained too jumbled to make any heads or tails of any of it and it was much too late. With determination borne of stubbornness, he continued letting his thoughts try to sort themselves out as he drove, intent of finding a way to end this tonight or at least the chaos that had been born of it. Without even realizing he'd done it, he found himself parked in front of the house of someone he needed to talk to. Taking a deep breath, he thought over this decision once more. The man deserved to know and it wasn't fair that he be told by anyone else. He didn't **want** to talk to him. He **had** to.

Getting out of his car, he pocketed his keys and rambled toward the house; finally noticing that there were no lights on inside. Breathing out a sigh of resignation that once again, his plan to do the right thing wasn't going to be possible as he'd hoped. He sat down on the porch steps and leaned against the solid beam that ran from roof to floor; unwilling to disturb anyone's sleep. Besides, it wasn't as if he really wanted to go inside anyway. Not now. Used to be he'd held out hope that one day he'd be welcomed, just as the rest of them had been. But now, the only reason he even allowed himself to stay on the property was because the second car was gone and something in his gut told him the driver wouldn't be back tonight.

Huffing out a small laugh at his thoughts, he shook his head. It didn't matter if he felt comfortable here for a moment or for an hour – if he wasn't going to get the chance to talk to the person he'd come to talk to. Looking out at the neighborhood, he sighed. What he wouldn't give for a family of his own like these people. _Why did life always have to mock him like this? Was he really that terrible of a person that he didn't deserve to be happy with someone he could settle down and be supremely happy with for the rest of his life?_

******NCIS******

Despite being more angry with Abby than she could remember having been before, Ziva held on tight to the knowledge that they were all friends as well as teammates and McGee would not want to see Abby upset like this, no matter how upset he, himself happened to be. Keeping that firmly in mind, she did what she could to calm the distraught woman down, urging her to sit down at Tim's kitchen counter and relax when she gave her a glass of ice water. "Drink this, Abby. And try to calm down."

"What am I gonna do, Ziva? He'll never forgive me now!" The wild-child of the team asked pitifully.

"You and I both know that is not true." Ziva corrected her. "McGee is a very forgiving person. But that does not excuse what you have done. Our friend and teammate made it very clear to both of us that he did not wish to discuss the problem he was attempting to deal with on his own and you insisted on doing things your way just as you always do, Abby, regardless of how he felt about it."

"I know." Abby was nearly wailing now, her distress so genuine at what she'd inadvertently done.

"What did you hope to accomplish, Abby? By coming here to talk to him about what you've done behind his back? What did you think would happen?"

"Isn't that why you were here?" Abby demanded in a defensive accusation.

Ziva shook her head sadly. "No, Abby. I came here to find out if there was any way I could help him without him talking about it because while McGee made it quite clear that he was not willing nor able to discuss it; I saw that he still was in great need of someone to lean on, to help him, even if he was unaware or unwilling to admit as much to himself."

"You don't understand, Ziva." Abby defended herself. "He needs more than that! Timmy's been holding in a lot of pain and hurt from the way we've treated him over the years and he needed someone to speak up for him about because he never has and never would have!"

"So you decided for him that it was your place to make that decision for him and be his voice?" The Israeli woman asked with disappointment and sorrow.

"Someone had to. Timmy deserved to have his hurts addressed and the crappy way they treat him so they start treating him better!"

"And you, Abby? Will you start treating him better also?"

Abby's eyes flashed with anger. "You sound like Tony."

"We do both speak the truth as we see it. Now, you really must calm yourself, Abby. Then we will need to decide what to do next."

Abby's sniffles continued although they did quieten down as she worked to do as suggested. No words were spoken between them for a few uncomfortable minutes as the Lab Rat sipped at her water while both stared thoughtfully at the entrance-way where Tim had last stood before he'd taken off, neither of them saying a word.

Finally, after what seemed like hours later, Abby had pulled herself together enough to actively move around and think, as she stood up and began pacing. "I have to get outta here. Timmy won't want to see me when he comes back."

"You are probably right. Are you alright to drive or would you like for me to drive you home?" Ziva asked with genuine concern.

"Would you stay with me? I really don't think I can stand being alone tonight, Ziva." Abby was quick to quietly admit.

Ziva nodded. "Yes, Abby, I will stay with you, but only because McGee would want it that way. He would not want you to stay alone while you are upset. I am not happy that he will have no one here to see to it that he is alright when he comes back."

"You could text him – let him know where you are if he needs you." Abby suggested. "But, I think we both know I shouldn't be here when he gets home."

"Agreed." Ziva answered with brutal honesty as she picked her phone and did just that.

******NCIS******

With all the pent up anger thrown into it, he tossed his overnight bag into the front seat of his car and dropped down into the driver's seat with a carelessness that spoke clearly of his exhaustion and sense of defeat as he started up his car and drove away, never looking back. With enough confusion and hurt mixed together with stepped on pride and a mangled mass of realizations that he'd not only stopped over so many lines he'd stopped seeing straight long ago, but he'd also stripped a treasured relationship or two along the way; right now, he couldn't even stand to be around himself, much less deal with being a competent field agent. He needed a break. He needed to escape it all – just for a little while.

Having spent the last two hours man-handling the necessary paperwork down at the office and submitting it into the proper cyberspace channels, he'd come home to pack and to clean out his refrigerator and dispose of his trash, making sure to leave his apartment in good enough shape to withstand his absence.

Now he was finally making his escape, but somehow it didn't feel even the least bit satisfying to be driving out of D.C. Not wanting to be tracked, he'd taken a large chunk of his hidden away 'rainy day' fund and chosen to drive instead of any other traceable method of transportation. With a sigh of tiredness, he realized, while he was escaping the people, the problem was that he could not escape the problems he'd created, merely the faces that represented them and the immediate requirement of a solution that would fix what he'd done. Suddenly, he couldn't put enough distance between where he'd been and where he was going.

*****NCIS*****

The sound of a car in his driveway woke him, twisting his gut that he needed to get up and take care of whoever it was that had come to him; for whatever reason they'd come. Quickly he slid on a pair of jeans and poured a shirt over his head and arms as he snatched up his phone and headed down the stairs to the front door. Looking through the large glass window of his front door, he was shocked to find not only whose car it was now sitting in his driveway, but to also see that person now sitting on his front steps.

With a deep sigh of relief mixed with unease, he padded to the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. They'd both need the caffeine if this was going to turn out as well as they needed it to. While unexpected, this turn of events was actually welcomed, now that he was presented with it. As the aroma of brewing coffee filled the air, he returned to his front door; now fully prepared to welcome his late night guest

*****NCIS*****

The sound of the alarm for an incoming text message aroused him from his exhausted touch of slumber where he sat leaning against the porch support beam, having gotten comfortable enough in the cool night air that his tiredness had caught up with him. Looking at the text message with eyes made bleary with sleep, he had to smile.

_Taking Abby home. Do not worry. I will stay with her until she falls asleep. Please call me if you need a friend._

With a wave of gratitude for Ziva and her willingness to support not only him but his way of dealing with this mess and its' fallout – he stood to his feet, keeping himself steady with a grip on the support beam until his balance had righted itself. He wasn't accomplishing anything here. While the man still needed to be told, it obviously wasn't going to happen tonight. Logical thinking said it could just as well be handled by going into work earlier than anyone else and telling the man first thing in the morning.

As he twisted and stretched to alleviate the kinked muscles and settled tiredness, he resolved himself to follow this new plan. With the lightest tread he could manage, he descended the four steps down off the porch and began walking down the walk to the driveway. He hadn't gone three feet in that direction, before he heard the sound of the front door behind him opening up. Still, his resolve to handle things in this new way, kept him moving away from the old way, his heart nearly leaping up in his throat in surprise.

"McGee?"

_Damn it!_ Stopping in his tracks, he did what polite society demanded of him; turning around where he stood and looking at the man straight on. Pushing the boundaries of that politeness, he said nothing.

"Something you want to talk to me about?" Gibbs carefully asked, deliberately keeping his voice even and calm while choosing his words just as carefully since this young man had finally come to his home and sought him out, for the first time in over seven years.

Tim shook his head. "No." Letting out an audible sigh, he held his ground where he stood, not wanting to have to endure this with an actual discussion that might bring him more pain. "Just thought you should know, Ziva accidentally found out tonight."

Leaving the older man surprised into speechlessness, he turned on his heels, walked back to his car, got in and drove away.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: **Just wanted to shout it from the rooftops**_

- **Shelbylou has generously helped with this chapter and it is completely awesome having her back!**

_Warning: Lots of thinking going on in this one._

* * *

Saturday morning came stupidly early with dawn just about breaking making the sky a soft, velvety blue intertwined with ribbons of color as the sun started to rise; and yet after a night of tossing and turning, Tim was more than ready to be done with trying to find any of the sleep that had eluded him. With a groan of discomfort borne of sheer, bone deep exhaustion, he got up to face the day. Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was barely five and sighed heavily. _So much for trying to catch up on his rest._ That just wasn't happening anytime soon.

Leaving his mess of troubled thoughts behind wrapped in the wreck of bed sheets, he mentally shrugged it off and changed gears enough to move forward. Thinking back through the last twelve hours or so, he suddenly felt lighter and less weighed down by the chaos and emotional waves that had kept him company for most of the last week. He remembered feeling a measure of pride in himself for handling things with Gibbs the way he had last night. With the text he'd sent Ziva thanking her for everything and promising her breakfast this morning, he felt better about things than he had since stumbling across Gibbs and Tony together in the break room a week ago.

He made himself a pot of coffee and went to sit by the window to watch the morning and use the time to gather his thoughts. Even though he felt as though the proverbial weight had been lifted, his mind still had to siphon through everything. That was the way he was built; like a computer but much more complex. He sat there for a couple of hours and managed to finish his coffee before realizing the time and moving to get ready for the day ahead. Apparently, this quiet time worked because by the time he'd showered, dressed and headed out, a small smile graced his handsome features. He couldn't help it and was still smiling as he drove to a nearby café where he could order breakfast to go before anything or anyone could sour his mood.

Thirty minutes later, Tim was carrying Ziva's breakfast and his own in a take out sack as he walked up to her apartment door and rang the bell. As he waited for her to answer the door, he couldn't help but feel invigorated about the start of a new day; especially one that would not touch on any of the crap waiting for him at work. He didn't have long to wait before Ziva was letting him in, a smile on her face that seemed to reach her eyes, lighting up her whole face. His stomach flip-flopped and he found himself wondering, not for the first time, if she'd ever think of him as anything other than a co-worker. That thought was gone in a heartbeat, chased away by the image of Tony scowling at him as if Tim were poaching. Mentally shaking his head, he smiled back at her and walked into Ziva's apartment looking forward to having breakfast with his friend.

*****NCIS******

Abby felt restless and trapped inside the misery of her own making. She knew she'd screwed up but was completely at a loss as to how to fix things with Tim. The way things had turned out last night had never even crossed her mind as a possible outcome of what she'd done. Her heart hadn't allowed her to believe it would end in any other way but helpful for Tim and an eye opener for Tony and Gibbs. She loved all of them. They were her family. Families accidentally hurt each other all the time, but they also took the time to make amends and strengthen their bonds. _Why would this be any different?_

She knew the answer to that and as the voice inside her head reminded her now, this family _was_ different than most because they worked together and knew each other better than most families know each other, which gave them the power to hurt each other more and much more deeply. One only had to look into Tim's eyes these days, ever since last Friday night, to see that. She knew she'd spoken the truth when she'd said he was deeply hurt. The trouble was, she also knew he'd meant to keep that hurt hidden away from the world forever. Her letting him know that she'd reamed out the responsible parties without his permission or even his prior knowledge, had angered him more than she'd ever seen before. She just wasn't sure why. She didn't understand the problem with making sure his teammates straightened up and started treating him better; herself included. _Why was he so pissed at her?_

Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was nearly ten in the morning. Breathing a sigh of relief that it was late enough in the day to do what needed to be done, she took her phone out and hit the speed dial number she needed, taking a deep breath as she waited for the call to be answered. Today was the day she would do what she could to fix what she'd messed up, another sigh, this one of relief, escaped her as her call was picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"Are you busy? I really need to talk to you."

*****NCIS*****

Long used to being continually active doing something, even when he wasn't working, Tony found himself restless inside of two hours after he'd woken up at nine on Saturday morning despite feeling relieved that he'd left his work cell phone at work and picked up a burn phone – of which only Vance had the number since he'd emailed it to him in a note attached to his request for emergency leave. For the first time in eight years, he didn't want to watch a movie and had no need or desire to call anyone, not even Gibbs.

It was that thought that had him frowning as it hit him square in the heart. That realization had to mean something but he wasn't sure he was willing to accept what his mind and common sense was trying to convince him that it meant. But, try as he might, he couldn't stop the deluge of questions that came on him now. _It's not possible! Is it?_ _I wouldn't have done gotten involved with him unless I loved him! Would I? _

_"I don't mean to sound like I don't care about McGee. But if he screws this up for us, I'm never gonna forgive him."_

_"He won't, Tony. Not on purpose. Not his style."_

_"I can't take any more failure in my personal life, Gibbs. I just can't."_

_"Not gonna happen, Anthony."_

_"Even if you have to choose between having us at home or at work?"_

_"Even then."_

Tony squirmed unconsciously in his seat as the words struck their chords again. Still feeling fresh and right on target. Relentlessly, the wave of them carried on crashing through his mind, insisting on being heard yet again.

_"You want me to act like I don't care how this affects him? He's part of my team. We don't leave our people behind, remember?"_

_Not really sure how this qualifies as leaving him behind, Gibbs. More like leaving me behind while you sit and stew about him. You couldn't even stay in bed with me last night!" _

_"Told you we were gonna get through this, Anthony. Just have to trust me." _

_"Love you, Gibbs. Don't wanna lose what we have here."_

_"I know, Anthony. I promise we won't let anything hurt us."_

_"Can't promise that, Gibbs. Just promise me we'll give it our all and I can deal with whatever comes up; so long as you're with me."_

_"I promise."_

Tony's mind wouldn't quit spinning with questions mixed with memories and it wasn't helping him find the answers that he wanted. All his energy seemed to disappear as he fought his way through everything running through his head. It seemed like too high a mountain of stuff to climb with no one or nothing to help him in sight.

_"Even you have to admit we've been drifting apart over this since Sunday, Gibbs. Hell, even Saturday morning was almost a splitting point and you know it was."_

_"That what this is about? You're pissed because I couldn't just ignore Tim finding us together the way he did or how it might have affected him?"_

_"Gibbs, you've barely slept since Friday night! You won't talk to me about what's going on in your head – and…"_

_"If you wanted to talk – all you had to do was walk through the door and tell me so."_

_"Hey, I came over – twice!"_

_"There a reason you didn't say anything when you got here?"_

_"I would think that was pretty obvious."_

_"Ah, yeah. The boat. You decided breaking one of my rules was a better idea than talking to me about it."_

_"That's not fair, Gibbs"_

_"You took the easy way out, Tony."_

_"EASY? The one thing coming here and finding you starting to build another boat when you told me you had no need to do that anymore, was NOT – was easy! How could you think it was?"_

_"I think you didn't bother to ask me about it because you might have heard something you weren't ready to hear."_

_"Oh, you mean like 'We're done because poor little ole McGee is jealous now that he knows about us?' You're damn right I wasn't ready to hear that! I warned you I wouldn't be."_

_"That what you think I was gonna say? You have so little trust in me, Tony?"_

_"No! That's not what I meant! Gibbs, no! I trust you – completely. I do it's just..."_

_"But you thought that the first thing that came to your mind meant you had it all figured out - which gave you something else to blame Tim for."_

_"Well, yeah, kinda…sorta…"_

_"Just wish you'd have asked me about it instead."_

_"Gibbs, you told me those boats …."_

_"Not a replacement for you, Anthony. Meant it when I said I didn't need that outlet anymore."_

_"Then…?"_

_".. Needed something to focus on while I tried to figure out how to fix what's been broken on my team, Tony. Still do__."  
_

Hearing those words, spoken from the depths of the older man's soul reverberate through his brain shook Tony worse now than they had the first time. He'd never meant to hurt the man by accusing him of replacing him with the boat and he wished with all his might now that he'd asked questions then, instead of - as Gibbs stated - jumped to conclusions.

Breathing out a deep sigh, he sat back against the couch, letting his head fall back against the leather that gave beneath the weight. Closing his suspiciously wet eyes, he willed his mind to shut down for a minute. He needed to pull this thing together piece by piece, not this jumbled tangled mess he couldn't make heads nor tails of.

"…_I don't get why you're not pissed at McGee. We couldn't find him or even get a hold of him Friday night. He's been acting high and mighty all week; throwing this power you've for some unknown reason given him, around like he runs the place now, deciding for himself whether or not he goes out in the field with us? And he's been ignoring you and me all week!"_

_"Anything else?" _

_"What?" _

_"What else are you pissed at Tim about?"_

_"Everything's so….different now."_

_"And you think Tim's responsible." _

_"Well yeah, but I'm guessing by your tone and all the times you sided with him this week, that you don't."_

_"Answer me one question, Tony."_

_"Okay."_

_"What has he done that makes him responsible? And responsible for what, exactly?"_

_…"C'mon, Gibbs! You know what he's responsible for! He ruined one of the most incredible moments of my life; of our relationship Friday night – then – as if that wasn't bad enough, he costs us four hours later that night by deliberately being where we couldn't find him or even reach him! The rest of the weekend went to hell in a hand basket! What el…"_

_"Did it?" _

_"Did it what?"_

_"That's not exactly the way I remember that weekend."_

_"Gibbs. I… "_

_"Spend a minute in his shoes, Tony. Turn this around and tell me how you'd feel if you'd walked in on Tim and I –in that moment - if we'd kept it a secret from you for three months– while treating you like crap at work for no reason."_

_"Okay, I get it. Really, I do. But, it sounds like you don't think he's done ant…."_

_"What he has done, Tony – is handle it with dignity and respect – for our privacy and his own right not to be humiliated. Gotta respect him a hell of a lot for that."_

_"So he hasn't said anything to anyone?" _

_"Nope. Disappointed you would think he would. Should know him better than that by now."_

_"God, I've been such an ass to him." _

_"Yeah, ya have."_

_"Gee, Thanks, Gibbs."_

_"Can't argue with the truth, Tony. Question is, what are you gonna do about it?"_

_"You've seen how he's been towards me – won't give me the time of day"_

_"Never stopped you before."_

_"Never exactly been in this situation before, Gibbs." _

_"I know. Gonna let that stop ya?"_

_"No. No, I'm not. DiNozzo's don't lay down and play dead like this!"_

_"Didn't think so." _

_"I didn't really forget about Saturday, ya know. There's no way I ever could – it was one of my most memorable days ever."_

_"I know._

Tony shook his head sadly. Damn! That tender moment had almost gotten lost among all the crap that happened since then!_ He'd have to hang on to that one!_

With a frown, he realized some of his earlier thoughts had come back as well and now added their weight to the situation:

_Three months!__ That's all he and Gibbs had had together and damn it, he'd been so sure they'd have a hell of a lot longer together than this! This hurt! This hurt so bad, Tony didn't think he'd ever forgive Probie for this. This was worse than anything he'd ever done to prank Tim with because this was real and this was supposed to have been for keeps and this wasn't something that was ever supposed to be known to anyone else because this was Tony's one place in life where no one could or would hurt him._

_And what about Gibbs? Didn't the man deserve to be happy? Didn't he deserve to be with someone he wanted to be with; someone he'd found peace and happiness and even pleasure with? What right does McGee have to take that away from the silver haired former Marine who'd already been beaten down by life and in more painful ways than any one man deserved to be?_

Suddenly he couldn't think on it any more. His head hurt almost as much as his heart and he didn't think he could go through one more minute of reliving any of this. Almost angrily, he got to his feet and stuffed his feet into his running shoes as he grabbed his keys and wallet with identification and left. With no set place in mind, he forced himself to start running, deliberately refusing to think about anything except his next footfall and the one after that.

*****NCIS******

Gibbs frowned as he sat drinking his morning coffee, the morning newspaper sprawled open on the table in front of him, unread. He couldn't concentrate on anything this morning; couldn't get over Tim refusing to talk to him last night. He knew the young man was upset and with good reason. After listening to everything Abby had said; to Tim the other night; to himself and Tony last night, there was no doubt in his mind that he and his youngest agent needed to talk things out. _But, how to do that when, as Tim himself said to Abby, that for them to do that would seem weird_; _when the guy himself had said no?_ _Was he supposed to push his authoritative weight around and force Tim into a conversation he obviously didn't want?_ The very idea of it stuck in his craw and while that in itself was unusual, this overwhelming concern for the state of things between himself and Tim was as well and it was taking some serious getting used to.

Then there was Tony. Their relationship now seemed unstable at best and that was not only worrisome but completely mind boggling as well. Gibbs had thought the relationship to be a solid one but even with less than time listening to Abby's frank words than he'd spent thinking on things, he now wasn't sure of anything in regards to Tony. He knew the younger man depended on Gibbs' strength even at home and while it had been satisfying to be needed like that, it had nagged at the back of his mind that it wasn't necessarily healthy for either of them.

He'd just chosen to ignore that worry so long as they were able to be there for each other in whatever way worked for the both of them. That sense of being connected that way and feeling like things were right between them kept them going. Then there were the emotions that he was barely willing to label yet unwilling to deny that he felt for the younger man. He knew he cared for him greatly, loved him even, yet it was as if there were an unfinished part of that bond that somehow just wouldn't cement completely. He hadn't yet figured out why.

While he cherished every intimate moment with the younger man, it had been like pulling teeth to get Tony to learn to be relaxed enough to get comfortable with things; spontaneity, wildness, gentleness and even silence. It seemed like Tony had thrived on throwing up the walls almost as fast as Gibbs could work to tear them down. Frankly, the older man had been growing weary of the struggle. He wasn't sure he could do it anymore.

It wasn't that he was willing or ready to give up on Tony; that would never happen. But Gibbs had his own inner struggles that he'd continued to try to work through and having to focus all his energy and concerns on Tony had shifted the balancing act he'd been doing and caused things to resettle – and not necessarily in a way that made things comfortable for the older man. Most days now, it was as if he were fighting to be two different people. And that was definitely _not _something he could live with for very long. It wasn't in his nature to be someone different for anyone else. He had always been true to himself and the hell with anyone who didn't like it. Until Tony had found his way inside, that is.

Thinking hard about things now, though, forced him to refocus, albeit briefly, on that part of himself he'd shackled recently in order to be what Tony had needed him to be. Suddenly, Gibbs was tired of trying to fit this new mold in place of the original. He didn't have the desire to do it anymore. He was fine with how he was, even with the new things he'd discovered he needed to accept and the ones he needed to change.

With a sigh of tiredness, he blinked and wiped his hands across his face as his mind kept ruthlessly ploughing through the fields of truths and untested thoughts left untended until now. He knew things needed to change between himself and Tony but finding a genteel way to slow things down, to maybe back things up enough that neither of them continued to feel pressured about any part of the relationship between them; well, that seemed like the necessary move to make. He just wasn't sure how to go about it. What's more, he wasn't sure Tony would understand.

This mess he had made with both his boys and the seemingly endless supply of truths and revelations that had come from it, had shown him that he was Team Leader first, lover to one of his agents second and although it hurt to have to admit it, he couldn't see any other way to make this work. He'd promised Tony that it was a choice he wouldn't make. But, he realized now, it was a promise he never should have made and one he couldn't keep. He hoped and prayed this decision wouldn't destroy Tony. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened.


	20. Chapter 20

Sunday dawned dark and dreary with thunderstorms that had been splitting the air from as early as five in the morning. It left no room for the desire to step foot outside at all as the weather worsened as time went on. Awakened by the relentless thunder booming outside and the flashes of lightening that illuminated the sky, Tim rolled out of bed and made a beeline for his coffee maker, hesitantly glancing at its neon red display that confirmed it was just way too early on a weekend to think about being up. 5:30 AM. _Jeez_.

As his coffee was brewing, he stepped into the shower but was quick to be done, casting aside the idea of shaving, in favor of getting to his coffee quicker. Sitting down in his comfortable chair in his small living room and savoring the heat from his filled coffee mug as well as the aroma of the freshly brewed dose of caffeine he needed, Tim couldn't help but smile as he savored not only his first cup of morning coffee, but also the memory of a very nice yesterday, spent in the company of one Ziva Da'vid. After they had finished breakfast together, she had talked him into going out for the day, hiking and sightseeing, since the day was supposed to be one filled with beautiful weather.

Laughing quietly to himself now, Tim recalled their quiet trail blazing morning and even quieter picnic lunch she had surprised him with. It had been a difficult day only because of the butterflies in his stomach that would not settle down. His long-standing habit of always saying the wrong thing worried him almost into nausousness. The last thing he ever wanted to do was alienate her by saying something wrong. Never in a million years, would he have ever thought the two of them would ever be spending time together outside of work like they'd been doing yesterday but he hadn't been about to complain or pass up the opportunity to spend time with Ziva or build on their already strong friendship. It hadn't hurt that she'd never once approached the subject of what was building into a tempestuous storm at work. For that, he'd been profoundly grateful.

With another booming clap of thunder sounding outside his windows, Tim's thoughts seemed to turn of their own accord to that other brewing storm. While he preferred it if the subject of his walking in on those moments between Gibbs and Tony was never brought up again, he realized that would only happen once he'd actually addressed the issue with the both of them; regardless of how distasteful he found it or hated the idea. Having come to that realization as he watched Tony become more and more silently hostile and withdrawn over the last week, Tim now resigned himself to the reality. It was something that needed to be done. _But how to do it so that once would be enough?_

**_*****NCIS*****_**

Awakened by the ruthless booming thunder, Gibbs was soon showered, dressed and enjoying his morning coffee and newspaper even if the silence that surrounded him was strange and approaching lonely. He'd been here before but the last three months had taken that loneliness from him. Having it back seemed almost like stepping back in time. No, that wasn't true. He could never erase these last three months and he had no desire to do that. Still something his brain had focused on last night was bothering him now. Setting the newspaper down that he hadn't been able to focus on, his brain immediately brought to the forefront of his concentration that thought that now didn't seem right.

_"... if he screws this up for us, I'm never gonna forgive him."_

_"He won't, Tony. Not on purpose. Not his style."_

Nope, that wasn't what was bothering him. He'd been right about Tim in that aspect and he'd known that without a doubt. No, it was something else in that conversation that was bugging him now. What was it Tony had said?

_"I can't take any more failure in my personal life, Gibbs. I just can't."_

_"Not gonna happen, Anthony."_

_"Even if you have to choose between having us at home or at work?"_

_"Even then."_

There! That was it! He'd promised Tony that Gibbs having to make that choice, if it came down do it, wouldn't become a personal failure for the younger man; NOT that it was a choice he wouldn't make or wouldn't have to make! The Team Leader felt his heart drop, his eyes closing as it hit him. The fact was that, THAT was the promise he never should have made and one he couldn't keep. He found himself hoping, once more, just as he did the night before, that this turn of events wouldn't destroy Tony. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened and what's more; he knew Abby was right. Tim would blame himself and the young man would never forgive himself. It was something he didn't know how to keep from happening, just as his making the choice he knew he had to make, was.

Without even thinking about it, he got up from the table and headed down to his basement. His gut was telling him Tony wasn't coming back today. Suddenly, he needed something to do that would keep his hands as busy as his mind was. He hadn't been this glad to have a boat to work on in a long time.

*****NCIS******

Abby woke up with a surprising sense of being disorientated as she sat up in a bed that wasn't hers. Looking around the room, it suddenly came back to her. She'd spent the night at Ducky's after not only spending a long time talking with him, but also the remainder of the day just hanging out with him and eventually having dinner with him. After a nice dinner they'd played backgammon until it gotten late enough that Ducky had urged Abby to accept the invitation to sleep in his guest room. Laying her head back against the headboard with a couple of pillows stuffed behind her head, she closed her eyes and thought back to what she and the wise older man had talked about yesterday.

_"Abigail why are you so upset my dear?"_

_"Oh, Ducky! I really did it this time! I don't think Timmy will EVER forgive me now."_

_"Now my dear, you and I both know full well that Timothy is much more forgiving than most."_

_"Yeah, but this time's different. I know it is."_

_"Why don't you take a breath, my dear and calm yourself. Then tell me what's happened to put you in this state."_

Unconsciously, a smile came to Abby's face as she thought back to Ducky's concern that she calm down. He could always be counted on to care about their mental health even when they'd brought whatever crisis they were going through, down on themselves. Even as she'd recounted what had brought her to him needing to talk, Abby recalled, he'd maintained his look of caring objectivity.

_***FLASHBCK***_

_"Oh, dear. Am I to assume that you're coming to me to discuss this means you already believed I knew of this?" _

_"Oh, God! I just did it again, didn't I? You're right, Ducky, I did think you knew, I mean this is Gibbs and he and you are like really close, right?"_

_"Ah, I see. Well, Abigail, in the future, might I suggest that you exhibit quite a bit more restraint when discussing the private affairs of others. In fact, I would rather you learn and rather quickly, my dear, not to do so at all. Surely, you can understand why Timothy would be most upset with you."_

_"That's just it, Ducky. I don't understand; at all! He should be grateful that it's all out in the open now and he doesn't have to be the one to air it out - because he'll reap the benefits of Gibbs and Tony being told those cold hard truths that they needed to hear." Abby defended herself._

_"Oh, Abigail." _

_***End Flashback***_

With a sad sigh, Abby stopped dwelling on everything and got out of bed. She'd promised Ducky she'd spend the day staying busy and keeping her mind open to thinking this through even further and now that she'd been given the ever-helpful guidance of the older man, she knew that specific task would be easier. Making sure to clean up after herself as she went though her daily motions of putting herself together for whatever today would bring, she was soon all packed up and ready to go as she carried her overnight bag out to the front door before going to join Ducky for breakfast. It was going to be a great day and she was determined not to let anything ruin it for her, or for her, to ruin anyone else's day at that.

*****NCIS******

Hearing the almost whisper quiet closing of his front door upstairs much later in the day, Gibbs set his tools down and stepped over to his drawer where he kept his piece.

"You will not need that, I hope." Ziva's quiet words broke through his loudly beating heart almost deafening him.

"Ziva." He breathed out in relief as he left the gun where it lay and closed the drawer back up, turning to face her as he did. "What's on your mind?"

"I came because I need an answer."

"What's the question?"

"You."

The Team Leader couldn't stop the quirk from escaping into a slight grin as it crossed his face, even while he gestured for her to take a seat on the steps while he dragged his stool close and sat down on it. "Go on."

Instead of sitting down as she'd been bid, Ziva paced, obviously too upset to sit still. After a long silent minute where she pulled her thoughts together, she stopped pacing and glared at him warily as she spoke her mind. "Did you and Tony set out to deliberately taunt McGee with your relationship at work and hurt him needlessly?"

Gibbs blinked and looked away from her. He knew she wasn't demanding this answer from him as her boss but was asking as someone who cared deeply for McGee as not only a teammate but as a friend. Ziva had lost much in her life, more people that she loved than anyone of them could count, and she took her friendships very seriously. Standing up, he retraced his steps to his workbench, poured himself a drink of bourbon, and swallowed it down before turning to face her again.

"You think it was deliberate."

That statement in lieu of a question, spoke volumes of how hard her question hit him. With the long-standing battle of trust between she and Gibbs over the situation with Ari and her father, it struck a very sensitive chord within him that Ziva was now questioning her ability to trust him and trust that he would not have done such a thing to one of her teammates and friends.

As she stood looking at him, trying to read through his expression and body language just as he usually did her and the others on their team, she hoped he understood exactly what her reasons for questioning him on this personal level were. Trying to explain herself as clearly as she could, she spoke again. "You treat him much more coldly than you do the rest of us and you allow Tony to mistreat him with alarming regularity."

"You've been talkin' to Abby." Another statement, this time said in a tone that left no doubt he wasn't taking this lightly.

"I want to be wrong." She told him bluntly, deliberately ignoring the topic of Abby since her focus and reason for being here was Tim. "For Tim's sake, I _need_ to be wrong."

Looking her straight on, he put what honest emotion he could into his answer without laying himself bare.

"I give you my word, Ziva. You're wrong."


	21. Chapter 21

The beginning of the work week came round quickly as always. It was relentless and without favoritism to team Gibbs and dragged each one of them ruthlessly out of their warm comfortable bed and into the frantic rat race ran by humans every Monday morning. By the usual start time of the work day, all bar one of the MRCT was accounted for and present at their assigned work stations and the three that had made it into work that morning, took note as they began their duties.

Gibbs hadn't spared either Ziva or Tim much of a glance or even much more than a brief 'good morning' when they'd come in. Still reeling from the mentally exhausting weekend, he found himself hoping that it would be a day without problems. He hadn't spoken to Tim since the young man had come to his house Friday night, just to let him know face to face that Ziva now knew that he and Tony were together.

With a heavy heart and his gut clenched with the knowledge that the weekend long silence from his lover was more significant beneath the surface than it appeared to be at face value, he admitted to himself that the note Tony had left him had been simple and clear. Even with that realization settling in his gut, Gibbs took the stairs to Vance's office, two at a time when seven-fifteen came around with no sign of his Senior Field Agent. While it wasn't unusual for him to be a little late, this felt different and if he were to listen to his gut, a little bit off.

*****NCIS*****

Ziva watched Gibbs head up to the Director's Level after barely speaking two words to her or to Tim. Almost immediately, she was on her feet, heading over to Tim's desk. "McGee."

At the sound of her voice, he looked away from his emails and offered an abbreviated answer. "Mmm"?

"Tony has not yet arrived and it is almost 0730."

Tim offered a small smile. "Okay." He tried to sound nonchalant since it hadn't been long enough yet to have reason to worry about his absence.

"Are you not concerned?" Ziva asked in surprise.

"Ziva, he's a little late often enough that Gibbs doesn't even worry about him until he's at least an hour late."

"Well, Gibbs is worried now." She answered with all seriousness, drawing his attention completely away from his work now.

"What are you talking about?" Tim asked in genuine confusion.

"Gibbs just went up to Director Vance's office and he was definitely worried'"

"Tony will turn up. He always does. Any minute now, he'll come waltzing in here asking if we missed him and acting all put out if we say no. He's done it a dozen times." The young man reminded her calmly before returning his attention to his work.

"There was a time, McGee, that you would be concerned enough about him that you would have already been tracing his cell phone, looking for him and not simply sitting back and waiting for him to just turn up." Ziva reproached him almost sternly. "Have you become so angry with him that you no longer care what happens to him?"

Tim looked over at her, hurt in his eyes that she would think that of him. "Times have changed Ziva. Tony's got Gibbs to look out for him now. It's not my place to have his back off the clock anymore."

Blinking in surprise at where he had just taken the conversation, Ziva tried to redirect it. "McGee, that is not wha..."

"Ziva, please! Don't ask me to get in the middle of this." He implored as he watched for her to get what it was he was not saying but clearly needed her to understand.

Looking back at him with careful scrutiny, she finally nodded in agreement as she seemed to comprehend what it was he couldn't say. "You are right. I apologise."

With an encouraging smile that offered understanding and mutual forgiveness, Tim reassured her "No apology needed. I'm sure we'll hear something soon."

*****NCIS*****

"You just let him go?" Gibbs demanded angrily as he stood in front of Leon Vance's desk, glaring at the man with enough fury to melt the wood that separated them from each other.

"He didn't exactly give me a choice, Gibbs." Vance replied dryly. "Apparently DiNozzo came in here Saturday night, typed up the request and sent it through his email to the proper channels, along with a personal note to me stating he was so serious he wasn't going to be here regardless of my decision. And unless you want me to write him up, transfer him or fire him, I suggest we just let him have this emergency leave so he can deal with whatever it is that brought this on."

Huffing out a breath of aggravation, Gibbs looked down at the piece of paper in his hand that he'd been handed upon his arrival in Vance's office not five minutes before. While it explained Tony's absence, it did little to make the Team Leader feel any better about things. Knowing this hastily requested 2-week vacation was the explanation why he hadn't heard from the younger man since Saturday night when he'd left Gibbs' house, it left a hole in Gibbs' heart that Tony had been hurting bad enough that he'd felt the need to disappear like this.

"I suggest we relax and let him be, Gibbs. We can't take his explanation lightly.

Finding Tony's explanation _'exigent circumstances due to stress and job burnout_.' on the typed page in his hand, Gibbs couldn't argue the point. "I know." He replied quietly as he handed Leon back the request from his Senior Field Agent. Turning on his heel, he headed out, desperately in need of some coffee and the chance to think.

*****NCIS*****

Twenty minutes later, the Team Leader arrived back in the squad room bearing drinks for Tim and Ziva as well as his own. Setting theirs down on their respective desks without disturbing them while they worked, he wasn't surprised to hear Ziva verbally thank him but he was surprised when Tim did. Hearing the young man's voiced appreciation made him realize yet again, that Tim was still trying to keep things normal between them.

Still, with Tony's absence and the lack of a fresh call out, the time to talk things out with the younger man seemed ripe. Realizing that Tim could still refuse, Gibbs set his mind to take care of this now. With that thought in mind, he remained standing in front of his youngest agent's desk, knowing he'd look up and listen to what he had to say.

Tim had already felt the beginnings of wariness clench in his gut earlier when Ziva first mentioned Tony's lateness. Now that the boss had brought them both back a drink and not one for Tony, Tim didn't know what to think, except that whatever Tony's not being here meant, wasn't good. Seeing Gibbs standing at the front of his desk waiting, with much the same expectation on his face as the last time this scenario played out like this, Tim sighed and stood up and followed the man out, not even willing to drag it out this time.

_****NCIS****_

Tony stared up at the ceiling of his hotel room, Ducky's words of advice replaying over and over in his head.

_"Do you understand that until you are ready to look at this from Timothy's perspective, you cannot expect things to improve between you and Jethro and that as unlikely as you believe it to be; the struggle you are having with yourself about Timothy is very troubling indeed to the man who is Team Leader to you both?" _

Tony sighed loudly into the otherwise eerily silent room. _McGee's perspective. What the hell is that, anyway? How the hell was he supposed to know what Probie's perspective on what he saw that night, would be? He and the kid weren't all that tight. They didn't know each other well enough to… oh, who the hell was he kidding? He did know McGee enough to know he'd trust him with his life on the job and that he was the most honest person he knew on the face of the planet next to Ducky. _Tony cringed. _Yeah, he knew Tim McGee. He knew that the guy still carried a torch for Abby and still took everything their lab rat dished out_.

_Well, hell!_ Tony got to his feet and began pacing as his serious train of thought brought with it a restlessness he couldn't control. _What else did he know about the man who'd somehow taken center-stage of his thoughts? He knew McGee still took everything Tony still dished out too, although he was doing a heck of a lot of giving back than he used to do. He also knew the younger man never wanted anyone he cared about to hurt or even go through hard times over something he'd said or done The kid took on blame like a prized shirt and quicker than anyone could ever intervene. He also knew the guy was as compassionate as they came; a bleeding heart._

___"Spend a minute in his shoes, Tony. Turn this around and tell me how you'd feel if you'd walked in on Tim and I – in that moment - if we'd kept it a secret from you for three months– while treating you like crap at work for no reason."_

_Ducky's right ! So then why, am I sittin' here so damned pissed at Probie? Hell, all the kid did was walk in on something that shouldn't have been goin on at work in the first place! What the hell's wrong with me? __Hell I should be thanking him ,__the way he went in on his own free weekend the morning after the revelation, for cryin' out loud. Come on! He even covered our asses. Why the hell am I way out here in left field about this mess? What the hell is wrong with me? Is this why Gibbs' pulled away from me? Is this why it's over between us?_

_"Jethro may be in an intimate relationship with you, Anthony, but that does not remove him from feeling responsible and caring for Timothy as an individual and as a valued member of his team."_

_Oh, crap! Gibbs was right! McGee didn't ruin us. I did!_

"Damn it!" Tony exclaimed angrily, flinching as the sound of his own voice bounced off the walls and came back to him in stereo. Impatiently, he wiped a tired hand across his eyes, finding himself feeling even angrier when he felt the dampness on his hand now.

With shaking hands, he pulled out his cell phone and punched the speed dial number he needed.

"Hey, you got a minute? I _really _need to talk to you."


	22. Chapter 22

_Seeing Gibbs standing at the front of his desk waiting, with much the same expectation on his face as the last time this scenario played out like this, Tim sighed and stood up and followed the man out, not even willing to drag it out this time_.

With a silent nod of appreciation for Tim's silent capitulation, Gibbs led the way this time, to the back elevator and after a silent trip down to the evidence garage, an equally silent trek out to the street beyond the office building. Leading the way, the boss walked to the bench away from people and noise, where they could talk without being overheard or disturbed. With both men cradling their fresh cups of coffee, neither felt the need to immediately destroy the peace and quiet they had brought with them to this neutral ground.

Having put the pieces of this puzzle together with a little more visual acuity than he'd had a mere thirty minutes ago, Tim found he could no longer stand the silence or what it was Gibbs couldn't find a way to tell him. "How long?" He chose to ask in order to break the silence as well as the cork on the bottle of everything the boss was trying so hard to keep to himself.

The only response he got to his question was the man's patented raise of the eyebrows that directed the conversational ball be kept rolling without his verbal participation.

"Tony's not a quitter and he's not missing or we'd already be out looking for him. So that means he's taking some time off."

"Two weeks." Came Gibbs' almost too quiet reply as he brought his coffee cup up and took a long drink from it.

"And his reason is serious enough that there's no doubt it stems from the fact that I witnessed something he, by all rights, should have been able to forever cherish, but now can't even bear thinking about because I ruined it for him." Tim stated flatly, letting it be known outright that he knew exactly what was going on and why.

As he brought his cup back down, Gibbs blinked, unsure what startled him more, Tim's on the spot assessment of the situation, the young man's blunt explanation or his flat tone that spoke volumes of how settled the guilt already was on the young man's shoulders. Not knowing how else to diffuse the very situation he'd asked his youngest agent to come out here and talk about, the Team Leader quickly drew on his standard method; managing to remain within his comfort zone, knowing that would, in turn, help Tim remain in his. "Not your fault."

"Isn't it?" Tim asked with unmistakable disbelief. "You can't honestly believe that if I'd just somehow ignored how that affected me, that we'd even be having this conversation. Or that your Senior Field Agent would be anywhere but here right now."

"That what you think? That you being hit over the head with it like that somehow makes it your fault?"

Tim got to his feet and walked to the railing overlooking the water. He couldn't wrap his head around this part of the boss he wasn't accustomed to seeing; at least, not directed his way.

"Had a lot of time to think on things since that night, Tim." Gibbs quiet voice coming from just over his shoulder surprised the younger man. "Also had a lot of truths laid out; things I've been too blind to notice before."

The only thing Tim could think of to say in response to that; was nothing. _What could he say? Hell, he couldn't even find the words; much less put them into a sentence!_ The direction in which this conversation seemed to be headed was long overdue, but that didn't mean Tim was ready for it or that he even wanted it. He didn't want this new side of Gibbs because he'd never seen it for a long enough period for it to have been real in those moments and the adjustment back to the real Gibbs had always been harsh. There was nothing to show him that this time would be different. Goodness knows he didn't need some superficial conversation designed to pat him on the head just to make him feel better!

"I really need to get back to work." Tim tried to extricate himself from what was fast becoming too serious of a conversation.

"McGee..."

Tim clamped his mouth shut, refusing to allow himself to give in and have this conversation. He didn't need this; a moment of this man's concern undoubtedly to be followed with years of unconcern. He'd had it before; repeatedly, truth be told. He didn't need to go through it again. Down deep, it had always felt like another knife thrust of rejection, just as he'd gotten from his father. What's more, he knew he was the reason Tony had gone off the grid and what made it worse was his deep conviction that this was the proof that he, Tim McGee, had unintentionally managed to rip that relationship apart.

"I'd like to get back to work now." Tim stated calmly as he turned to head back without waiting for the older man's reply.

"Cold Case can wait, McGee." Gibbs asserted before his agent could get very far.

Tim stopped and blinked as he tried to find the words he needed to stop this painful journey through the minefield he had deliberately done his damnedest to leave the hell alone from the moment he'd tripped over it last Friday night. Finally, he turned his head back in Gibbs' direction and shook it in denial of the man's claim. "I can't do this."

With a frown of discontent, Gibbs nodded in unwilling agreement that he wouldn't push any further and watched as Tim quickly made his escape back to the building. _How in the hell could he fix this or even begin trying if Tim wouldn't even let him in? Wouldn't even talk to him?_ With a blink of an eye and a deep breath taken in and slowly let out, the conversation with Ducky that had hit him the hardest came back to him vividly now.

_We all know that Timothy safeguards his feelings almost as well as Anthony safeguards his secrets and the real facts of his private life. You may think you read Timothy well, but the fact is, my friend, you can only read what he is unable to hide – which only happens when he is truly upset and cannot think to put it under wraps."_

_"So the look in his eyes last night…"_

_"Was most likely exactly what you read it to be, the look of feeling betrayed by two of the men he trusts most in his life."His feelings are genuine and if I understand the answer you truly seek here, then the answer is yes; his feelings of having been betrayed do have merit"_

*****NCIS*****

"_Hey, you got a minute? I really need to talk to you."_

Ducky adjusted the phone against his ear as he smiled softly. "Certainly, Anthony. I take it this call means you are not here at work this morning?" As he asked the question, the M.E. took himself into his office and sat down at his desk.

"_No, I'm taking two weeks off to pull myself together. It'll give everybody some space, too."_

"By everybody, I take it you are referring to Jethro and Timothy. And while I find that admirable, I can't help but wonder, Anthony if you're alright."

"_I'm fine, Ducky."_Tony's tired voice came across the phone line with barely enough volume to be heard.

"Well, young man. I highly doubt that to be the case or we would not be having this conversation, would we?"

Tony chuckled softly. _"Guess you got me there, Doc."_

"Why don't you tell me what led you to call me this morning, dear boy? I'd like to be of help if I can."

"_Thanks, Ducky. I knew I could count on you."_

"You certainly may, but I'm afraid I won't be able to be of any help to you if I don't know what the problem is that has led you to call me, Anthony."

"_Yeah, I …about that. It's been days since Abby's rant and Gibbs and I argued but I still can't think straight for longer than five minutes at time without it getting all jumbled again, can't figure out which way is up through this mess."_

"Why don't you begin by telling me some of the things that keep crossing your mind, Anthony? Perhaps we can wade through this together, at least far enough to possibly guide you toward your next step in fixing things with Timothy and possibly Jethro, at least."

Tony's sigh was audible over the phone line. "_I'd really appreciate it Ducky. You sure you have the time?"_

"Do not worry yourself for one minute on that score. I have all the time you need, dear fellow. I feel it is important that you be able to have the help you've asked for."

As Tony began to relay everything that had been going through his mind since this mess had started that fateful night, Ducky listened with apt attention, giving the young man on the other end of the phone, the outlet he needed to get it all off his chest at long last. The M.E. knew that until Tony had at least done that much, he wouldn't be able to see the forest for the trees and begin to find his way back.

_*****NCIS*****_

Tim returned to the building, but headed straight downstairs, away from the possibility of Gibbs pressuring him further, at least for the time being. As he stepped over the threshold of his destination, he found it eerily empty and quiet, until his ears picked up the sound of a muffled voice, in what seemed to be a one-sided conversation. With a few more silent steps in the direction of what he was hearing, the voice became discernable.

""_Why don't you begin by telling me some of the things that keep crossing your mind, Anthony? Perhaps we can wade through this together, at least far enough to possibly guide you toward your next step in fixing things with Timothy and possibly Jethro, at least."_

Blinking in surprise as his breath drew up sharply, Tim's heart beat loudly in his ears. Without a second thought, not waiting to hear any more, he quickly left the room and hit the stairs, climbing up to his newest destination of choice.

*****NCIS*****

Ziva glared at the time displayed on her computer screen. Gibbs and Tim had been gone for a while and for some reason, that realization did not give her a good feeling about the situation. She knew Tim did not want to discuss this matter and yet it had become obvious that Gibbs was determined to get the young man to do just that, regardless.

Before she could think any more about the unsettling manner in which Gibbs was handling this mess, the elevator dinged, announcing the arrival of someone, Ziva found herself gravitating her attention in that direction, hoping it was Tim returning unscathed. When Gibbs was the one who exited the box with no Tim in sight, she felt that concern flicker to life as it coursed through her. However, it was the boss man's own pause as he caught sight of Tim's empty desk that caused her to believe there was agenuine need to be worried.

"Where's McGee?" Gibbs asked without actually growling at her, although he did glare at her as if she were responsible for the young man's absence.

"I do not know, Gibbs. I believed he was with you." She answered calmly, unshaken by his mood.

Without answering her, Gibbs strode from the squad room, tossing his empty coffee cup into his trashcan with an angry flip of his wrist as he went by.

*****NCIS*****

Tim heaved out a sigh and straightened up his shoulders as he headed back to his desk. He would love to stop and talk to Abby – but she'd see right through his complete frustration and vulnerability right now. The truth was that if Gibbs even so much as glanced at him with that look one more time, Tim wasn't sure he would be able to hold back any longer; too much was being held in for the sake of keeping the peace, and trying to move on and get past it. With a mental head slap, he forced himself to refocus so he could get back to work and get through the day.

Ziva saw Tim coming around the corner at his desk and rose to walk over to him. "Tim. You are alright, yes?"

The young man stopped short and looked at her as she approached him. "Why, is something wrong?" He questioned with concern of his own.

"I am hoping not. But you were gone with Gibbs for quite a while and then he came back without you…."

Tim couldn't hold back the small smile that graced his expression at what she was admitting to having been thinking. "Ziva. Gibbs would never hurt me like that."

"Well, no. he would not. However…"

"Thank you. But, you don't have anything to worry about."

"So then you are alright?"

"I'm fine." Tim promised even as the tension he was still feeling seemed to radiate from him.

"You do not need to den…" Ziva attempted to break through Tim's barriers.

"Ziva. I promise. I'm fine. But thank you for worrying." Tim offered with enough firmness mixed with appreciation that there was no bite to his answer.

"Good." Ziva huffed out indignantly. "That is the way it should be." She strode back to her desk and put her attention back to the files there, nothing further being said between them. Although convinced he was NOT fine, she would not push. That was a lesson that had already been learned since this entire situation had come to light. She wanted to be there for him when he needed someone to listen and that wouldn't happen if she pushed him away now by demanding he admit to something he obviously didn't want to speak of.

Tim shook his head with a tiny huff of a laugh and took himself to his own workstation so he too could get busy with work.

_*****NCIS*****_

"_Now do you see why I can't make sense of this, Ducky?"_

"Quite truthfully, Anthony, I do see that there is an awful lot going on inside your mind that will not easily be sorted out. I would like to make a suggestion if I may." The M.E. replied seriously. "One I believe will be most beneficial to you, dear boy."

"_You're gonna tell me to go back to my therapist, aren't you?"_

"Yes, Anthony, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I suggest that you do." Ducky smile d ruefully. "Your therapist should prove to be invaluable as you work towards a reconciliation."

"_You really think that's possible? A reconciliation?"_

"Absolutely! You and your team have been through some dreadful times together and yet you remain together."

"_We do, don't we?"_

"Yes indeed. When you consider all of you've gone through together as you've worked through years of cases, it's a no surprise that your team is as tightly knit as it is,

"_Was."_

"Yes, Anthony and it can be again, I'm sure."

"_Guess we'll find out when I get back, huh?"_

"Now, Anthony. Do try to be positive about this, won't you? Why don't you call me when you've done as I've suggested. I do wish to be kept informed of how things are going for you."

"_I can do that. Thanks, Ducky. "_

"Anytime, young man, anytime." Ducky hung up his cell phone and stared at it for a long minute.

"He okay, Duck?" Gibbs' voice came from the office doorway.


	23. Chapter 23

_We aplogise for the delay in updating. Updates should be quicker after this._

_Enjoy!_

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_"Now, Anthony. Do try to be positive about this, won't you? Why don't you call me when you've done as I've suggested. I do wish to be kept informed of how things are going for you…Anytime, young man, anytime." Ducky hung up his cell phone and stared at it for a long minute._

_"He okay, Duck?" Gibbs' voice came from the office doorway._

The M.E. looked up from his phone with a frown at the realization that the Team Leader had overheard a part of that conversation. Anthony had undoubtedly reached out**;** not just for any voice of reason but for one he knew would keep his confidence. "He is as well as can be expected under the circumstances, Jethro and I'll thank you for not mentioning you heard any of that."

Gibbs nodded with a silent understanding as his eyes moved away from his friend and fixed themselves on the couch across the room. He knew he wouldn't be able to drag anymore information out of the older man who'd long ago become his own confidant at times, and understood that Ducky was the one person who would keep things to himself; the older man was simply too good a friend not too.

"I presume that the reason for your visit is because you are in need of my opinion about something. Since there is no active case for your team at the moment, I can't help but think that this might mean you have managed to talk things out with young Timothy and you now find yourself unsure of where to turn?"

Gibbs shook his head. "It's the damnedest thing, Duck. Kid actually stood his ground and refused to talk to me! He's surprised the hell outta me with this."

"Jethro, we are all well aware of just how stubborn Timothy can be when he sets his mind on something he firmly believes in. It's perfectly understandable that he is refusing to be pushed into a conversation he simply is not ready to have."

"Not sure that's all there is to it, Duck." The Team Leader shook his head briefly and frowned.

"Oh?" Ducky was surprised by the open display of hurt on his friends face. "And what brings you to that conclusion?"

"Ya know there was a time when he would have caved in and told me everything I asked him to the first time I asked."

"And now he has grown comfortable enough with who he is that he stands by his decisions, even if and when they defy your directives. He stands all the taller for it, I might add. Surely you've noticed the inner strength Timothy has gained over the years? Quite a different young man you're dealing with now than the last time you attempted to converse with him, I'd say." The older man surmised with a dose of pride for the young agent in question. It was clouded slightly by the small bit of sympathy he felt as he watched his old friend attempt to accept the fact that Tim McGee had indeed developed into a strong, confident young man right before his eyes and he hadn't even noticed.

"C'mon, Duck! It hasn't been that long!" Gibbs denied defensively after a beat.

"According to Anthony's report of what he has nicknamed '_Abby's rant_', you have not once in all these years attempted to do so, my friend." The M.E. hadn't intended his statement to sound as harsh but he did want to make certain the chastisement got the point across. Gibbs simply hadn't given Tim the support he offered freely to the others.

Gibbs quirked his eyebrows in silent question, not sure what his friend was referring to.

"Something about…and I quote… her 'reaming you out'? Apparently, when Abigail became aware of his presence, she turned her ire in his direction**.** From what I heard, that was followed by an ear-splitting confrontation, the likes of which required your trademark whistle to restore order to the fray?" Ducky offered with a rueful small smile.

Gibbs sighed and nodded reluctantly "That about sums it up." After a pause, he continued on, deliberately turning the conversation away from that rather painful episode that he didn't want to think about; at least not right now. " Need you to talk to McGee, Duck."

"Oh? What about?" Ducky was mildly confused at the request and folded his arms across his chest.

Gibbs stood firm and silent, giving him a look that clearly said the answer should be obvious.

"Jethro, if you've come to ask me to talk to the young man on your behalf, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you." Ducky replied calmly. "I am, as you are well aware, a firm believer in respecting one's wishes, no matter who that person might be and Timothy has made it quite clear that he wishes to move past this without hashing it out like some verbal sparring match!"

"Not what I meant." Gibbs quiet, defensive tone surprised the M.E.

"Is it not?" The M.E. asked with a tone of sheer aggravation. "Tell me, Jethro, what have you done to show Timothy that yielding to your pressure to talk about any of this will do him any good? Did you not tell me that Anthony himself ordered Timothy to 'let it go'?"

"Doesn't mean DiNozzo was right." The argument was not unexpected but still frustrated Ducky no end.

"The only person who should decide what's right is Timothy for Heaven's sake, Jethro. This is his life that's been disrupted so he should be the one to make that call!" Heatedly, Ducky stood his ground.

"Not just his life, Duck." Gibbs shot back with his anger rising.

"Yes, well, while I'm very much aware that this whole horrid mess has greatly affected your entire team, I must say, only you can do something about it and frankly, more than enough time has gone by with you standing by and doing nothing to fix it." Ducky was fuming. Gibbs was pretty much the only man alive that could elicit such emotion from him and while the mild mannered M.E. had been known to be snippy on rare occassions, all out anger usually came only from some kind of interaction with the team leader.

"Not true, Duck. Tried talkin – to both of 'em." The defensive comeback was weak at best.

"Well, then for heavens' sakes, Jethro, stop talking and do something about this mess before it does irreparable harm to either of those young men…that is if it hasn't already!" The older man bit out. "Though, I must say, indulging in your desire to please Anthony's libido at all costs might just prove to have been the most damaging thing you could have done – for either of them!"

"Yeah. Thanks for that, Duck." Gibbs replied snidely and turned on his heel to head out. He didn't need to hear any more recriminations when he'd already been heaping them on himself and they just sat together on the top of the heap he'd gotten from the others.

"Jethro!" Ducky called to his friend, needing to tell him one more thing before he left.

Stopping in his tracks, the younger man looked back impatiently at the M.E. to hear what he had to say.

"You do still need to talk with Timothy; although, I strongly suggest that you wait until such time that you are fully capable of respecting what it is Timothy will need. Let him take the lead on when, where & how that conversation will happen. I'm afraid you're just going to have to exhibit a rather generous allotment of patience on this**,** my friend. Perhaps it would be time best served thoroughly rethinking how things have been mishandled on your team and how best to go about fixing the problem areas; or better yet, just exactly what it is you can do to fix things between yourself and that young man who has asked for none of this."

Gibbs nodded silently as he turned and carried on to the elevator. He'd heard everyone else's side to this, well except for Palmer; but more importantly, the one person he hadn't heard anything derogatory from about this was, as Ducky just put it, the one person who'd been most adversely affected by the incident from the very moment it had happened.

******NCIS*******

Watching his long-time friend walk into the elevator and disappear behind its' closing doors, Ducky breathed out a sigh of relief. That had been one of the most difficult conversations they'd ever had with each other but it had been long overdue. Despite what he'd just told Jethro, he really did want to speak with Timothy; if nothing else than to be able to see for himself that the young man was genuinely all right.

To avoid becoming embroiled in a telephone conversation that in all probability would be overheard, interrupted or misconstrued by others, Ducky opted for a quick text message. Picking up his phone, he sent his request to Tim and waited for the reply. Truth be told, the young man really was at the center of his thoughts at the moment and he hoped that his quick invitation for lunch would be taken as it was; a simple gesture between friends. He had to smile with response he received a quick two minutes later. It was a short and simple _"Thank you.",_ but one that he knew was laced with gratitude.

With that lunch to look forward to, the M.E. put his cell phone back in his pocket and returned his attention to his work, needing to pass the time away with the tedious chores of inventory and hard drive file clean-up, as Timothy had shown him to how to do. The small sticky note stuck to the edge of his computer monitor reminded him to do it once a week or so for security's sake. He grinned when he realized how easy it was to set that task in his weekly routine now, and couldn't help but admire the young man's efforts at helping him by putting that there for him.

******NCIS******

For the MCRT, the morning dragged on with every minute ticking by wrapped in cold case prowling and the endless list of tasks that went along with such drudgery. Such tediousness did provide adequate distraction from the problems that were now pushed off into the wings. Gibbs was hoping to hash them out when the free time became available though**, **and the atmosphere in the work area seemed to reflect that reprieve. Still, it was with a breath of relief that Tim and Ziva took in the pronouncement Gibbs gave out at nearly noon.

"Break for lunch. Be back in an hour."

Smiling softly at Ziva as he walked by her desk, Tim was quick to move towards the front elevator, not even realizing she too had begun walking in that direction.

"Are you meeting someone for lunch, McGee?" Ziva asked conversationally as she matched his stride and walked with him.

"Ah, yeah." Tim answered very quietly with a touch of reluctance. He hit the button for their ride down to the front sign out.

"Is it a mystery woman you are meeting?" She asked with mixed humor and surprise.

Tim shook his head as he stepped onto the elevator as it opened up for them. Deliberately waiting until the doors had closed and the car had begun descending, he finally answered her question as quietly as possible. "Ducky wants me to have lunch with him."

"You are worried about the reason he has made this request, yes?"

"Pretty sure he wants to talk about this mess with Gibbs and Tony." Tim's unhappy tone didn't go unnoticed. Despite looking forward to sitting down with the M.E. for a nice lunch, he really didn't want to discuss what had happened and it showed.

"McGee. You and I both know that when Ducky wishes to talk to one of us away from the office, it is to see for himself that we are alright, yes?" She gently corrected him.

Tim nodded. "Yeah, I know. That's why I agreed to it."

"I understand your reluctance to announce what is no one else's business. However, I am relieved that Ducky is keeping an eye on you. In fact, I would be very happy and consider it a personal favor if you would allow Abby and I to take you to dinner tonight, as well."

Shaking his head, Tim was quick to object. "You don't have to do that. I'm fine."

"I am well aware that I do not have to do this, McGee. I wish to. As I said, I am asking as a personal favor. I enjoy your company and wish to hear how it is you come to believe that you are 'fine' with all of this left unresolved around you." She remarked with a quiet firmness that reinforced how serious she was about dinner.

Blowing out a breath of pent up resignation, Tim gave in because he was unwilling to hurt her feelings or test her ability to more than adequately use that box of paperclips she always kept on hand in her desk. "Okay. If we don't catch a case, I'll join you and Abby for dinner. But, no more talk of this mess." Tim stipulated firmly.

This time it was Ziva who's head was shaking in denial. "I cannot promise you that, McGee. However, I can promise you that we will make sure you eat well and relax. That is what is important, yes?"

Unhappy at this sudden turn in Ziva's attitude, he frowned without offering an answer.

"McGee. I do not wish to push you to talk on things you have already made clear you want left unsaid. But, even you must see that this _**cannot**_continue to remain unresolved like this." She beseeched him gently as they held themselves steady against the stopping elevator.

"Yeah. I know." He admitted quietly just before the doors opened up, reminding them they were far from alone and the conversation needed to be shelved for a bit. "What are you doing for lunch?"

"I am ordering myself a sandwich and returning to sit where it is peaceful while I enjoy my lunch." She replied with a smile.

"Sounds nice." He offered. "I'm sorry I can't invite you to join us, but…"

"Nonsense, McGee. I would not want to intrude."

"I know." He nodded his head in agreement as they parted company at the entrance to the employee parking lot."See you later."

******NCIS******

"Hey, Ducky." Tim cheerfully greeted the older man while sliding into the café's corner booth in the seat across from him a short ten minutes later." The walk to the small eatery had done little to ease Tim's nervousness about this upcoming conversation, but he knew he had nothing to fear from lunch with the kindly older man who had only their best interests at heart on any given day.

"Hello, Timothy. Thank you for agreeing to spend your lunch hour with me." Ducky greeted warmly with a smile.

"Figured you wanted to talk about this mess." Tim offered. "I have to tell you, Ducky. I really don't want to. I'm sorry, but every time I turn around either Ziva or Abby or Gibbs is pushing me to talk, well not Ziva or Abby so much now, but Gibbs…"

"Yes, I understand Jethro is quite determined to give you your day in court, so to speak." The M.E. replied cautiously. "I must say, I find myself waiting for the moment that you will allow yourself to grasp the opportunity with full measure, Timothy. Goodness knows it is long overdue for you."

Tim's quiet huff was loud enough to get the message across, leaving the older man with the feeling that this conversation was one best had after they'd eaten or until Tim took it further himself.

"Come, let's order, shall we?"

"Sounds good." Tim replied quietly as he turned his attention to the menu lying on the table before him. As he picked it up and perused it, his stomach growled, causing both of them to chuckle for a moment. "Guess my stomach agrees."

"Tell me Timothy, have you had any trouble sleeping or eating at all since this whole horrid mess happened?" The M.E. asked once they'd placed their orders and settled more comfortably in their seats.

"It's been hard, but I've managed, Ducky." Tim answered quietly as he steadily looked the older man square on. "I'm not seriously sleep deprived or starving myself if that's what you're worried about."

"Good. That is one worry off my mind." Ducky admitted readily. "However, I am still concerned about the unresolved tension I see still sitting on your shoulders, young man."

"Ducky…" Tim tried to interrupt Ducky but the older man carried on.

"Might I be frank with you, Timothy?" The older man bit the bullet and took the conversation by the horns.

Taken aback, Tim shifted in his seat, settling in for the long haul as he silently nodded in response to the question.

"Your team has become fractured by the actions of both your teammate and team leader and the level of trust you held for them has been seriously wounded. However, so long as you refuse to discuss the effects this has had on you, openly with at least your Team Leader who bears the ultimate responsibility for what happened, that fracture will remain and your team will not be able to find its' way back to anything close to normal. I do not believe that is what you wish to have happen."

Tim sighed. He knew Ducky was right. _Even though he had been actively avoiding it,_ he knew _he needed to have this talk with Gibbs and that it needed to happen before Tony got back, too. Having to talk to the Senior Field Agent would re-muddy the waters if all of the mess were still unaddressed with Gibbs._ Looking up, he locked eyes with the kindly man who obviously wanted to help. "I know, Ducky."

"But you are reluctant to open the wound enough to let the air get to it so that it may begin to heal."

"Re-opening wounds always hurts, at least a little." Tim offered knowingly, but with unmistakable sadness.

"Yes, however, it is oftentimes necessary for the healing to be thorough."

"Lots of times, the wounds never heal right anyway. And this isn't not just about me."

"While this is true, it is also necessary if the wound is to be given the best chance for healing; for everyone."

Tim pressed his lips together as he thought on Ducky's rebuttals. The older man was right. Tim was also ready to stop fighting what now seemed to be inevitable. He wanted this whole ordeal to be over for the team. They all did. He knew it would be hard, but he'd faced harder things in his life before than a conversation with a strong willed mute who said more with his expressions than with words. With an audible sigh, Tim looked back up at the M.E. "You're right."

"Does this mean you will be ready to stand up for yourself and speak with Gibbs about this soon?"

"Yeah. Abby and Ziva wanted to take me to dinner tonight, though. I'm sure they'll understand if I do this instead."

"Take time to listen to your heart, Timothy. If you do not wish to have the discussion with Gibbs tonight, then do not force yourself. Do it when the time is right for you. However, I do advise that you not wait too much longer. Too much damage has already been done and the healing really does need to be allowed to begin."

Nodding in silent agreement, Tim smiled at the waitress who had just arrived with their orders. Without further discussion, the two of them dug in, enjoying their lunch in an atmosphere of peaceful camaraderie that bolstered both of their spirits.

*****NCIS******

Taking the wisdom and advice that had been offered to him, to heart, Tony packed up his overnight bag and headed out to his car. With no contact with anyone else, there was little chance he'd be visited at home by anyone he wasn't ready to see. As he settled in behind the wheel, he opened up his glove box and took out his everyday cell phone and dug out the phone number he needed. He was quick and methodical as he transferred the number to his burn phone and switched his regular cell off before putting it back in the glove box. With a wry smile, he dialed the number.

"Hey, Maria…Yeah, It's Tony…Yeah, As soon as possible this afternoon would be really great…Thank you…Two-thirty? That's awesome! You really are a peach. Thanks again, Maria. Just for that I'm bringing you your favorite coffee…What? You don't drink coffee? OH, sorry. I must be thinking of another Maria who loves hazelnut coffee with a hint of cinnamon…Ah, gotcha ya! Okay, well thanks for the help…yeah, okay, bye."

Snapping his phone shut, Tony buckled up, started up his car, slipped it into gear, and drove out of the parking lot. This mess wouldn't fix itself and he'd gotten the nudge he'd needed to take the first step in the right direction. It was time for him to go home

* * *

_A/N; Next Chapter - The conversation we've all been waiting for._


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Our heartfelt apologies for the delay in updating. For the sake of story flow - we've got two chapters for you - with the long awaited conversation coming up in the chapter after this one - unexpectedly pushed back a chapter due to circumstances in the story beyond our control.  
_

**SPECIAL THANKS - Gottahavemyncis & Shelbylou - couldn't have done this without you.  
**

**Episode Tag for this chapter: **_Reunion  
_

* * *

Once back from lunch, Tim smiled warmly at Ziva whenhe returned to his desk, he didn't miss the fact that Gibbs was not present in the squad room. That seemed to settle his nerves and he was able to stow his conversation with Ducky away for later. Now he had a responsibility to get back to work so he wasted no more time doing just that.

Over an hour later and up to their ankles in cold case files, Tim, Ziva and Gibbs were silently applying themselves to the hated chore with due diligence and hadfallen intoa mutually appreciated silence now that they'd all had their lunch. Time did not even register as they poured over facts and past unsubstantiated leads listed in the files as well as conducting fresh searches through their systems for any information in hopes of finding updated leads. After examining the case in his hands for what seemed like the 100th time, one that involved the unsolved murder of a young sailor, Tim was surprised when he finally realized what clue he hadn't yet double checked. Since the cold case itself was three years old, plenty of the key information could have changed. For some reason, until now Tim had forgotten to cross check one of the phone numbers associated with the case. As he clicked the phone records onto the big screen so the information could jump out at him, he stood and approached the spot where he could more easily pinpoint the matching numbers,

"You find something, McGee?" Gibbs asked from behind his own desk, as he watched his agent click on the remote for the big screen and then get up to approach it, his face a study in concentration.

"Looks like a distinct possibility, Boss." Tim answered without hesitation. "Found a phone number that matches both the victim and one of the key persons of interest from the days when this case was openly active."

"You and Ziva follow up on it." The boss was quick to direct.

Tim nodded in comprehension and acceptance of the order but couldn't keep the frown from his faceover the brush off he'd just gotten as he turned away to go back to his desk. Gibbs hadn't asked him for any additional information. If Tony had been here, he would have. Schooling his features once more, Tim geared up**,** shouldering his backpack, and headed out of the squad room, stopping off at the printer to retrieve the hard copy of his newly acquired information. With Ziva following directly behind him, he continued to the front elevator.

Ziva joined him at the elevator, with an expression that mirrored her friend's and neither of them spoke into the silence that had descended on them once again. Neither of them appeared to be happy about the new assignment and only those who knew them well, knew that it wasn't the task they'd just been given that brought out the somber mood but rather the weight of all that was unresolved among their ranks.

Once they were finally alone in the elevator, Ziva looked at her teammate with concern. "McGee?" She let her tone ask the silent question that was bothering her.

"It's nothing, Ziva." Tim told her quickly."Let's just get this murder solved. Our victim and his family deserve that much."

"I agree." She offered in return. "Closure is a good thing."

"Yeah. I can relate to that." Tim replied dryly with a scowl,although for his part, he wasn't referring to the case at hand.

"What does that mean?"

"Never mind, Ziva. C'mon, this shouldn't be too complicated. All we have to do is get the woman to admit the phone number belongs to her grandson and we can close this case with his arrest."

"It does sound simple." Ziva offered wistfully, as though she did not believe it would be so.

"But it never works out that way, I know." Tim admitted quietly.

*****NCIS*****

Twenty minutes later found the two MCRT agents huffing a little, restless to work this new lead as they were finally able to park the car and stealthily make their way closer to the address last listed for their lead. With the windows on the house wide open, both agents clearly heard a conversation, including a confession from a most unexpected source as a woman's voice rose above that of the younger male's they'd heard first.

"You're damned right I helped you get rid of Malcom! That brother of yours was nothin' but trouble! He was a thorn in all of our sides, Martin and you know it! Stop second guessing yourself now! What's done is done!"

"But, Ma, you know what's gonna happen to us if they figure it out?"

"Who the hell's ever gonna put it all together? Those dumb Navy cops don't know anything!"

"Is that**…**?" Tim asked Ziva in a near whisper as he looked at her in surprise.

"His mother." Ziva agreed just as quietly as they each took one side of the door and announced their presence. NCIS!

*****NCIS******

"So that's it in a nutshell, Doc." Tony admitted as he concluded his hour-long monologue of recent events that had culminated in his being there, needing to talk.

"Sounds like you've had a lot on your mind, Tony. I'm not surprised you've needed someone to bounce things off of." His therapist offered with compassion, as she remained sitting comfortably across from him, letting him see she wasn't at all put off by what he'd said.

"It's helped some. Being able to talk to Ducky. He's been the only one, though." Tony's voice sounded almost defensive.

"So, what talking you and Gibbs have done…?" She encouraged him to dig and find the truth so he could see it in front of him.

"Didn't help."." He admitted quietly. "Only made things worse."

"For you?" His therapist needed clarification.

"Yeah." Tony couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone. "Probably for him, too."

"What do you think would help you more?" She led him back to safer and more productive conversational waters.

" question there, Doc." The young man replied dryly, a frown sitting on his face.

"An important one." Very seriously, she corrected him while maintaining direct eye contact.

"Well, see? That's why I came to you, so you could answer that very question for me." Tony's quip fell flat as the doctor's expression remained serious.

"That's not how it works with me, Tony. You know that. You didn't come to me so I could tell you how to think."

"No. You're right." Tony's tone was now as serious as hers' even while his eyes refused to come up from the small table between them. "Not how. Why."

Without missing a beat, she had a response for him. "Be specific, Tony."

Raising his eyes to meet hers for a brief moment, he sighed and then let himself answer her as honestly as he could. "You want specific? Okay. How's this for specific? Why did I fall for Gibbs? When did I become gay? Why with Gibbs of all people? Why am I so pissed at Probie because he stumbled across me and Gibbs gettin' it on at work?"

Tony grew silent, his breath labored, his eyes snapping with anger as he bit out question after unanswered question and the emotions he'd been trying to wade through came out in full force.

"Any more?" His therapist asked calmly.

"No. I think that about covers it." Tony replied quietly, too quietly. "No wait! There is one more. Why would Gibbs and Ducky both tell me that I was so afraid of the answers that I refused to ask the questions?"

"That's a lot of unanswered questions to be trying to sort through." She offered sympathetically.

"I warned you months ago, I'm complicated, Doc."

"And you're positive that you're ready to face the answers to these questions now; no matter what those answers might be?" She pushed in her most serious tone.

"Yes." Tony's tone hadn't changed, still more serious than he ever let his co-workers hear from him.

"Alright, then. Let's get digging." She replied without hesitation. Not even a heartbeat later, she shocked him with the direction she expected him to go. "Let's talk about your childhood some more."

*****NCIS******

"Cuff her!" Tim bit out angrily from where he stood at the back door, as he kept his eyes trained on their suspect currently running away, heading straight for the barn a good fifty yards downhill beyond the house. Quickly, he set his eyes to peruse the landscape that he could see from his vantage point. He couldn't help but hear Gibbs' voice in his head.

"_Learn to anticipate, McGee. Expect the unexpected."_

Tim spared a split second glance over to his partner to be certain the Israeli woman hadn't been jumped or blindsided by their feisty and unexpected second suspect**.** Tim took off after their primary suspect, veering off toward what he strongly suspected would be the dirtbag's ultimate destination for a clean getaway.

As he neared the copse of trees and quickly scanned the area, he breathed a sigh of relief that he'd beaten the man to that point. Wasting no time, he planted himself out of the way and readied himself for the moment of impending confrontation. As his heart pounded and the blood rushed in his ears, he could only hope he didn't screw this up.

******NCIS*****

"Gibbs is sending backup." Ziva offered some fifteen adrenaline-pumping minutes later as she and Tim stood leaning on opposite sides of the agency sedan, arms resting on the roof of the vehicle that currently held the handcuffed mother. Her son sat cuffed on the ground at Tim's feet and was currently squirming, trying to loosen the cuffs to made sure the windows were all the way down on both sides of the car, they were confident that no secret plans or stories would be hatched since the suspects couldn't even see each other, much less whisper anything to each other.

"Good." Tim replied quietly as his heart rate dropped now that the excitement was over. He was still slightly out of breath as he watched both suspects warily. With a sigh, he glared down at the man on the ground. "Hey! Cut it out! You can't get free from them and even if you did, she knows how to kill with just a paperclip."

"That a threat, Fed?" The man spat out. "Because if it was…"

"You will do what?" Ziva rounded the car with her eyes narrowed.

"Nothing." Tim couldn't help but huff out a laugh at his change of demeanor. He stepped back to watch the mother gaze out of the window of the car. **  
**  
"That was a very good turn up, yes?" Ziva questioned with a smile.

Tim smirked softly withouttaking his eyes off the mother. "Turn out, Ziva. Though I'm not sure that's the phrase you're looking for. It ended well, if that's what you mean. But I'd rather not rest easy until these two are locked away behind bars."

"But of course." Ziva replied with a smile of her own and gave the man on theground one last look of disdain before moving back to her side of the car to stand guard.

"But, then again, I highly doubt that either of these two are stupid enough to attempt any kind of escape or even thinking of doing us bodily harm. Especially now."

"I hope they're not that dumb." Tim replied seriously. "You never can tell with criminals, though. Especially not with those who kill for their own selfish reasons, or greed."

"I agree. You will tell me how you managed to subdue our elusive murderer and so quickly, yes?" She asked with a curious tone.

"Maybe." Tim grinned, straightening up as he heard the approach of another vehicle, turning to see who their backup was. "Although I really shouldn't reveal my secrets."

"Agent Balboa, how nice to see you again." Ziva greeted the new arrival warmly as he and his partner stepped out of their vehicle and approached them.

"Agent Da'vid. Agent McGee" Agent Balboa offered with a smile as he glanced her way. "Nice job!"

"Thanks." Tim offered. "Thanks for coming to help us transport them back."

"Glad to help." Balboa offered kindly.

"Which one are you taking custody of?" Tim needed to know.

"We'll take Troublemaking Mama here." Agent Balboa stated as he rounded the car to reach the door next to where the suspect was sitting. "You guys earned the right to bring in the big collar on this one – she's just the icing on the cake. Right?"

"What cake?" Ziva asked as she turned and opened the car door in front of her for him to take their feisty co-conspirator into custody.

"Don't answer that." Tim grinned as he bent down to help his prisoner stand to his feet while Agent Rollins reached down and helped him.

Once Agent Balboa had moved the mother to the other vehicle, Tim and Agent Rollins firmly placed the now strangely silent killer in the backseat of Tim's agency sedan.

"See you back at the office. I'm almost tempted to ask Gibbs if I can watch this interrogation. You're the third team to try to solve this case. Pat yourselves on the back. You've earned it." Agent Rollins praised them as he and Balboa got their passenger settled and then got in their car themselves. With a wave, they were gone, leaving Tim and Ziva to transport the killer back to the office.

With a smirk that nearly turned into outright laughter, Tim tossed Ziva the keys. "Let's give him a ride he'll not soon forget."

"McGee, you hate my driving." She kindly reminded him.

"Not as nearly as much as I hate people killing other people, Ziva."

******NCIS******

A long and silent thirty minutes later, Ziva and Tim were escorting their murderer through the squad room en route to an interrogation room. Without looking up from his reading Gibbs issued an instruction from where he sat behind his desk. "Put him in Room four. Already got his mother in three."

"Yes, Gibbs." Ziva answered for the both of them as she noticed Tim's posture stiffen slightly.

The Boss man's refusal to actively involve himself in this case was rubbing Tim the wrong way. Without a word, he kept going in the direction they needed, firmly holding on to Martineven going so far as to tug him along.

After securing their still silent prisoner, Tim returned to the squad room and immediately began typing, his speed as fast as usual, if not faster. Ziva returned to the squad room a moment later and stopped at his desk, ignoring the fact that Gibbs remained at his desk, still reading a file.

"McGee."

"Mmmm?" He questioned while he continued to type.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, why?" He stopped typing and looked at her in surprise, his irritation with Gibbs momentarily forgotten.

"You spent the entire ride back here, typing something on your phone and now, instead of remaining in observation with me, watching our suspect for signs of guilt, you come back here and type? What was so important that you had to play with your phone for twenty minutes?"

"I wasn't playing, Ziva. I was typing up my statement of the conversation we heard between our witnesses through their open window when we got there." Tim replied calmly and without hesitation. "His mother admitted she was in on it, so we need it on paper."

"Yes, I know this. She answered impatiently as she realized she'd misjudged his actions. "And now? What are you in a hurry to get typed now?" She couldn't seem to stop herself from asking.

"The rest of what happened after we got there. Might as well get it down while it's fresh and our perp needs to stew, right?"

"I see." Without another word, Ziva returned to her own desk and got busy on her own report.

Tim finished his report a mere ten minutes later, sent it to the printer and got up to retrieve it. Walking back to his desk with it, he was surprised to find Gibbs meet him half-way, his hand held out for the report.

"C'mon." Gibbs led the way back to the interrogation rooms, "Ziva!" he called back to her over his shoulder.

Approaching the room, Gibbs motioned for Ziva to take the observation post in the room next door while he accompanied Tim to the Interrogation Room door. Tim hesitated, knowing Gibbs presented the stronger presence and would make a better choice to go in first.

Gibbs thrust the case file towards Tim, making sure the young man grasped it before he let it go. Even without words, Tim got the message. Gibbs wanted Tim to do the interrogation. _Holy crap! He hadn't done an interrogation since he'd botched the last one and Gibbs had had to save his behind. And now he was supposed to do this one? Hell, the last one hadn't even been about murder! This one was!_

Tim straightened his shoulders, looked Gibbs straight on, his appreciation for this show of faith and trust showing in his eyes as he accepted the file and walked away. He wasn't Gibbs or Tony. He wanted proof before confronting the killer. Tim wasn't the type to present false information just to get the killer to confess. He wanted Abby to confirm fingerprints and whatever else she'd re-tested from the original crime scene first.

Shaking his head in mild amusement, Gibbs followed his agent, not completely surprised at where he was headed. Silently, they rode down to Abby's lab together and headed in to talk to her.

Abby saw both of them coming and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Gibbs gestured towards Tim, letting her know she should direct her question towards the younger man.

"McGee? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Abby. I just came to check on what you found from the original crime scene evidence."

"McGee! I just got start…."

"Abby, I need something that can convince this guy that it's in his best interest to confess."

*****NCIS*****

Armed with scientific proof that they had their killers in custody, thanks to Abby's fingerprint analysis and DNA matches, Tim stepped into the interrogation room a short ten minutes later, Gibbs two steps behind him. As soon as the door closed, Tim took a seat across from their killer while Gibbs slid effortlessly into the corner of the room where Tim could see him in his peripheral vision.

"I'm gonna make this easy on you. Our time is valuable, so let's just cut to the chase. You did it. We know you did it and we know your mother helped you do it." Now, first one who cooperates with us gets a better shot at having us talk to the judge and recommend the lighter sentence. Unfortunately for you, there is no statute of limitation on murder, so we can't make the charges disappear – but unless you're looking forward to becoming someone's lady for the rest of your life, I'd think long and hard before you tell me you're not going to even consider it." Tim sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Martinfrom under hooded eyes.

Gibbs leaned back into the corner, an unmistakable smirk playing across his features. _Damn, he should have had McGee doing interrogations more often! Guess he really did learn from his mistakes on that last one! Why haven't I taken the time to let him try again until now?_

*****NCIS******

Unable to keep himself from feeling the uplifting afterglow of pride for a successful bust & confession from a most productive interrogation, Tim smiled broadly as he returned to the squad room a short forty-five minutes later to finish his report on the case now that they'd been able to get full confessions from both suspects. With the realization that Gibbs hadn't said one word during the entire interrogation, came the understanding that in Gibbs-speak – that meant he'd done it right. Now, he understood why Gibbs had stayed aloof andout of the casework on this one. He'd given Tim all the room he'd needed to do this one without someone breathing over his shoulder and where normally that someone was Tony; this time it would have been Gibbs if the man had doubted his ability to do the job without him.

Even Ziva was smiling proudly at him, although she let her expression speak for herself as she too, got back to work. Leaving her to it, Tim picked up the pace on his own work, anxious to be able to cut loose for the night, since he finally felt like he'd done something right. Maybe, just maybe, things weren't as dire here for him as he'd imagined.

******NCIS*******

Watching Tim head down to Abby's lab after quietly announcing his intention to go check on her, Ziva spoke into the uncomfortable silence the young man had left behind in his wake, "Gibbs."

Looking up from his work, he looked over at her expectantly. "Ziva?"

Getting up from her desk, she approached the Team Leader's workspace, going so far as to perch herself on the edge of his desk, determined to keep this conversation as quiet as possible. "There was a time when you truly believed I had broken your trust."

Gibbs remained silently watchful of her expression as he waited for her to get to the point, all the while his heart was squeezing painfully at that memory she was invoking with her words.

"_We need to talk."_

_"Sit down."_

_"When I came to see you and said I wanted back...You said it was the director's call. But I sensed your hesitation. I sense it now. Even though I... Thought I made myself clear. I understand what you did in Israel."_

_"Your brother Ari."_

_"You know what happened that night… It was here."_

_"I want to hear it from you… You had orders to kill your brother to earn my trust."_

_"Yes."_

_"That's a problem."_

_"You don't understand."_

_"You're damn right I don't understand!"_

_"When I volunteered for that mission..."_

_"Your killed your own brother, Ziva!"_

_"It was because I hoped my father was wrong about Ari! And I did not want someone else blindly following orders. I volunteered to protect him, Gibbs."_

_"You lied to me."_

"_No, when I told you Ari was innocent, I believed it. But, yes. I would've lied to you. He was my brother. And you were nothing…. But I was wrong about Ari. And you. …When I pulled the trigger to save your life, I was not following orders. I mean, how could you even think... ? He was my brother. And now he is gone. Eli is all but dead to me. And the closest thing I have... ...to a father...is accusing me..."_

"_Okay"_

"Gibbs?" Ziva quietly drew him back from his memory now.

Blinking to clear the moisture in his eyes, he focused on her expression again while he waited to hear what she had to say next**.** He was sure he wouldn't like where this was headed, but he would hear her out.

"I told you then that you were like a father to me." She reminded him almost sadly.

"Ziva…" His voice was quiet and his tone somber with the fresh memory of her rare release of tears during the final moments of that soul bearing conversation. Drawing on his inner strength now, he held his eyes steady on hers as he tried to find the words..

"And I know." She continued on as if he hadn't spoken. "That McGee has also long considered you to have that same place in his heart – that of surrogate father."

Again, silence was all that greeted her words.

"It broke my heart thento think that you no longer trusted me." Ziva revealed somberly.

Gibbs' armor cracked and he found himself almost reaching out to comfort her.  
**  
**"And I can only imagine how Tim is feeling now. Because now," She stated with a firm sadness, "it is you who has broken that trust."

Breathing out a deep sigh, he gave a short nod as he quietly spoke. "I know."

"What saddens me, Gibbs, is that Tim has done nothing to deserve this, whereas , I ..." Unable to finish the thought, Ziva stopped speaking. Without waiting for a response, she stood and walked away, her stride taking her out of the squad room and down the back hallway before he could even think of anything to say.

Gibbs, of all people, understood how fragile trust was. How many times had his own trust in someone been broken? Too damn many times to count; and every one of those times; too damn painful to go traipsing thru the memory of it.

And trust was a commodity that was crucial to the foundation of a solid, close-knit team. If the team didn't have that trust; if they didn't feel safe; secure; if they were always worried that somehow, someway; one of them wasn't going to be going home that day; then someone probably would get hurt. Tim's trust in his Team Leader and his SFA had been brokenand the young man had allowed himself to admit that when he'd refused to go out in the field with them in the days immediately following his discovery of Gibbs and Tony together. Team Leader, Leroy Jethro Gibbs had fallen down on the job, and had been too self-absorbed to even notice.

This family unit, in all likelihood; would not survive this. Gibbs felt a stab of regret. For someone who usually prided himself on his long-standing powers of observation and the ability to read people; this stark reminder; another glaring example of having missed the forest for the trees; did absolutely nothing to ease the ache in his heart over this situation. The team was falling apart right before his eyes; and he hadn't even seen it coming; even worse – he had caused it.

Teams can be broken up – their team will be broken up; if this couldn't be set to rights. The family unit would be torn apart. Gibbs had already lost one family; and been given a chance to develop this team into one; only; apparently, to lose his grip on the fundamental backbone of this family unit; trust. _Ducky was right Gibbs had stood by and done too little for long enough. This needed to be fixed and it needed to be done now!_

*******NCIS*******

Strolling back into the squad room and sitting back down at his desk a mere fifteen minutes after he'd left, Tim never noticed Ziva had already left for the night or Gibbs shut down his workstation and walk over to Tim's.

"McGee."

Hearing his name, he blinked and looked toward the person speaking. "Boss?" he asked in surprise.

"C'mon. Let's go grab some dinner. I'm hungry and I know you haven't eaten much all afternoon.

Without even thinking about it, Tim found himself cooperating with the older man's suggestion, ultimately walking to the elevator with him, the air between them oddly comfortable, despite all that had yet to be aired. Remembering that brought a frown to Tim's face. _Damn it. They did still need to hash that out, didn't they?_

Seeming to read the younger man's mind, Gibbs stood firm as he spoke. "Eat first. Talk later."

Since it was suggested in a much kinder tone of voice than he was used to hearing, it took Tim by surprise, leaving him breathless as he waited to make sure he hadn't been hearing things.

As they rode the elevator down to the parking garage, the Team Leader frowned at the unsettled look on his eerily quiet agent's face. Suddenly, his old friend's words came back to him.

_"Tell me, Jethro, what have you done to show Timothy that yielding to your pressure to talk about any of this will do him any good? Let him take the lead on when, where & how that conversation will happen." _

Mentally head slapping himself, Gibbs stopped in his tracks. "McGee."

Since the older man had stopped before they'd reached either of their cars, Tim stopped as well. "Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head in silent denial of what his mind was telling him to say. Regardless of whether or not the young man wanted to talk things out, he still needed to eat and the boss was more than determined to see that he did. The decision to talk or not could come later. Silently, he pushed them on, leading them to where their cars were parked.

Not sure what was going through the older man's mind, Tim silently followed in his wake. As they reached the cars, he hung back, waiting to see what Gibbs had in mind. It came as no surprise when the man unlocked both doors to the supped-up classic car but then again, it didn't bother Tim at all. In fact, he felt almost honored to be riding in the car Gibbs had personally poured his heart and soul into when he was younger. Leaning back in the seat, he closed his eyes and relaxed, determined to enjoy the ride, wherever Gibbs was taking him.

*****NCIS*****

As they enjoyed a quiet and relaxed burger and fries dinner, they talked about the case they'd just put to bed. As Gibbs led with questions, Tim eventually shared how he'd seen the vehicle almost completely hidden in the trees.

"_Had my gun drawn. I stopped just underneath the overhanging trees and checked to see if he'd already made it down there. I'm just glad there was a perfect hiding spot where he wouldn't be able to see me when he did come from the barn. I knew I wanted to take him by surprise, instead of having him surprise me, so I grabbed a couple of good sized rocks to throw away from me when he got there. That distracted him long enough for me to get the jump on him. It worked." _

As he listened attentively to his agent describe the afternoon's events, Gibbs couldn't help but offer a genuine smile of appreciation in return. The young man had done a bang-up job on this case. A hell of a good job. They wouldn't have been able to solve it without him. The apprehension and interrogation were also successful, largely in part to McGee's performance. Gibbs couldn't help but feel extremely proud right now of the agent Tim had become. _Right now. Why not sooner? Why was he only appreciating Tim now? Was it because Tony wasn't around to stay in the spotlight or throw his muscle into the casework?_

Even as he worked to process the man Tim had become as an Agent, Gibbs was still trying to process just how much trust Tim really did have in him on any given day, such as the trust he'd just shown him by coming with him tonight without second guessing him or refusing.

W_hy would you let your private relationship with each other affect how you treat Timmy? What did he ever do to either of you, Gibbs?"_

_If ever there was a time for you to break your moratorium on apologies, then this would be it."_

Startled at the two completely different admonishments coming at him at nearly the same time; one from just recently, while the other had found its' way back to his subconscious from several years ago, Gibbs could only blink as he struggled with what to say that would get Tim comfortable enough to open up and let go of what he needed to him to hear. Before he could even think on those thoughts, however, a few more came at him

_All these years on your team, he's been jumping through hoops to make you happy and meet your demands and you've never once taken the time to talk to him like a person! I mean, c'mon, Gibbs!_

_I've seen you stop at the end of the day and ask Tony what's on his mind – more than once but you've never once done that for McGee_

_Timmy deserves to know why! But he'll never ask you himself."_

"Yours and Timothy's personal relationship has never been a very strong one; the two of you have certainly never had very much to say to one another. Or at least, you've never presented him with the opportunity for such conversation, should he have needed it."

Watching Gibbs appear to struggle for something to say, Tim couldn't help but think back to the one time they'd attempted to talk about this mess.

_"Lotta things happened last week that shouldn't have, McGee."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Today, too."_

_"I know." _

_"You stuck your neck out for us, McGee. Can't thank you enough for that. …None of this is your fault…I shouldn't have let him get so out of hand. Shouldn't have done you the way I did, either." _

_"Still need to know why, Gibbs?" _

_"Why what, McGee?"_

_"Why would you tell Tony that everything he's ever done and continues to do is …?"_

Finally, Tim couldn't take the pressure of this silence between them any longer. Glancing up at the older man, he genuinely offered an olive branch. "I'm sorry."

Gibbs' eyes snapped up to those of the young man across from him, but before he could throw out his typical rebuttal, he was hearing more from Tim.

"I really thought that if I just went on without saying anyth…" Tim sighed deeply. "This isn't just gonna go away, is it?"

"Not sure that it should," Gibbs refuted. "Damn sure you don't have anything to apologize for."

"Strange as it may sound, I agree. Now." Tim admitted as he twirled his water glass stem under his fingers restlessly, his eyes glued to the moving liquid inside the glass.

"You deserved better than the way you were treated, McGee." Gibbs gave back in return. C'mon, let's take this somewhere we can talk – if you're ready."

Tim thought about it for a minute as he breathed out a heavy sigh. Swallowing hard, he came to the conclusion that he did need this and it would be foolish to pass up this chance to talk to Gibbs about all of it without Tony around or without interruptions. Looking up at the older man, he nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

Gibbs nodded as he stood and led the way out of the diner,


	25. Chapter 25

Now sitting side by side on a park bench without another soul around, Gibbs hoped Tim was ready to open up and not only let it all out, but let him in as well. He knew it was a long shot to hope the young man would open up that much, but he was willing to give it his best. He owed it to him to do so. "I'd like to know what ran through your mind that night, Tim." Gibbs threw out there with genuine interest and concern.

Taking a deep breath, Tim slowly let it out before he answered, this time, reaching all the way down inside himself and pulling out the truth from the depths of his shattered trust. "All I could think about was all the times Tony's mocked me for _supposedly_ being gay and for never being successful with the ladies while Tony's always had too much luck with them. Hell, him spreading the rumor at work with the ladies that I was gay back when Kate was still here, is enough! And if that wasn't bad enough, he's always digging into my private life and lecturing me because I was presenting the bad image of coming across as homosexual."

"There was more to it for you that night." Gibbs reasoned out."

"Yeah. There was." Tim admitted as he looked him straight on. This time he needed Gibbs to know just how deep that night had cut him. "There was you. You remember that case, don't you? When Tony was making fun of me for the lotion? You joined in on it with your '_just admiring your feminine glow'_ remark in front of Tony and Ziva. You know, all these years, I thought you'd actually been trying to help when you handed me the shaving cream and a razor and told me _'you're tryin' too hard'" _Tim remarked_. _"But somehow, after seeing you and Tony that night…. Somehow, it suddenly hit me, that just like the comment in front of the others back then, you were making more of a derogatory statement than I'd taken it for."

"McGee…" Gibbs protested. In no way had he ever meant his comment to be taken the way Tim had, and the fact that his agent thought that way was a slap in his face. Although, when he played Tim's words out in his mind, he realized this was a new, or changed, opinion. Tim had just said that he had previously thought Gibbs' words and actions back then were meant to be helpful, which was the truth of the matter. It was Tim's forced realization of Gibbs' relationship with Tony that caused the change to the less positive opinion. Gibbs' heart twisted at the pain he was still causing his youngest agent.

"The thing is, Boss." Tim interrupted. "Back then I was so grateful for that scrap of what I thought was you trying to help me on that level, and because you never said anything else on the subject- ever, I got comfortable with the silence from you after that. But then, Tony kept going overboard, dogging me about my sex life – over and over again – even invading it by posing as a woman online and come to find out, he's had you in his corner in more ways than one all along."

Even as he finished letting it out, Tim's brain kept going, as he remembered how much this had all felt so much like a knife cutting into his soul. The boss never had two words to say to Tim that weren't job related and hardly ever had anything positive or nice to say when he did speak to him. Gibbs always rode Tim the hardest and with the coldest shoulder when it came to work and was never satisfied about anything Tim did for the job; no matter how hard Tim worked or how many hours he gave up of his own time to get the job done – beyond the long hours Gibbs expected from them. The kicker was that the reasoning for the man's attitude towards Tim made sense now. In fact, come to think of it, he remembered hearing Gibbs had boasted that Tony 'did his best work at night' on more than one occasion and each time it was with a hint of pride. What about him? Didn't all the extra hours he put in matter?

All this time he'd trusted them to be straightforward, fair and honest; well Gibbs at least. Tim also trusted them to always have his back just as much as they had each other's. Once again, the full scope of Gibbs' long-time favoritism of Tony and letting him get away with every stunt and every episode of unfairness and torment, hit the young man like a tidal wave.

To remember once again that he'd been treated so unfairly all this time because this was going on between those two had cut so very deep, brought that pain back sharply into focus now. _How could he explain to the boss that this was why he felt betrayed by him while with Tony it was not only that he'd climbed into Gibbs' pocket, so to speak, but was also making a mockery of all the mockery he'd thrown at Tim for supposedly being gay all these years? Or that what was even worse was the slant this put on all the times Tony ridiculed him for not being able to become the ladies' man Tony supposedly was_?

"McGee, I _was_ trying to help with the shaving cream, but I have to say I saw Tony's words with the lotion as harmless teasing, that's why I made that comment myself..." Gibbs felt sick as he realized how deeply ingrained this was for Tim, more so for what he witnessed that Friday night, and how long he'd been carrying that ridicule around. As a Marine, Gibbs had grown a thick skin, he hadn't thought about the fact that the scholarly McGee would handle things any differently than he or Tony. "As far as that online person, I did not know about that until later. I don't know what ya think I coulda done about it then."

Tim sighed and shook his head sadly. "I'm not explaining this very well. I know that you gave him a lot of leeway and still do and for the most part I have no problem with it. But there's a line and he crosses it – a lot – and in that situation, - you didn't reel him in when he crossed it. A person's sexual preference should NOT be up for public discussion or ridicule – anywhere. It's personal. They called it DADT for a reason."

He got to his feet and began to pace, suddenly restless and no longer feeling good about this conversation."My point, Boss, is that we all know that line is there and for you not to do anything when he crosses it – and considering it's mostly at my expense – along with what I stumbled across that night - just confirmed how differently you've always treated us – Tony and I specifically. Those two weeks without Ziva highlighted the difference in your respect towards us, too."

Gibbs anger at himself, at his actions and inactions, flared higher and higher. _What the hell had he done? _It wasn't just what he and Tony had done that night; from what he was hearing now from Tim, that had really been the final straw. And in a rare insight, he understood even more of what Tim must have been going through. "That explains why you looked like you had just been stabbed in the gut. Because our actions; my actions that night, betrayed what little trust you had left for us." Gibbs fought to speak softly and not let his anger at himself & Tony reflect back at his youngest agent.

The older man watched with careful scrutiny, as the young man he rarely spoke with, listened to every word he said. "Have you always felt this way? I know I'm not the best with words, McGee, but I also know I've said my door is always open. Why didn't you come to me when you felt what Tony was doing was sexual harrassment? And I want us to be clear about everything. Are you also saying you feel I don't respect you as I do the others?"

Tim frowned. He hated having to slap the man in the face with the truth like this, but what choice did he have? Letting out a frustrated sigh, he let it out. "Let's face it, Boss. You and I have hardly ever had anything to say to each other that isn't case related. I'm not about to show up on your doorstep just to admit I've screwed up so badly on something I didn't know how to make it right. Believe me, I already know when you feel that way about me. I don't need to go looking for more punishment. Besides, you made it perfectly clear how unhappy you were to have me at your house those times I was there, when I was driving you back and forth to work after you pushed me out of the way of the car. Couldn't help but feel it then and it's not a feeling I really want to have again. And I certainly was not going to approach you with any personal problems I might have – aside from work, you've never shown the slightest interest in anything about me, why would I trust you when you've never bothered to get to know who I am besides just being the tech support for your team"? And I'm not in the habit of showing up where I'm not wanted. ." Tim stopped talking long enough to catch his breath and give himself a mental head slap for having gone too far.

To his credit, Gibbs didn't try to hide the troubled look his warring emotions sent across his features. After a silent minute, he found the words he hoped would serve to pick up some of the pieces of Tim's shattered trust. "Never meant to make you feel that way, McGee."

Tim smiled thinly for a brief moment as he thought to himself. He couldn't expect the boss to understand that it didn't matter if he'd meant it or not. The fact remained that the man hadn't done anything or said anything to make sure that his own attitude and shortness with Tim back then wasn't taken to mean anything personal; it had seriously fed into the problem that had never been resolved.

At Gibbs' involuntary jerk, Tim realized he had inadvertently spoken his thoughts aloud. Looking at the man, he saw his boss seemed genuinely distressed at the thought Tim had expressed. Strangely Gibbs' strong reaction calmed Tim's concern enough that he set aside the rest of it and began a quick mental checklist of what else he might still need to get off his chest. He hadn't been too sure how to take the boss' silence at first, which had shaken his confidence enough that he'd held his tongue for that long minute. Now he understood that, as he sometimes himself did, Gibbs was working to process everything he was hearing**. **

The Team Leader couldn't help but see the plethora of emotions roll through Tim's expressive eyes. The flicker of anger that came with Gibbs' attempt to apologize surprised him but Tim's rebuttal, which seemed to have been inadvertent, explained that**.** Hoping to keep Tim unloading since the goal here was to get it all out in the open so they could effectively deal with it, he gave him an encouraging look .

Tim offered the man a half smile as he thought of what else he needed to say. Knowing there were still questions he hadn't answered, Tim decided to start with them. "Have I always felt like you treat me differently than the others? Yeah, I have. But, that's not really the point. I've gotten used to it and I'm okay with it because it's the way things are. What's not okay is being treated differently as a result of yours and Tony's personal relationship."

Tim stood and paced a few feet and came back, obviously working his way up to something. Gibbs gave him the silence to work with while, he, himself strove to take in everything he was hearing. Sure enough, it wasn't long before Tim had more to say.

'That's where the respect comes in, you know? Since we all have to earn it, no one can dictate how much someone else respects any other person. But unless I've given you a reason for it, then the way you two treated me while Ziva was gone was definitely not respectful. That Friday night was the last straw, Gibbs. Abby always claims it was your Rule #12 that broke us up; your rules govern this team, without question. Even though we've all seen you break those rules when necessary to bring justice to a victim or find the guilty person and close the case."

At this point Tim stopped pacing and looked Gibbs straight on, needing him to see for himself just how deeply he was reaching down inside himself for this. "But when you break your own rule, like you did… that line was crossed once too often that night, especially since this time….you crossed it too."

Gibbs now struggled in shock at the triple, no; quadruple whammy Tim had just given him. That apologizing really didn't do anything; that he needed to understand that he, the Team Leader, had still allowed the problems to occur - multiple times; that Tim was used to being treated poorly because that's the way things have always been and continue to be; that he is treated differently as a result of his boss' personal relationship with his teammate. And most of all that Tim's strongest sense of betrayal came from Gibbs. The Team Leader, in taking this all in, also acknowledged internally that along with the sickening twist in his gut that he'd caused his agent, his youngest, pain, he also found himself very proud of Tim for standing his ground and getting all this out.

Giving himself a mental headslap, he focused on his agent and the problems at hand. _He would tell Tim later how proud he was of him, but wait, isn't that what he always thinks and does he ever follow through? Gibbs knew that this had to be played out. It had to be taken seriously and taken care of now. If his team was gonna be a team that could safely protect and respect each other, this could not be left to fester any longer. This was crucial to the successful healing and bonding of the rift. _

Feeling frazzled and completely vulnerable, Tim sat back down, his audible sigh so deep, there was no doubt he was drenched in exhaustion. "Knew this was a bad idea." He muttered under his breath, even as his eyes remained fixed on the ground at his feet.

"Only thing bad about it, McGee – is that we put you through it to begin with."

Tim shook his head in denial. "I can tell that you don't even see how long this has been going on. You only turn to me for help when you have to! You don't think of me with the same sense of reliability and trust that you do Tony or even Ziva. For some reason I didn't understand before, I'm still having to prove myself to you like I'm still a green probie new to the job. I've been on this team for how long now and you haven't tried to send me undercover – and you won't let me leave the country when we get the need to do so even for something as simple as bringing a witness back to this country. I'll always be your technical support first and field agent last. And as long as all this is all you think of when it comes to me; you will never fully see me as a Field Agent with any more potential. And yes, all of this does have to do with your outside relationship with each other; because that's the reason for all of it! It all makes sense now. Your personal relationship finally explains it all. You have each other's backs and the hell with me.

Tim ran out of steam and out of things to say. As he stood there, regaining his breath and waiting to see what Gibbs would do or say hext, he couldn't help but think: _What now? Now that he had thrown it all out there; where did that leave him? What did that leave him as the next thing to do?_

Gibbs could not, for the life of him, think why he allowed Tony so much room to mistreat their teammate. He supposed that it was a matter of habit after giving Tony permission to toughen up the Probie in his first year. They, he and DiNozzo, had simply never stopped. Gibbs because he took the teasing and harassment as 'horseplay' on Tony's part and apparently turned a blind eye to the severity. He thought, sadly now, that Tony had never stopped because he had never been instructed to stop. And along with all the teasing and pranks, Gibbs knew that Tim had had every right to file sexual harassment complaints against DiNozzo and against his supervisor, Gibbs, for failing to take action. Still did. Holding out for hope, Gibbs reached for what little of it in the situation he did see.

"I'm guessing the fact that you're still here means you're somehow willing to work with us again; with Tony and me?"

"When you left us to retire to Mexico, Tony went from being my nemesis one day, to my Team Leader the next. We survived; _together_. We are a team. I'm not going to be the one to deliberately tear this team apart." Tim told him firmly.

Gibbs nodded with understanding and a secret wave of relief. Then it hit him; Tim already didn't trust Tony enough to go anywhere with him so how the hell was this supposed to work?

Tim shook his head minutely, as if reading his mind. "Doesn't mean it's my final decision. If Tony comes back and he's gotten to a point where he's okay with things on the team; then yes. I'll stay and somehow, we'll work through this. But, if he comes back and he's still upset – than I won't have any choice but to put in for a transfer."

"No, McGee."

""Like I said, not gonna break up the rest of your team" Tim seriously reiterated. "He may have treated me like crap through this whole mess, but that doesn't change who I am. He's been your Senior Field Agent a lot longer than I've been the team Probie. No contest."

"You're damn right there's no contest! It's not a competition, McGee!"

"Then why does it feel like one?" Tim asked seriously as he looked Gibbs straight on. "It's felt like one for years now. But, that's not the point. The point is; that I won't do anything to displace Tony from your team. He needs you as Team Leader."

"What about you, Tim? What do you need?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Haven't heard a word I've said tonight, have you, McGee?" Gibbs asked agitatedly. "It damn well does matter! It may not have seemed like it and for that I apologise."

Tim nodded briefly to let him know he'd heard what he was saying.

Gibbs placed his hand on Tim's shoulder firmly to drive his next point home. "But, you do matter and you need to understand that."


	26. Chapter 26

_Two weeks later_

_So long as Tony's able to come back and move on – then we're okay. But if he's not okay when he comes back – I have no choice but to resign. This has messed with his life enough as it is. I won't let it do any more damage. Not when I can do something to stop it._

In the ten days following the talk Tim and Gibbs finally were able to have, all things work related seemed to return to an almost seamless level of normal. Amazingly enough, communications seemed to be at a different level between the two men, although not quite visible unless you were looking for it. Only those who knew them well and were concerned were looking for it.

Ziva had tried to visit Tim on the first weekend after they'd closed that cold case because he'd completely forgotten about her and Abby taking him to dinner and she knew that wasn't like him. While he hadn't been home at all that Friday night, she did finally receive a voicemail message from him, very early on Saturday morning, before she'd even awoken, profusely apologizing while explaining that Gibbs had taken him to dinner and they'd finally hashed things out. He'd gone on to say that he was fine and would see her at work later that morning since they'd had the previous two weekends off.

Abby had received the exact same voicemail message from Tim and had been nearly jumping for joy to hear that two of her favorite men had finally broken down the barriers between them enough to talk. Since her Timmy had let it slip that one night in her lab, she'd known that he'd needed this from Gibbs for a very long time. This development had buoyed her spirits about the whole mess; leaving her only vaguely concerned that Tony would muck things up with his less than 'big brother' attitude towards Tim lately. Shaking that off, she'd gone to work happier than a clam.

No further mention had been made of any of it, as imposed by the obvious improvement in the atmosphere between Gibbs and Tim. The subtle improvements gave Ziva hope that all was not lost, but she could also still see doubt in Tim's eyes on the occasion he happened to glance Gibbs' way. It was almost as if he wasn't sure this peace would last and who could blame him? She never let on that she noticed when he would get that look in his eye that said he was remembering something important for himself and she never pushed him to tell her about it. Instead, they worked with a friendly cohesiveness that didn't require much effort or explanation.

This past weekend had gone by with only slightly better results, almost as if recovery was moving in the sad pattern of '_one step forward, one and a half steps back'_. While Abby and Ziva had finally been able to take Tim for the dinner they'd been promised on Friday night, it hadn't been a very jovial one – in fact, when they looked hard, they could see he actually seemed worried about something.

When they'd asked him about it, he'd shaken his head in refusal to let them in; not wanting to burden them with whatever it was bothering him. Only Abby's insistence that they do something fun and boisterous to take their minds off all of it, had saved the day; sending them off to a rousing full game of bowling that took them until the wee hours of the morning to wind down from and crash at Ziva's, slumber party style.

Saturday morning found that Tim had slipped away, leaving only a note to let them know he'd gone home and would be tied up for the remainder of the weekend. Although the note had included sincere appreciation for the time spent together, it left unanswered questions as well. After speculating that their friend was worried about what would happen when Tony came back on Monday, they decided to respect Tim's wishes and leave him be.

*****NCIS******

By the time the secondSaturday had rolled around for the Team Leader, the silver haired man was exhausted. He remembered the last conversation he and Tim tried to have about things that still needed to be cleared up between them. It had been the Monday morning following their Friday night talk.

He remembered that Monday morning because he had sat up in bed, thoroughly awakened by a revelation he'd just had. He'd managed to hammer some stuff out with Tim but in his sleep he'd realized that Tim thought the relationship with Tony had been going on for years. In reality it had only been three months. He needed to fix that with Tim - today! Groaning, as he didn't know what that would do to the shaky ground he was still on with the younger man, he looked at the clock, 4:30 AM, might as well get up. Thirty minutes later found him on his second cup of coffee, heading into the office.

He'd been able to talk to Tim about it as soon as the young man had come in at six and gotten his first cup of office coffee. It hadn't been a long conversation, but it had needed to be said. Somehow, it had been left off their all important conversation the week before, leaving the urgency in place in Gibbs' gut that this be resolved as soon as possible. Following Tim into the break room, Gibbs had politely requested that the younger man walk with him so they could discuss this in private. Standing alone in an unmonitored observation room, Gibbs had looked the young man in the eye and laid it out on the table.

_***FLASHBACK***_

"_Need to set the record straight on something, Tim."_

_"Okay." Tim was unyielding as he stood toe to toe with the boss, oozing with the confidence that came from knowing he hadn't done anything wrong._

"_Last week, you said the crap and the favoritism has been going on for longer than I realized."_

"_It has."_

_Gibbs began his response with a nod of acknowledgment._"_The point is, Tim. That you're convinced that it's all because Tony and I have been together since before you came on the team."_

"_It's the only reason that makes sense."_

"_That's because we've been handling things wrong for a long time, Tim. But it hasn't been for any other reason than that."_

"_It hasn't."Tim repeated in feigned calm._

"_Three months."_

"_Three months?" Tim echoed as he straightened his posture, in obvious readiness to walk out of the room. "It doesn't matter, Gibbs. It doesn't change anything. Matter of fact; that just makes it worse because apparently, I was right, after all."_

_Gibbs watched in frustration as Tim walked out of the room, obviously unwilling to discuss this any further. Things had just slid back downhill and once again, he had been the cause. He wasn't sure where this would go from here, but he did know it wasn't going to be easy.  
_  
_***END FLASHBACK***_

**_***NCIS****_**

_Is anyone ever beyond redemption, as long as they're still breathing?_

Tim couldn't help but grimace at that thought as it crossed his mind, amidst everything else that Gibbs' revelation had resurrected and now clouded his trouble was, he couldn't get it out of his head now; that blip of a conversation he'd heard that night; as those words - the words that had deeply cut into his soul – came back to him now.

_What I tell you when we first coupled up, Anthony?"_

_"God, You know how it turns me on when you say my name like that! Say it again, please."_

_"Not until you answer the question." _

_"Gibbs that was three months ago! You think I remember?"_

Tim frowned at the memory as he tried to reconcile it with what he'd experienced for the past seven years. _That meant that all those years of being treated that way by these two were what? Fun and games for the hell of it? **Handling it wrong?** What was he supposed to do with that explanation? It certainly didn't make any of this any easier to swallow. And what did it say for the man's reliability as a Team Leader where Tim's safety out in the field at the same time as the Senior Field Agent was concerned? _

Sighing deeply, he realized that he kept coming back to those trust - or lack of trust - issues again. And what he'd promised Gibbs – that he would leave the team if Tony's attitude hadn't changed - had been based on his understanding that Gibbs' and Tony's was a committed, long term relationship, thatthe behavior that went with that attitudewas so deeply ingrained in Tony that it would be too hard to change and unrealistic and unfair to expect such change. _But THREE months? That was just…he was **not** leaving his job – his career – for their three month fling! He'd busted his ass to earn this job and he was damn sure not giving it up for this!_

Restlessly, he took up his keys, weapon and id and headed out, needing to clear his head. At this rate, it was going to be a long weekend. Here it was only Saturday afternoon and he couldn't stop thinking about this mess!

*****NCIS******

Tim wearily let himself into his apartment, put his weapon in the lockbox and headed for the shower now that he'd given his all to the five mile run he'd hoped would help clear his head. The attempt had been unsuccessful and he was so tired of thinking, but his mind would not stop, just kept whirling around with the whole mess. Between the three months, Gibbs' statement about handling it wrong, Gibbs & Tony together, lack of trust and the idea of leaving his job for nothing, it was enough to give him a migraine, which thankfully had not yet soothing steam calmed him a bit and he resolved to do his best to relax for the rest of this weekend. His stress level was too high and he needed to unwind as best he could. _Right, he could do that! Relax and get some decent food in him, now that he'd gotten his fresh air and exercise. _

After showering away the sweat from his run and putting on his most comfortable sweat pants & favorite tee shirt, Tim rummaged through his kitchen, looking for something healthy to eat. Once he'd eaten**, **he realized more fresh air and a change of scenery would do him good and headed back out. He took a long walk to his neighborhood park, enjoying both the calm, steady movement and the fresh air. It helped his perspective, to see other people going about their lives, neither knowing nor caring about Tim's situation. By the time he returned he was able to breathe more comfortably and the whirlwind in his mind had settled down into a gentler cycle. When he returned home, the first thing he spotted was his typewriter and he knew what he needed to do next**. **

It had once been his custom to_ "free write"_ when he needed clarity, to just let the words flow. He had stopped writing quite some time ago and put aside his free writing too. Now he realized it was time to jump back in.

Tim leaned back in his chair after several hours of pounding the typewriter, taking the stack of papers covered with his thoughts and moving them to the shredder. His very logical and methodical mind enabled him to make a mental matrix of the points and decisions to be made. _Now, he'd come to the point where he'd thought it all into the ground and he wasn't prepared to think about it for another minute. He knew what he wanted; what he wouldn't put up with anymore and what he would and wouldn't sacrifice to this mess. He'd lost enough to it already and he hadn't even done anything wrong._

He'd keep his word to Gibbs and give Tony the chance to let them see where his head was at when he came back. But that was as far as Tim was willing to compromise. He'd take some time off away from the team, give Gibbs & DiNozzo time to pull their heads out of their asses, but he was **not** leaving. He'd earned his career and he wasn't about to let anyone take that away from him or force him out. The time for them to keep treating him the way they had been was over as well.

Tim knew that there was still a chance that the team wouldn't survive this, that the team might still be split; this time probably being the last_. _But on reflection, he realized that if it did come down to that, he was not responsible for it**.**Gibbs had already broken it when he & Tony "coupled up".

Letting out a deep sigh, Tim turned his thoughts to the next valid question that needed to be answered. _What changes need to be made?_Obviously the past couldn't be changed. He knew he not only wanted an apology from BOTH Gibbs & Tony for "handling it wrong"; but that he deserved one from eachof them. Gritting his teeth he thought that if nothing else Gibbs needed to know he had to find a more meaningful way to say whatever it is he was trying to get Tim to hear from him. With an internal sigh, Tim realized that he also wanted verbal assurance from BOTH MEN that the crappy way he'd been treated would stop now.

He'd decided he would not accept any "well that's just how I am" from Tony or similar from Gibbs. It didn't sit well with him when he first heard it and it still rankled him that this was the excuse he'd been given. Tim knew they'd have to work to regain his trust - and he hoped they'd not only understand that, but know that it would be up to them to figure out how and that they would need to start right away, without any signs of putting it off, hoping it would all just go away.

Tim glanced at the clock and frowned. It was close to midnight and he needed sleep! He knew this wouldn't get better overnight, tomorrow, next week or even next month. It would take time and a commitment from all three of them. He wondered how he'd express this to Gibbs, but figured just writing it out and saying it would be the best bet.

As he readied himself for bed, his firm resolutions set in his mind and in his heart in a way that felt right, he realized he still needed to leave himself an out – in the event that his best efforts were thwarted despite his best intentions to the contrary.

It dawned on him that one way to insure that his plan to not have to give up his job would work, would be to insist on only being paired in the field with Ziva until Gibbs & Tony had proved their trustworthiness. Tim was seriously committed to his decision to not go into the field alone with either one of them. He realized that would be difficult, but tough noogies...it wasn't anything Tim was going to feel the slightest bit guilty for. After all, itwas**,** Gibbs' problem, not his!

For the first time in two weeks, he fell asleep easily and quickly, sleeping deeply throughout the night.

Tim woke early, grabbed a shower & breakfast and thought about what he wanted to do today. Last night's run and relaxing walk had done so much good; he knew he wanted to stay in "that zone" as much as possible. He made a quick decision, grabbed his phone and pressed a number high on his speed dial. He laughed at the quick answer –

"Good Morning, Ziva, I'm glad I didn't wake you! Wondered if you'd like to join me for a hike today? "

"_Good Morning to you Tim! Yes, I'd love that. Where shall we go?" _

"How about Rock Creek Park?"

Hearing Ziva's gasp of dismay, Tim chuckled. "Just kidding! I thought we could go to the Appalachian Trail's southern entry point into the park. I haven't been to that portion of the park and it wasn't part of that investigation we had down there. That'll give us a bit of a drive in this beautiful weather and a hike when we get there."

******NCIS*******

Monday morning, Tony stepped out of the elevator on his first day back at work with enough pep in his step that no one even gave him a second look, since nothing seemed off with him. He'd made sure he was just on time so he'd have a nice audience to play to. He strutted as he walked to his desk., his normal brash goofing off persona was back in place, as if nothing was wrong.

"Hey, everybody! DiNozzo's back! Did ya miss me?" He crowed cockily as he plopped down into his chair and booted up his computer.

Knowing Tony was looking for the attention and most likely watching for it, Tim fought with himself as to how to handle this. He'd struggled with how to handle this moment for the past two weeks. It was frustrating to realize that no matter how many hours he'd spent thinking about it and worrying about it, he was still very uncomfortable. Even spending the day with Ziva yesterday, doing nothing more than relaxing and having fun, hadn't managed to completely dispel the concern he'd carried for this moment. Nothing had really prepared him for experiencing this first day with all members of the team present in the squad room. It was here and he didn't have a clue how to handle it

He knew Tony well enough to see what he was trying to hide. Tim could tell by the Senior Field Agent's body language that he was definitely NOT okay with being around him- or even Gibbs from the looks of things. That made it much harder to come up with an appropriate answer, if there was one. Settling for a thin smile, Tim said nothing as he turned his attention to his own work, making quick work of tuning out the world around him, as the others usually let him do without complaint.

Throughout the day, the return of Tony's "wit" and banter with Tony's typical biting tone, along with the paper balls and the paper clips, failed to bother Tim as he found himself able to roll with the punches. Even so he kept an eye on the expressions and mannerisms coming from the Senior Field Agent. He needed to know where things stood and asking the man was seriously out of the question. By the middle of the afternoon, Tim had seen enough to know his worst fears had come to pass.

When he left work that night, heading out as soon as Gibbs gave the word at seven and took himself out for fresh coffee, Tim didn't say anything to anyone, choosing only to smile softly at Ziva before heading to the back elevator and disappearing from sight.

Watching as Tony silently watched Tim leave for the night, without so much as a polite ''nite, Tony", as he used to offer all the time, Ziva spoke into the uncomfortable silence the young man had left behind in his wake, "Tony."

Looking up from his work, the Senior Field Agent looked over at her expectantly. "Ziva?"

Getting up from her desk and approached the Senior Field Agent's workspace, going so far as to perch herself on the edge of his desk, determined to keep this conversation as quiet as possible.

"There was a time when you and I… when our trust in each other had been seriously damaged, yes?"

Tony swallowed hard. Today had been a bitch of a day. All the joking and horseplay he'd put out there hadn't helped ease the horrible tension in the air between himself and his probie, not a single bit. Now Ziva obviously wanted to rake him over the coals for something and he wasn't sure he had the energy for a battle with her. Still, her words grabbed his attention and his heartstrings so he nodded and quietly answered her. "Yeah. I remember." No sooner had he said that, than the vivid memory of that last conversation they'd ever had about it, came back to him.

***Flashback***

_I was not sure what to say._

_But you were sure it had to be said in the men's room._

_I'm sure it had to be said. When you shot Michael, I almost killed you where you stood._

_I wasn't standing._

_No, you weren't. You were lying on the ground. Without adequate backup, completely violating protocol._

_And double-parked._

_Yes, I noticed. But that does not matter. Just like it does not matter how it worked out for Michael._

_So what does?_

_That you had my back. That you have always had my back And that I was... Wrong... To question  
your motives._

_So why did you?_

_I trusted my brother Ari. I trusted Michael. I could not afford to trust you._

_I thought you weren't sure what to say._

_Guess I had a long time to think about things._

_I'm sorry, Ziva._

_No. It is I who am sorry. Your instincts were right. You were a cop, __and I should have never faulted you for thinking like one._

"Tony?" Ziva called him back from his memory.

"Yeah, Ziva. And I know where you're going with this, alright? I know I damaged Probie's trust in me. I'm working on it, alright? I can't give you any more than that right now." He looked her straight on. "What more do you want from me?"

"It is not what I want that should concern you Tony." She said as she got up and left the squad room, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his problem.


	27. Chapter 27

"Hey, Duck." Gibbs quietly addressed his long-time friend while strolling through the Autopsy doors.

"Hello, Jethro. I trust you've come looking for something; an answer to a mysteryperhaps?" Ducky's knack for knowing when the younger man was troubled served him well.

"McGee."As usual, the Team Leader wasted no time in beating around the bush.

"Oh? I understood that you'd already sent your team home for the evening."

"Well, yeah."

"For some reason you believed Timothy would be down here with me."

"He's been watchin' Tony all day."

"Yes, well I suppose with this being Anthony's first day back to work, Timothy was possibly feeling anxious as to how Anthony would respond to working with him once more. Tell me, Jethro, how did it go?

"Same ole DiNozzo."

"Oh?"

"Class clown, center of attention. Crackin' jokes and throwin' paper balls around all day."

"Underneath all of that, what did you see? We both know you read Anthony much better than even he realizes."

"Think McGee does too."

"Hence the need to know what Timothy is thinking,"

"He made it clear he wouldn't stay if Tony wasn't comfortable coming back. That's why I figured he'd have run it by you."

"I'm afraid Timothy said precious little while he was here, Jethro. Although he did look quite pensive and said he'd only come down to say goodnight."

"He ever do that before?"

"Ever since this dreadful mess came about, yes. He has done it quite frequently. Tell me Jethro, why have you not spoken of your concern for your relationship with Anthony? I trust you _are_concerned in that area?"

"We'll work it out when he's ready. He's not there yet and right now, I'm more worried about the possibility of McGee leaving."

Ducky remained quietly thoughtful at that admission.

"That look on your face tells me you're not telling me everything, Duck. He said something about it,"

"No Jethro. He did not. He merely asked me to relay a message to you but only in the event that you were to come asking about it."

"I'm asking."

"He asked that I let you know that he's kept his word. Something about submitting paperwork just as he told you he would." Ducky relayed sadly.

Gibbs turned on his heel and disappeared out the door, making a beeline for the stairs.

"Oh dear. Something tells me that was not what Jethro wanted to hear."

*****NCIS******_"_

Hey, Babe." Tony's seductive voice usually got a smile out of the Lab Rat. But tonight when she heard his voice in his attempt to make her laugh, it only brought out a frown, one she was quick to show him, even as she gave him a 'barely there' briefhug, as though she was required to, instead of because she wanted to. _Great, even Abby's pissed at me._ He thought to himself. _Well, of course, she is, the last time we spoke, we were at each other's throat – and her Timmy's the injured party here__._

Stepping back, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, angrily glaring at him. "Why?"

"Excuse me? Why what, Abby? I've been gone for two weeks, so I'm afraid you're gonna have to spell it out for me."

"We're supposed to be a family, Tony! Families don't step all over each other the way you and Gibbs just did Timmy! And they don't ignore the rest of the family while they run and hide from their own screw-ups and the pain they've caused for two weeks!"

"All righty then!" Tony replied flippantly as he leaned against her worktable. No sooner had he snapped that out to her, than the biggest question that had come up, the last time they'd spoken to each other, flooded his brain.

"_I'm still trying to figure out why you two would do something like that at NCIS – but the bigger question is why would you let your private relationship with each other affect how you treat Timmy? What did he ever do to either of you...?"_

_"Nothing. That's the problem. Probie's never done anything to me –_

"**You think this is funny?" **Abby's raised voice reached through his recollection and yanked Tony back to the present with a thud.

"No, Abby. I don't. Just tryin' to lighten the mood, ya know? Last time you and I saw each other…." He admitted quietly as he leaned back against her worktable.

"Well, unless you're here to tell me that you've already apologized to Timmy for being such a royal jackass, you and I don't have much to talk about, do we?" She shot back airily, as if she already knew he'd come with no such news.

"Forget your bent halo today, Abby?" Tony shot back dryly, automatically reaching for an offensive return, rather than discuss the hurt he couldn't fix; didn't know how to fix when the person he'd wronged wouldn't talk to him..

"I'll take that as a 'no'." She turned her back to him, presumably to go back to work. Nevertheless, he knew she was just choosing to try to freeze him out. An attempt destined to fail, if he had anything to say about it.

"Abby, you and I have been friends a long time." Tony reminded her sadly, genuinely upset that their friendship was in tatters like this.

"Doesn't give you the right to turn your back on Timmy! He's been your friend for a long time too and he deserves better than what you and Gibbs have given him!"

"Yeah. I got that already, Abbs. See, here's the thing. He deserves better than he's gotten from you, too, whether you're ready to admit it or not. So, will you stop preachin' to me for a sec and hear me out, please?"

She glared at him silently, but her wounded look and the tears in her eyes screamed volumes of how slapped she felt.

"Please?" He pushed quietly respectful of what he was asking of her.

"Humph!" She pouted verbally. "Fine! But this better be good!"

"I'll have to let you be the judge of that. Look, I realize now that I screwed up, okay? It just took me a while to see it. But I realize now, that I let my personal insecurities take over and they've made a complete mess of it all."

"Sounds like someone's been talking to their therapist in the last two weeks." Abby remarked with partial understanding.

"Every single day." Tony admitted seriously before continuing on. "I mean, who would have thought that the issues with my father leaving me behind in that hotel room, ignoring me for years at a time and parading step-mother after step-mother through my life, would have led to me clinging to the first decent relationship I've ever had that was real and stepping on others to keep it, huh?" Tony's tone remained seriously introspective, as if he knew just how deep he'd had to dig to get to this truth. "I mean, go figure, the one time he tanned my hide for ripping up his expensive ski suit for my Halloween costume gave me the attention that changed it all I guess. Better a head slap than nothing at all, right?

"Tony." Her anger somewhat diminished, Abby's voice echoed the bit of sympathy she felt for him, her eyes softened a bit towards him. She hadn't expected him to talk about his childhood; to tap into the real problem, whatever it was. She was glad to see that he had been able to dig down.

Tony shook his head. "No, Abby. You were right. Tim didn't deserve any of it. Not from me, or Gibbs or even from you. Hell, I'm not even sure why he's still here puttin' up with it all!"

"Tony, I'm really glad you've been able to work through some of the crap you had buried to actually see the problem for what it is; but until you actually fix things with Timmy, it doesn't change things for any of us because nothing is as it should be and the stress and strain is becoming unbearable!" Abby complained. "Just because he wants to be here, on the job he's worked for all his life and earned, doesn't mean Timmy doesn't deserve to be treated better starting right now!"

"Kinda hard to fix anything when the guy won't even give me the time of day, Abbs." Tony reminded her sadly. "Not to mention he's gone for the day already."

"Not just for the day, I'm afraid." Ducky offered unexpectedly as he arrived silently into the conversation.

*****NCIS******

"You can't accept it." Gibbs demanded as he barged into the Director's Office a short three minutes after leaving autopsy, having heard the M.E.'s unpleasant news.

"Beg your pardon?" Leon Vance stated dryly. "If I'm not mistaken there is a door there and it was closed a moment ago. Which means you were supposed to knock on it and wait for a verbal invitation to come in!"

"Leon, you can't accept McGee's …."

"Gibbs, I know you favor Agent DiNozzo over Agent McGee on a regular basis; but this is taking it too far, even for you."

"What?"

"You barge in here demanding that I not accept Agent McGee's request after I just got done accepting Agent DiNozzo's request for even more time off. Why is that?"

"Time off?"

"Yes, Gibbs. Agent McGee your agent; the second one to do so in the past three weeks, I might add, put in an emergency request for one week off. You act as if you didn't know about this. If that's so – why are you barging into my office demanding that I not accept it?"

Gibbs offered no reply, his trademark silent stare speaking volumes for him to the man who could read him better than most people thought he could.

"You thought he submitted something different. A transfer request, maybe?"

Gibbs visibly flinched, a rare occurrence in itself.

"I see." Vance stated with disappointment. "Look, Gibbs. I don't know what's going on with your team, but I expect you to fix it. I'll be out of the office for the next week and I want an office still standing and my MCRT still intact when I get back, is that understood? If I see one more piece of paper from your team that you don't know about first – you and I are gonna have a serious talk about team management when I get back."

"Understood."

"Good. Now, rumor has it that Agents McGee and DiNozzo have been on the most serious of outs that they've ever been with each other before. Matter of fact, from what I've heard, the entire agency is expecting Agent McGee to be requesting a transfer any day now. And judging by the way you blew in here, you thought he'd already submitted it. Why is that?"

"Nothing I can't handle, Leon."

"That explains you busting through my door making demands." The Agency head returned dryly as he clenched the ever present toothpick between his teeth in frustration.

"One week?" Gibbs asked in a tone that said that much time was more than enough to fix the problem.

"One week. That's all you've got to fix things between them. When I get back, I don't want to see any discord on your team or I'll step in, dig out the root of the problem and fix it myself, even if I have to split your team up for good to do it!"

Gibbs nodded affirmatively and left the room, the door softly clicking closed behind him as he left.

*****NCIS******

Banging his fist down on the steering wheel of his car, Tony let out an expletive that allowed him to let out some steam. As soon as Ducky had let it be known that the likely outcome of the tension between Tony and Tim today had been Tim's resignation, Tony had bolted from Abby's lab, signed out and raced over here to Tim's apartment. They really did need to talk. Unfortunately, his probie wasn't home and he hadn't a clue where the younger man might be right about now. That thought was followed by one that really hit him in the gut, the sad realization that due to Tony's own actions, Tim was no longer "his" anything – probie or co-worker.

_Was there hope that he would still be allowed to be McGee's friend? Or had he forever screwed that up, too?_

Deflated and feeling a wave of hopelessness crash down around him, Tony heaved out a huge sigh and pulled out of the parking lot, unable to stare into the face of yet another failure for another minute. Driving back towards his own apartment, Tony felt the pull of the idea of a nice cold beer to wash his troubles away. Spotting an unfamiliar joint not too far from Tim's place; the Senior Field Agent pulled in to the lot, parked, looked the place over and turned off his car. _Yeah, this was just what he needed.  
_

*****NCIS******

Having just come from the grocery store, his arms overflowing, Tim struggled to unlock his apartment door. Once inside, he managed to set the bags down on the counter without spilling the contents, breathing a sigh of relief. Now that he had a week off from work, he wanted to get things caught up for himself that he hadn't been able to keep up with lately; like having food in the house enough that he could cook one day and have meals frozen for the rest of the weeks ahead.

While cooking soothed away the tension, away he hated the heavy cleanup so tried to confine it to once a week. Several hours later, completely worn out but happy that his mission had been accomplished, Tim looked around his once again clean kitchen and smiled**,** taking in the mountain of food storage containers that had been filled**.** Now he could relax for the rest of his time off. Setting the dishtowel down, he put the food away, turned out the lights and headed to bed. Glancing at his bedside clock, he wasn't surprised to see that it was going on midnight. It had been a long day and he was exhausted.

*****NCIS*****

It seemed like he'd only been asleep for a minute, when the shrill ring of his cell phone interrupted Tim's dreamless sleep. With a groan of displeasure, he reached out an arm, groping for the offending device. Snatching it up, he flipped it open and growled into it.

"Hello?"

"_Agent Gibbs? I'm calling about your Agent, a Tony DiNozzo? I think you'd better come and get him."_

* * *

_A/N: What happens now that someone's called Tim to Tony's rescue by mistake?_


	28. Chapter 28

Snapping up the ringing phone from its cradle, Gibbs looked around his nearly empty squad room the next day with a storm brewing in his eyes. Neither Tim nor Tony was present and Ziva looked genuinely worried, which did not bode well for things turning out right for his missing men.

"Yeah, Gibbs!"

"_Hey, Boss."_ Tony's strained voice came over the phone.

"DiNozzo, where the hell are you? You've been back one day and already you've gone AWOL?"

"_Ouch, Boss, please easy on the yellin' please."_

"You got three seconds to tell me that you are NOT calling in because you went out and got plastered last night!"

"_Can't believe Probie would come get me in the middle of the night, but wouldn't make this call for me."_ Tony muttered under his breath.

"_I'm not the one who went out and drank himself under the table last night instead of just admitting the truth about what was bothering him and had to have someone come and get him at 1 in the morning! And I'm not the one who's too hung over to be left alone safely without being at risk for hurting yourself when you pass out in the floor." _Tim's voice angrily corrected in the background. _"Besides, I don't have to answer for my whereabouts this morning. Can't say the same for you."_

"_You hear that, Boss?"_ Tony threw out there. "_Probie won't even help a teammate out. Hey! What truth might that be, Probie-wan? And Whattaya mean you don't…?" _

"_Forget it! You're in no shape to remember anything anyway!"_

"_Like I said, Boss, Probie won't even help me out." Tony whined. "Tellll me, McGeeeeeeeeeee!"_

"DiNozzo! Hand him the phone and take your butt back to bed. Don't pull this stunt again, and don't even think of startin' in on him about anything, either." Gibbs ordered sternly.

"_But, Bosssss! Probie's being mean to me!"_ Tony drunkenly whined.

"That why he's having to play nursemaid to you and your hangover when you should be at work?" Gibbs quipped dryly."

"_Well, no, but…"_

"Hand McGee the phone, Tony, now!"

"_Here, McGrumpy. Boss wants to talk to you."_

"_Go back to sleep, DiNozzo. Your ass better be in here on time in the morning."_

"_Yes, Boss."_

"_McGee."_

"_We need to talk, Tim."_

Breathing out a weary sigh of resignation, Tim replied quietly. "_I'm leaving DiNozzo's now. I'll meet you at the bench in 20."_

_NCIS NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS_

As Tim drove through the last of the commute traffic, he noticed a sock on the passenger seat of his car. One white tube sock, definitely not his. He realized DiNozzo must have left it behind last night during Tim's "rescue run" and grit his teeth remembering that whole ordeal.

_Flashback:_

_It seemed like Tim had only been asleep for a minute, when the shrill ring of his cell phone interrupted his dreamless sleep. With a groan of displeasure, he reached out an arm, groping for the offending device. Snatching it up, he flipped it open and growled into it._

"_Hello?"_

"_Agent Gibbs? I'm calling about your Agent, a Tony DiNozzo? I think you'd better come and get him."_

_Tim didn't bother telling the guy he wasn't Gibbs. He struggled out of bed, got dressed, grabbed his keys, wallet and weapon and left his apartment, trying very hard not to think about the irony of having to rescue DiNozzo from this situation, likely caused by the pompous fool's inability to deal with the consequences of his own cruelty to him – Tim. Realizing that thinking about it any further would just piss him off even more right now, Tim fought to calm down. He just needed to deal with getting DiNozzo safely home. Huffing in angry frustration, he quickly drove to the bar, walked up to the bartender and was pointed in the right direction to find his greatly inebriated teammate. "C'mon, DiNozzo, let's go."_

"_Huh? Whut r u doin' here, Pro…o.…bie?" Tony's slurred speech only served to anger Tim more and he couldn't stop the sharp retort that flew from his mouth._

"_Pickin' your sorry ass up before you fall out in the floor. What's it look like I'm doin' here? Look. How 'bout this. You don't speak. Just do as I say til your head hits the pillow at your place, got it?"_

"_K. Wow, someone's crannnkkky."_

"_Not another word, DiNozzo." Tim growled menacingly. _

_He hauled a now thankfully silent and bedraggled DiNozzo out of his seat and towards the door, stopping only long enough to thank the bartender before continuing on outside with his burden.. He nearly dragged Tony out to the parking lot where he half dumped him into the Porsche's passenger seat, not taking too particular a care for the comfort of the drunkard. During the thankfully short drive to the older man's apartment, Tim did not utter another word, except to sharply warn Tony not to be sick in the car._

_Once at DiNozzo's apartment, he again hauled him from the car and into his place. As he unlocked the door and let the drunken idiot fall onto the couch, Tim realized that he was too drunk to leave him safely on his own; he was going to be stuck here for the night. The thought pissed him off beyond belief, but he was here now, he may as well get the jackhole settled, then he himself could get some sleep and escape first thing in the morning. _

_With a weary sigh, Tim once again hauled the heavier man, this time to the bedroom. Letting him half fall onto the bed, he removed his jacket and shoes, covered him up, then made sure there was a bottled water, a couple of pain relievers and a wastebasket all within reach of the drunk, who would certainly be needing all of it when he woke up. Grabbing a pillow and one of the blankets from the bed, Tim flopped down on the couch and finally closed his aching eyelids. He woke an hour later as he heard DiNozzo stumbling to the bathroom to start the inevitable purging process._

_Sleep was elusive after that as the ungodly sounds of the Tony's retching took most of what was left of the night and early morning. Once he seemed to have completed purging the alcohol from his system, he settled down and Tim was finally able to grab another hour or so of sleep before dawn. As the first signs of the new day began to filter into the living room, Tim woke with a start, grimacing as he remembered where he was and why. Pushing himself up, he headed for the kitchen for his first cup of coffee, welcoming himself to his first day off. _

_End Flashback_

As Tim now parked the Porsche, he noticed Gibbs walking towards the bench facing the Anacostia River, a coffee cup in each hand. Tim remained sitting in the car for a minute, thinking through what still lay between them, what he needed to say and what he still needed to hear. He took a deep breath, and then got out and headed for the bench, the coffee and the man who still had a long way to go to fix things between them.

As he approached, Gibbs turned and silently handed him a coffee, Tim gave him a slight nod, letting the older man's own trademark response speak for him. Sitting, they each sipped their coffees for a minute or two. Gibbs started the conversation:

"Want to thank you for not leaving, for takin' some time off instead. Proud of you for making that decision."

"Don't thank me. What you told me, that your relationship with DiNozzo had been for 3 months, not years, changed my mind about leaving. I'm not stupid, I'm not about to give up my career for your 3 month fling. But DiNozzo's behavior yesterday just…really pissed me off and I had to get out of there. Not real happy with having to rescue him from himself at one in the morning either, but…"

"Tim, I'm still proud of you for dealing with it the way you did and requesting the time off so you could get away for a few days. Appreciate you rescuin' him last night. Musta' been tough. Does that mean you're stayin' with the team?"

"Not set in stone Gibbs. Leaving for my own reasons is still out there. I'm not willing to commit to anything without some explanation and changes from both of you. Not to mention the whole trust issue."

Gibbs frowned, this wasn't what he'd hoped to hear, he thought they'd come further than this.

Tim continued. "What you said about 'handling it wrong'…I gotta say, Gibbs, that was one of the lamest, most disappointing explanations I've ever heard, especially from you. You can't tell me that your reason for 6 years of bullying from you and DiNozzo was "'handling it wrong', any more than your turning a blind eye to everything he was pulling can be excused like that. Whatever the hell that means anyway."

Gibbs sat silently, his mind roiling in shock. Yet once again he felt that pride in Tim's willingness to stand up to him, to tell him his true feelings. As the silence wore on, Tim jumped to his feet. With so much adrenalin flowing through him, he was unable to sit any longer and began pacing on the river walk.

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Tim, I know I'm violating my own rule – again - but I am sorry. I should have found a better way to explain my actions. You know I'm not the one with the words, McGee."

"Doesn't mean you can't talk, Gibbs. I've heard you talking with people before, got your points across just fine. Is it too much of an effort to make with me? Or is it because I'm just your Junior Agent? Because that would just about answer all my questions." Tim tried to ignore the lump in his throat.

"No, Tim, that's not it at all. It's more I don't want to say the wrong thing again than not wanting to say anything. I'm willing to try again. If you'll sit back down and give me the chance; and not jump up and leave. "

The lump dissolving a bit, Tim managed a nod and Gibbs continued.

"What I meant by handling it wrong is a coupla' things. First, that I tried to train you the same way I trained DiNozzo – the Marine way. It worked with him, still does, and it's what I know. And yeah, that does include what might be looked at as hazing and some bullying. When the purpose is to toughen you up and save your life or those of a teammate, that's acceptable. And I allowed DiNozzo free rein for that reason. I counted on his experience as a street beat cop; let him use it to help. What I didn't do, is ever give you any positive reinforcement after your initial training. You haven't been a "probie" in a long time but I never broke my habit – or DiNozzo's – of treating you like one, rarely giving you any praise or anything but grief, it seems. I shoulda done that years ago and should have stopped DiNozzo's pranks and teasing when they crossed the line. I know you two need to work on things, but ultimately this is all on me. "

"Second is…well, my attitude towards you. Tim, I never meant to exclude you, to make you feel you weren't an equal member of the team. I didn't think you needed me as more than your boss, I never looked hard enough or close enough to see that maybe you might need some help. I've always valued you as a member of our team, Tim, I am sorry you haven't known that all these years."

"There's more to it than that, Gibbs."

"Yeah?"

"You brought me onto the team as your computer tech, gave me some training as a field agent but not the full training other field agents get. I know, I've checked. I've never had training for undercover work, for instance. My gut tells me that when you think of me, you think "computer" and stop. You're not comfortable with anything electronic and you associate me with electronics, so you're not comfortable with me. You don't believe we have anything in common – and you're wrong there, but then you really don't know much about me, you've never bothered. I figure this is why you still refer to me by my last name, when everyone else, even Jimmy, gets their first name from you. "

Gibbs reeled, feeling sucker punched. He groped for something to say that wouldn't have McG…, no Tim, heading for his car. All he could do is continue speaking from his heart, not something he normally did or was comfortable doing, but for Tim, now, it was necessary. He tried to take a deep breath and it came out shakily. Tim heard the difference and looked away.

"Can't believe you've thought that of me, all these years, Tim. Obviously you're right that I don't know you outside of how you do your job. But that tells me a lot about you, ya know. I know you're smart, determined – never quit anything you set out to do, conscientious, a hard worker, kind - you have an incredibly big heart, treasure honesty and integrity, hold yourself to incredibly high standards, hate seeing people hurt, have a stubborn streak second only to my own and you're a very private person. No, I don't know much about what you do in your spare time other than your writing and computer games. But if I know _who_ you are, do I need to know about t your hobbies?

Gibbs paused to drink some of his coffee and in the silence; Tim pondered what was being handed to him. Before he could think about it any further, the older man was speaking again, in a rare example of opening up until he'd said all that needed to be said.

"I started calling you McGee because again, that's the Marine way. And truth be told, Tim, I was afraid, as young as you were when you first joined the team, that I'd open my mouth to say 'Tim' and 'Timmy' would pop out. I didn't want to do that to you, I don't think you even like Abby to call you that. And again, it was a habit that stayed with me through the years even as your appearance changed."

"And my relationship with Tony and the way we treated you, I was wrong in that too. That's personal between DiNozzo and me, but we were wrong. I understand you losing your trust and respect for me, as your boss and as your partner in the field. I accept the responsibility, whatever your decision, Tim, none of this is on you – I'm the one that broke the team."

Gibbs stopped as he was drained, physically and emotionally. He hadn't said this many words in one conversation, or done all the talking, since he'd lost Shannon. And those conversations had been a lot more pleasant. He looked closely at the young man he needed and wanted to reach. Seeing the pinched brows and look of concentration, he had no doubt Tim was absorbing every word. Not that he doubted, it was just a relief to know it for sure as this much soul searching and baring was something Gibbs rarely did and he wanted to get it right, finally, for Tim, their teammates and his own peace of mind. He held only himself accountable; he had no one to blame but the face in the mirror. He meant what he'd said, this was on his shoulders, he'd obviously lost his way and Tim had paid the price.

Tim looked over at him, forehead furrowed as he processed everything Gibbs had given him. "You've given me a lot to think about, Gibbs. I'm gonna go get us some more coffee, be right back." The Team Leader tilted his head in thanks – and need – as Tim walked back across the street to the coffee shop.

As Tim walked, his mind was reeling with everything that Gibbs had said. He felt both incredibly better and incredibly worse. He'd been right about things he wished he hadn't been right about and he'd been wrong about things he'd been so certain of. He realized that he'd forced Gibbs to take a hard look inward; how did he feel about the results? _Could he continue?_ He hadn't even raised the Abby issues, he knew that was something that really needed tackling, but wasn't sure this was the right time. No, he'd listen to his gut and wait. Things had changed already, even before today; he would wait and see if Gibbs' attitude towards him would really change. He thought about what he still needed to say to Gibbs. He wanted to thank him for opening up, for taking that long hard look inside of himself. He still needed to let him know, even if he was sure Gibbs knew it already, that it would be up to Gibbs & DiNozzo to find a way to re-establish trust.

He smiled internally as he thought of a way to do that.

After getting 2 of the largest sized coffees available and 2 bottles of water, Tim crossed back to the bench. Gibbs sat with his eyes closed and Tim noticed the gray of fatigue on his face, half circles the color of bruises under his eyes. He wondered if he too appeared so exhausted and emotionally worn, he certainly felt it.

As expected, the bold scent of the coffee had Gibbs opening his eyes in anticipation. Tim was heartened to see those blue eyes focus brightly once more. Settling down beside his boss, he handed him his coffee and a water; the two of them once again spent a few minutes sipping their coffees. Tim got his thoughts in order and then spoke softly.

"Thanks Gibbs, for opening up about everything. I know that isn't something you're normally comfortable doing and I… well; it means a lot to me."

"No Tim, don't thank me. You should have known all that, it should never have come to this."

"But it did and I'm hopeful we can move on…Boss."

Gibbs heard that wonderful word, one he hadn't heard from Tim in weeks, one that demonstrated Tim's feelings, and turned his head to look him straight in the eyes.

"You sure, Tim? We've got a lot of work ahead of us…all of us."

"Yes and I'm willing to work with you, to do whatever we need to do. As long as I can see progress, Boss. As long as **we** can see progress."

Gibbs looked at him, eyebrow arched with a half smile.

Tim gave him back a half smile as he continued. "I need to be partnered with Ziva in the field until things are back on track, Gibbs."

"You mean until DiNozzo and I have regained your trust and respect?"

Tim gave a short sharp nod. "And no more teasing or bullying from DiNozzo, no more constant prying into my personal life. No more spreading rumors about me, mocking my appearance or anything in my life, no more lying to me about what to say or not say to the Director or anyone else for his – DiNozzo's - benefit, no more pranks that cost me pain, money or physical damage. He doesn't enter my apartment unless he is specifically invited, no more lock picking unless it's under your orders. He's to stay out of my desk unless he has express permission from me – or you. No more lies! And no more excuses that 'that's just the way he is' from anyone. In short – he stops crossing that line. And this has to stick, not just in the near future but forever, as far as I'm concerned."

"Tim, this sounds like you don't trust DiNozzo at all."

"Trusted him in the field, learned the hard way a long time ago not to trust him with anything else. Thought you knew that by now."

"Need to make sure **he** knows that. Since it was my job to stop him in the first place, years ago, I'll tell him now and make sure the team knows what's appropriate. You'll also need to reinforce it and yes, you have my permission, of course, to do so with **any** of the team, no more worrying about that."

"Good."

"Anything else, Tim? How are you feeling about this?"

"Hopeful. For the first time since this mess started, I feel we might have a chance. Anything else for me, Boss?"

"Yeah. A favor."

"What's that?"

"Habits are hard to break; having said that, I don't think I'll have too much difficulty in the near future. What I'm worried about is later on, slipping back into any of these bad habits. I'd like to know that you'll remind me if that happens."

"Uh Boss, problem is, when you get going, there's usually no telling you anything. Maybe we could come up with a "safe word," Tim chuckled softly, "or phrase that we can use."

Gibbs' eyebrow arched and a grin appeared at the use of "safe word".

"Ok, we can work on that. I'm also going to send myself back to school, it's obvious that I need some refresher courses in Leadership, Team building and Anger Management." He looked at Tim, whose eyebrows had risen at "Leadership".

"You interested in that, taking a Leadership course? It's about time, you know. As much as I treasure you on the team, you can't be a junior agent forever!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'd like that a lot."

"Ok, got some other ideas for you too; including your training for undercover work. I'll talk with Vance when he's back next week. You and I have never really talked about it…you doing undercover work. Strangely enough Tim, one of your greatest assets is also a weakness when it comes to undercover work and that is your inability to lie with a straight face. It's a problem and the biggest reason you've mostly been stuck doing the electronic legwork during our undercover ops. The training you'll have will develop those skills in a different way; teach you to act in an undercover role; to act and to think on your feet when necessary, rather than to lie which is how most people see it."

"As for the rest of the team, gonna send us all back to class for various things, Tim, together and separately. One of the things we'll accomplish is cross training on the electronic searches so you're not the only one stuck doing the electronic legwork."

When the boss stopped talking, Tim had to smile; even if it was just a tiny one. The man had given this a hell of a lot of thought and Tim knew he had to give him credit for that.

Through the ensuing silence, Gibbs looked at Tim and saw something he'd missed recently. Although Tim's face was gray with fatigue and he had half circles the color of bruises under his eyes, his emerald green eyes were sparkling. Taking a chance, he reached out and ruffled his hair. Tim's eyebrow arched, questioning as he turned his face towards Gibbs.

"You hungry? I've got some steaks at the house, could grill them up for us."

Now Tim stared at him in disbelief, a look that both shamed and elated Gibbs. For a moment, the boss feared Tim would refuse to go – since he'd been so devastated by the relationship that had been going on there. He had to wonder if Tim would ever want to step foot in his house again, especially for a non-work related invitation.

Tim felt a moment of absolute refusal to even accept the man's offer, rare as it was. But his innate stubbornness and determination to persevere with anything that was important to him, rode to the surface. "Steak, Boss? Yeah, that's good; that's _always_ good!"


	29. Chapter 29

With every step, his heart had been steadily dropping to his feet as he shuffled his way to the man's front door. It was the first time he'd been here in over two weeks and his nerves were already shot. Here he was steeling himself against what could be the most painful face-off, that with the man who'd held all the pieces lately and who could make or break the way things were now held together.

He reached for the handle cautiously as if he was expecting it to reach out and bite him, breathing a sigh of resignation. This was it; there was no turning back now. Tightening his grip on the handle, he opened the door and stepped inside, locking the door behind him before he made his way to the kitchen. He hoped like hell there was at least one beer waiting for him; because he sure as hell was gonna need as much Dutch courage as possible for this.

*****NCIS******

He'd waited almost three weeks for this night and had known all along that it was inevitable. However now that Tony had taken the first step and was upstairs raiding the fridge for a beer in preparation for this, his own nerves were on edge and he found it difficult to think past the only thought that was playing on his mind. _It would be better if he let Tony take the lead on this. _

He kept sanding the hull of his newest boat and sighed. He had started this one when this mess started as a means of trying to keep his mind focused and his hands busy. Usually, the mundane task of planing or sanding the wood would keep his mind on track, but truth be told, it was doing nothing. Two minutes later, he took a deep breath as the unmistakable sound of Tony's slow footsteps sounded on the wooden stairs to the basement.

"Still workin' on the boat?" Tony's almost nonchalant tone didn't quite hide the underlying accusation that Gibbs was indeed replacing Tony with the newest creation, or the reminder of the argument they'd had about it in this very place two weeks ago.**  
**  
Setting the hand tool down, Gibbs walked over to his worktable and reached up for a new bottle. Tony watched Gibbs' reaction to his underhanded accusation. He hadn't been able to stop himself from hitting the man over the head with it and felt shame roll through him. With a mental head slap, the young man pulled himself together. He had already been willing and able, with his shrink's help, to admit that he shared equal guilt with Gibbs and taking this abrasive road with Gibbs wouldn't end well for either of them. They sure as hell weren't going to make any headway with fixing things between them going about it this way**.**

"Didn't mean that the way it sounded." Tony's apology was in his tone as he spoke quietly, standing in place, looking decidedly uncomfortable in his own skin while he waited to hear what the older man had to say.

"Doesn't mean you were wrong." Gibbs looked over at him from where he stood across the space between them, nursing his fresh mug of bourbon. For that split second, their eyes locked in the uncomfortable silence as if both of them were trying to weigh what to say; what they thought the other needed to hear.

"I shouldn't have run the way I did." Tony finally broke the silence, as he looked away, unable to continue looking into those oceans of blue that had carried him away all those weeks ago.

"Yeah, well I shouldn't have chased you off."

"I shouldn't have been blaming you or McGee for any of this."

"You're right about not blaming McGee. Maybe I should have told you sooner." Gibbs countered and perched on the stool he kept down in the basement.

"Huh…" Tony said took a swig of his beer. "I shouldn't have asked for that attention at work."

"I sure as hell shouldn't have given it."

"Heh. Okay." Tony breathed out on a choked laugh and shook his head. "Not how I pictured this conversation happening. Guess I hoped for more… thought this would clear the air or at least get somewhere...ahem…I guess I let myself believe you actually cared… wanted what we had."

Gibbs watched Tony silently, not missing the underlying hurt that lingered in those eyes that were normally shrouded behind a facade. The younger man's mask had slipped and now here Tony was, laid bare in front of him wearing his heart on his sleeve

"Tony…"

"No. No, you're right. This… This works for us." Tony was quick to put out there, his defensive walls rapidly rebuilding themselves, almost tangibly with every word he spoke. "I mean, here we are; two guys who normally _don't_ talk about this stuff; actually admitting …." Tony breathed in and out a few times, as if trying to regroup his thoughts. "Okay, so you volleyed that last shot, so I guess the ball's in my court now, right?"

"Tony, listen to me for a minute, alright?" Gibbs requested with a rare display of compassion.

"NO! No, I need to get this out! Okay? So, please, just….let's finish this so we don't ever have to talk about it again, alright?"

Letting out a huge sigh, Tony wiped his hand across his face and sidestepped away from Gibbs to begin pacing. The older man didn't miss the fact that Tony had rounded the boat and was using it as a shield to stop him from actually touching the younger man.

"Okay, where were we? Oh, right, attention at work. Guess that brings us to the big one then, doesn't it? Okay, here goes. I shouldn't have gotten involved with you to begin with. It was an experience that was bound to end badly and oh look…It has!"

"Tony, no! " Gibbs couldn't stop his outburst, his guilt eating him alive that the younger man was even having to go through this pain. "I shouldn't have crossed that line. I am sorry."

"See, that's the funny thing about you breaking your own rule about apologies here, Gibbs. You may have crossed that line – but I didn't exactly push you away, did I?"

"Doesn't excuse my responsibility, Tony. I'm Team Leader, for cryin' out loud. I never should have…"

"Yeah, okay. That one's yours." Tony agreed before letting out a mirthless laugh. "Listen to us, grabbing at responsibility and guilt as if we were playing a damn game of Go Fish or something! We both played a part!"

Gibbs frowned. In the two weeks DiNozzo had been away, Gibbs had not found a way to fix their relationship and keep the team together or even to accomplish the healing that was so necessary between each of them and Tim. He did feel confident that he and Tim had managed to work things out between the two of them; however, there was still a lot of work to be done.

"Yes, we did, we were both wrong. Our relationship was a mistake, what we did in the office that night was a mistake and most of all, what we did to Tim, the way we treated him was wrong. We need to talk about McGee. He's lost his trust and respect for us, and we're responsible for that. It's up to the two of us to rebuild that trust and earn his respect. I want to save our team, DiNozzo, try and put it all back together. I'm not sure that's possible with the way the two of us have treated him, not just recently but throughout his time on the team."

Now that they had both admitted their relationship was a mistake, Gibbs needed both of them to focus on Tim. They needed to talk about what they could possibly do to bring about the healing that was so necessary for the survival of their team. Thinking for a moment, he realized Tony needed to know about the commitments and promises - and the reasons for them - he and Tim had agreed to over the last two weeks. Making sure he had the younger man's full attention, he began outlining the changes necessary for the survival of their team and possibly their family.

*****NCIS*****

Slumped in his favorite chair, Tim sighed as he fought to relax, _now wasn't that an oxymoron? _At some point, he realized how angry he was with the Senior Field Agent, not only for the events of the past few weeks and indeed much of his NCIS career, but now for his clownish actions in the office on Monday and even worse, Tim having been called out to rescue him from his own drunken follies_. Tim was thankful that he and Gibbs had been able to work on things. It was going to take a herculean effort by the three of them - really the whole team - it would take time, wasn't perfect or a "done deal" by any means but he did feel there was a possibility he could continue as a member of this team. _

_However, that meant he would have to come to terms with the SFA, much as he had with Gibbs. And that realization made his stomach recoil. They had to talk, to achieve some sort of…what was that term he'd learned in school about the Cold War? "Détente" or peaceful co-existence, that was it! Of course, they'd need more than that since they would eventually have to work together again as partners. For now, he and Ziva would partner and DiNozzo could…actually, he didn't care what DiNozzo did._

Rolling his eyes again at the memory of Ducky telling him he was essentially in the driver's seat, Tim thought about taking that first step_. _Focusing on the practical, he found he most emphatically did not want to meet with DiNozzo in either of their residences. His brain gave him one name: _Abby. As much as she loved all three men, she had been immediately supportive of Tim in all this, plus he felt comfortable in her home. She would have to be gone while they were there; maybe they could meet on the night she bowled with the nuns. _He chuckled to himself that he would have to run scans to check for recording devices and cameras…this was Abby, after all!

Tim's mind made up, he sent her a quick text asking for the use of her home on bowling night for the necessary conversation. She sent a positive reply although she was a little disappointed not to be asked to "referee". With the thought that he might need some 'Gibbs' support' to push his Senior Field Agent to "The Talk", he gave his Boss a quick call. Though not something he ever would have done in the past, things had changed so drastically Tim didn't give it a second thought now as he sat waiting for the phone to be answered on the other end.

_"Yeah, Gibbs."_

"I'm ready to talk to DiNozzo."

_"Okay. Let me know when and where and I'll make sure he's there."_

"Thanks. Oh, and Gibbs…"

_"Yup. I'll be on standby. He gives you any trouble, you call me."_

Hearing the click in his ear before he could even think of whether or not to thank the man, Tim grinned.

Gibbs promised support as necessary and thus fortified, Tim had taken care of all details but one, the most important one. Focusing his nervous energy, he called DiNozzo.

_"Yeah, DiNozzo."_ The man nearly spat into the phone as he answered, obviously not in the best of moods. Maybe Tim's unwillingness to talk to him yet had been bothering him more than Tim had realized_. Good. Maybe this would more fully garner his cooperation, now that Tim was ready._

"We need to talk. I've arranged for us to use Abby's place tomorrow night at 7." Tim supplied quietly yet firmly, without beating around the bush.

"Do I have a choice?" Tony's question was a slap in the face, irritating Tim all over again.

"Do you want to ever be a team again? If you don't, you'll be the one explaining that to Gibbs."

_"Fine, I'll be there."_ Tony's reluctance only served to spike Tim's irritation, but he refused to let it bother him for longer than a minute.

Tim gave a sigh of relief as he put his phone down. That had gone worse than anticipated, but he was not going to worry about it. Although he supposed the setup was really the easy part. He shook his head in amusement, _now_ he was feeling much more relaxed. Realizing he was feeling better and that he was able to smile at things here and there brought a sense of peace. Heading to his kitchen for some fresh coffee, he yawned – a hard jaw-cracking type of yawn and doing a u-turn, headed instead for the sanctuary of his bedroom. By the time he took the few steps to get there, he was half-asleep and craving his big comfy bed. Kicking off his shoes, he settled in and was dead to the world within seconds.

*****NCIS*****

The following night Tim arrived at Abby's early enough to share a casual dinner with her. He had spent a relaxing day; he had determined to remain calm and positive with his co-worker. Before Abby left for bowling, she gave him a kiss and a very strong Abby-hug, which left a smile on his face. She gave him an extra key to lock up so the two men could leave if they were done before she returned.

Tim waited until he heard her hot rod pull away before running a scan of her place. A little surprised and proud of his always-curious friend, he found no electronic "spy" devices. By that time, it was seven and within a minute or so, he heard knocking on the front door. Pulling the door open, he was suddenly face to face and alone with DiNozzo. Tim stood aside so the older man could enter, and then closed the door behind him.

"So, didja order the pizza yet?" were the first words out of DiNozzo's mouth.

"No, this isn't a social occasion and I've already eaten." Taking a breath, Tim decided to jump right in. "Has Gibbs told you the changes that need to happen and why?"

Tony smirked, "What, no foreplay?"

"Well, that makes it easy, DiNozzo, guess you're really not interested in keeping the team together. Always interesting to see the true measure of a man or rather worm. You can go ahead and leave now. Just make sure you call Gibbs and tell him before you get home, since the decision not to fix things is yours, not mine."

"McGee, no, look, man, I'm sorry, I'm nervous, I don't know what you want from me, I don't know how to fix this." DiNozzo spoke softly but with an urgent tone.

"It's about time you finally admitted there is something you need to fix. Actually a lot of things to fix."

"Yeah, Gibbs told me. This thing, McG, Tim"

Tim interrupted him. "Stick with McGee. First name's for trusted friends and family." Tony's mouth fell open in shock as he sat down on the sofa.

"Wow, yeah, ok, I get it now. I messed up big time, well Gibbs and I did, but then I did too."

"So what are you going to do about it, DiNozzo? From what I saw on Monday, you think it's just business as usual. That's not happening!" Tim's voice rose as he looked at the older man and heard that sarcastic, mocking voice in his head: _'So gay, not much luck with the ladies, there's a pimple on my left buttock that has more writing talent than you, McGeek, McGrinch, McGoogle, McHopeless' _Giving himself a shake, he tried to grab hold of his determination to get his points across calmly, without letting loose the anger pushing against his straining mental gates. "I've put up with your garbage for all these years. I. Am. Done. If you have nothing else to say, fine, because I certainly do." He stared at the Senior Field Agent, waiting for a response. When none came, he lost the battle with his anger and the gates opened wide, letting the anger, betrayal and hurt flow out into the open.

The betrayal by DiNozzo and Gibbs, the constant bullying, the comments about his sexuality, the recent discovery of the hypocrisy of those comments, the deliberate baiting, teasing and manipulation, the lying about volunteering for Iraq, the physical torments – ripping his skin off with the superglue, the cost to Tim of clothing and personal items destroyed by DiNozzo's stupid pranks, the betrayal of trust, the favoritism that DiNozzo not only fostered but rubbed his face in whenever possible, the sophomoric behavior, the gossip, the insistence on nosing into his personal life, the lock-picking and most of all, the total lack of respect. Everything that he had told Gibbs and more.

As Tim finished, he saw that his words and his anger had made an impact. DiNozzo sat slumped on the sofa, his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, ok, I'm so Damned Sorry. I never meant…McGee, you gotta believe me, I never really meant to hurt you."

"I don't believe that, DiNozzo, not with the level of abuse you've heaped on me for years, the deliberate cutting remarks that had no other rhyme or reason, knowing you could get away with all of it because you're the golden haired child."

"No, that's…not it…McGee, my shrink has made me see what it is…none of it was intended to hurt you, not really…it was to protect myself or I thought I was protecting myself. Because yes, I am that selfish, self-centered and insecure. I was …am jealous, ok, that's why. And because I was never taught ..."

Tim interrupted him again "Don't give me any of that BS about you were never taught or you weren't hugged enough. You're a grown man, about time you ACT like one. You have no clue about my own life and trust me, I'm well aware that you've had everyone on the team believing I had some enchanted childhood while the rest of you had the childhood from hell. I'm not the one who made that assumption. I had just as many problems growing up. It's no excuse, DiNozzo. And no matter what your father did or did not do to you, it never should have been one to begin with!"

DiNozzo swallowed hard and gave a sharp nod of acceptance. He took a shuddering breath and looked up, straight into Tim's eyes. "Yeah, BS'ing is my best skill, I guess. Look, it was Gibbs' idea to add you to the team; I didn't even really want Kate on the team and you? Younger and way smarter, not a washed-up former cop who has had to change jobs every 2 years. Good looking, yeah you were chubby but I saw the ladies and sometimes guys checking you out and I freaked out; thought I was done for in the dating pool. I was afraid I'd be pushed out, off the team, away from Gibbs. So I did all those things, have done them over the years to keep you at arm's length from me, from him, to make sure you didn't push me off the team."

Tony took a breath, but then dove right back in. " I couldn't come close to your computer skills or your logic or any of that stuff, wasn't smart enough to learn it myself, but I could make you miserable and not look very good with Gibbs. But it hasn't worked– at least not for very long when it did, and it stopped working at all a long time ago. You're just as much a part of the team as I am and until all this shit happened, I actually thought we were friends. And Gibbs? He cares just as much about you as Abby, Ziva, or me. "

Tim gave him a look and Tony quickly amended his statement. "Ok, maybe not the same as he & I were for awhile, but the same as the girls."

He stopped to take a breath and Tim stepped in. "This conversation isn't about Gibbs and me, that's none of your business. This is about you and me, so quit deflecting. And I've never felt friendship from you – and certainly not for you. Oh, I have tried to be your friend. But who can be friends with someone who constantly belittles their efforts to be there for them? Why would I want someone as a friend who lives to bully, disrespect and belittle me? Maybe…at one time I might have welcomed your version of friendship without question, DiNozzo. Now, you'll have to earn it, as well as the trust you betrayed and the respect you no longer have from me. The question is what are you going to do? _I_ agree with Gibbs about the team, we both want to save it, but I also will no longer put up with any more of _your_ crap and will, without hesitation, leave the team if things don't change. It's up to you. You going to start treating me with the respect I've already earned - or not?"

DiNozzo looked at him again with moist eyes. "Yes, McGee, I will start treating you with respect. I don't know about the pranks, that's just the way I …"

Once again Tim interrupted him "No, you don't get to do that anymore. No more, 'I can't help it, that's just the way I am.' No more excuses. You either stop or I leave. Your choice. I've got plenty of options to earn an income and I'm pretty confident in my relationships with the girls, Ducky, Jimmy and now Gibbs that I know I won't lose them. I know Gibbs discussed these things with you, DiNozzo, did you just shrug them off, thinking you'd agree and then just continue your merry prankster, disrespectful ways? "

DiNozzo shook his head. "No, yeah… I just…I didn't know. I really didn't understand that I was being such a jerk to you. Yeah, this past month, yes, I did and I was wrong, WE were wrong. Not just with what happened here at the office, but also how I treated you afterwards. I was a total a##hole and I'm sorry. And when Gibbs told me the other things, I …I thought you – he – were blowing things all out of proportion to make his point. Now I get it, Prob…"

Tim shook his head in warning, "Stick with McGee and damn it, DiNozzo, enough with the probie! I get why Franks still called Gibbs that all these years later. But you and I don't have that connection."

Tony rocked back against the sofa, stunned. He had never realized that it wasn't just the name that bothered Tim. There had actually been a deeper reason all this time. Before he could open his mouth, Tim was unleashing more on him.

"You know, there's so many things I don't understand. We've worked as a team for all these years, we've accomplished some major miracles together. What about the way we pulled together when Gibbs took his hiatus without warning? I offered you my trust and respect then, without question and somehow we made it work as a team, almost again when Ziva stayed in Israel? Huh? You remember, DiNozzo? The teamwork, the mutual trust, HONESTY and respect?" What happened to that?

DiNozzo's head was down again, he wouldn't look up at Tim but it was obvious he was listening to every angry word. That knowledge spurred Tim on without hesitation.

"And when we went half-way around the world to avenge her 'death'? You remember THAT? Of course you do, you couldn't wait to belittle me for my part in the plan when we got back here. What happened to that team unity and trust, DiNozzo? Huh? There not been enough kicks to be had at my expense since then so you had to go back to all things humiliating as possible for the youngest member of the team; because after all, he's not the boss' favorite anyway so who's gonna care, right?" Tim stopped. He thought about all he'd been through in his own life and how hard he'd worked to deal with things and put them behind him. He'd had help; he'd had someone to kick him in the behind to get himself the help he needed. He wondered if that's what DiNozzo needed, if that's what this could be.

He took a deep breath and sat down next to the SFA on the sofa. Softly he asked, "What are you going to do? Are you willing to change? To grow up? To stop treating me – or anyone else – like your favorite whipping boy? Maybe even to learn to trust, like and respect yourself?"

DiNozzo didn't look up, but Tim saw his shoulder jerk in surprise with his last question. Tim continued, "Every so often, I see a guy that seems like a pretty stand up man. That's the person I worked with during Gibbs' Mexican safari, when Ziva disappeared, when we went to avenge her death, even came to help me when I thought I shot a cop. That's the guy I could be friends with, that's the guy who's a helluva good team leader, senior field agent and investigator. He's the one I could probably learn to trust and respect again, but he has to like, trust and respect himself first."

Tony cleared his throat. "I've been seeing my therapist every day; Ducky thought it would be a good idea. She's sort of said some of what you've been saying. Made me see what I've been doing. You've made me see more. I don't know how to stop being the way I am, how I have been."

Tim chuckled, "I'm certainly not a therapist, Tony. But I've been in therapy and I know it's rough, frustrating, scary and just hard to deal with, facing your deepest darkest self and peeling apart the layers that created that part of yourself. For me, it was very much worth it."

"If I commit to the things Gibbs told me about and I keep going to my therapist, will that be enough, Ti ...McGee? What if I screw up again? What if I open my mouth and mocking comes out? "

"We've got a long ways to go, Tony, don't doom yourself before you start. And as far as I'm concerned, one of the first ways you can help us all is to learn to **think** before you talk! But yeah, committing to the changes with me and the others - and continuing with your therapist are great places to begin. I'm beginning to believe you are serious about this. And before you give yourself permission to say it's too much to ask from you – no one is expecting a miracle overnight. Every single one of us knows these things take time."

"So you'll stay? Then can we hug?" Tony asked, with a flippant tone to his voice.

"If you commit to and actually work to follow through with everything and work at it with all of us, yeah, I'll stay, but you have to stick with this. It's not just for 2 weeks, next month then you revert back. That's not going to work. And, no, I'm not going to hug you, Tony. Why would you even ask me that? The only time you've come close to hugging me before is right after I saved you from dying in that parking garage. Neither of us are huggers, and if we were, we would not yet be at that place. I will, however, offer a handshake to cement this understanding between co-workers."

Tim reached out and shook Tony's hand.

"Gonna go now, DiNozzo. Abby will be home soon, don't want to go through everything with her…do you?"

"Uh, no. Ok, then good night, McGee, I'll see you…at work on Monday?"

Tim gave him a nod and locked up while keeping an eye on his once and maybe future partner walking to his car. He felt both emotionally and physically drained but also had that same funny feeling of exhilaration he'd experienced after talking with Gibbs. Once again, he craved the comfort of his bed, but would first make a few calls and give some fairly hopeful news so the others might sleep a little better too. Then and only then, he would let himself sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: _We humbly apologise for the extraordinar_ily long wait for this update.**  
**

_Please keep your feet and hands inside the cockpit and remain buckled in for the ride. We're about to hit a pocket of turbulance._

_Shall we find out who can stay on their feet?_

* * *

Much of the weekend had been spent thinking of the conversation he'd had with Tony on Friday night; which, by Sunday night, had Tim convinced that he needed to set some things straight that had in all likelihood, gotten mixed up in their translation. It also got him thinking that he had to do one thing first thing in the morning. By six-on-the-dot Monday morning, Tim was parked next to Tony's car in the older man's apartment complex parking lot, a hot coffee fixed the way Tony liked it and a warm breakfast Danish in tow. Now all he had to do was hope Tony would hear him out.

*****NCIS*****

Tony's weekend was a whirl of one physical game with his college buddies after another, mixed in with a mini-movie marathon enjoyed with a fresh hot pizza and a six pack of beer as he forced himself to move past the emotional baggage the last 2 weeks had left him with; the last three months really. By the time Sunday night rolled around, he was actually able to sleep through the night.

Monday morning found him finally able to do this; continue to be Senior Field Agent under the very man who'd ripped his heart out and handed it back to him with little more than an apology and an open expression of guilt and remorse. Straightening his shoulders, Tony let out a sigh.

He _could_ do this. He'd known the risks going in and he'd taken the gamble anyway. Now he'd have to live with the experience he'd gained from it and part of his brain reminded him that some of that experience had been anything _but_ bad. Still, he could live with the way things had turned out and he would be okay with it.

What he _wasn'_t okay with was the new Tim McGee and his rules and expectations. Thinking back on their conversation from Friday night was boiling Tony's temper all over again at the very thought of having to change who he was just to make the team probie happy enough that he'd stay on the team and not screw with what had worked before. Not only was Tony not sure this new order could work, but he was also not happy about it.

Giving himself a slight head shake, he reclaimed the fact that he was mentally prepared to meet the day as he locked his apartment and headed toward his car; even going so far as, to whistle a show tune, only to freeze in his steps, silence taking over as his eyes narrowed to meet the sight before him.

Of all the things Tony could have expected to come across at six-thirty on Monday morning, the sight of Tim McGee sitting on his Porsche's hood, holding a take-out tray with a hot coffee and what looked like a bagged breakfast, was not one of them. "What are you doin' here, McGee?" Tony groused. He didn't care about manners right now. It was just too damned early in the morning for this.

"I came to ask you for a few minutes of your time before you left for work." Tim answered quietly as he held out his peace offering.

"Why? Forget a few rules you expect me to follow now? Tony sniped as he took the proffered breakfast, and walked over to where he could rest the tray on the roof of Tim's car as he withdrew the Danish and pulled back the tab on the coffee and lifted it to his mouth to take a much needed sip.

"No, Tony. Look Can you just give me two minutes, please?" Tim asked.

Setting the coffee back down, Tony finally looked over at the younger man. "What the hell? Why not? You've got two minutes. Clock's tickin'."

"I think you may have misunderstood what I'm asking from you for things to get better at work." The younger man tried to explain.

"Pretty sure I got it. You want me to change who I am around you – so you'll be happy. If not, you're leaving. Not much to misunderstand there."

"Yeah, actually, there was, Tony. And if that's what you're thinking I meant, apparently, you did mis-understand me.

"I'm listening."

"I'm not asking you to change who you are; what makes you – you. I'm just asking to change _one_ of your defense mechanisms – the one that hands out disrespect on a regular basis to keep people from getting too close."

Tony continued to silently eat his Danish and drink his coffee as Tim spoke, almost as if he were ignoring what the other man had to say, but Tim knew better.

Undaunted, Tim continued on, needing to finish what he had to say. "There are plenty of other ways to keep people at a distance. I'm just asking you to find one that doesn't involve treating people badly."

The silence grew thick between them as Tim retreated behind his own wall of it to wait out Tony's next move. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tony drained his coffee, bagged the cup and the paper from his Danish and tossed the bag at Tim as he spoke. "I hear ya and you're right. Like I told you Friday night. I'll work on it."

Tim relaxed enough to let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "Thanks. And thanks for letting me have these few minutes to clear this up." Turning to leave, he stopped and turned back. "Oh, and Tony?"

"Your two minutes are up, McGee." Tony quipped as he paused in the unlocking of his car door. "I refuse to be late on your account."

"I just wanted to say that I do realize I'm not perfect. I know there've been times I've said something that I shouldn't have; crossed that line."

"Yeah, it's called snapping back when I push you too far, McGee. Nothing wrong with it." Tony dismissed almost offhandedly.

"Thanks, Tony. But even I can admit there've been a few that were completely uncalled for and I am sorry."

"I know, McGee. Already knew that the minute you let the words come outta your mouth. You're too much of a standup guy not to have been."

Tim smiled softly at the free pass Tony was giving him, especially after the difficult times they were still trying to get through. He'd needed to clean this slate and he appreciated Tony's attitude of forgiveness in the midst of the tensions from everything they'd been hashing out lately. "The point is…"

""Your point is that you're sorry and you'll work on not letting it happen again, just as I'm gonna work on not being so annoying or disrespectful or nosey. Relax, McGee. I got it."

"Okay." Tim let it go at that since it was obvious Tony wanted him to.

"Glad we got that straight." Tony quipped as he opened his car door; his tone one that could have just as easily been sarcastic as it could have been serious. "Hate to eat and run, but some of us have to get to work."

"Thanks for the time, Tony." Tim got in his own car and quickly put it in gear and drove away, leaving a pensive Tony behind.

*****NCIS*****

Tony managed to make it to the floor with his work area on it with just a few minutes to spare, his mood however, lifting him enough that he wasn't worried about the boss' reaction, especially given the painful way things had been left between them. Looking around the squad room, he was surprised to find that it appeared to be that he was the only one that had arrived. As he approached his desk, his desk phone rang. Picking it up, he frowned as he recognized the voice of Vance's Assistant. _"Agent DiNozzo, Director Vance would like to see you right away."_

"I'm on my way." Tony replied, too unhappy with this start of the day, to waste any words of humor on her.

As he headed up the stairs, he realized he was the only one of the team here. Feeling slightly unsettled at this realization, Tony wordlessly passed by the Assistant's desk and tapped on the Director's door. At his muffled summons, the Senior Field Agent entered, closing the door behind him.

"Agent DiNozzo." Vance spoke with barely discernable politeness. "Seems your team has decided to throw all kinds of last minute demands on my desk – as if expecting them to be met without a problem."

Tony remained silent. He knew Vance wasn't expecting that, but since the only request Tony had given the man was weeks ago – he wasn't about to stick his neck into something he knew nothing about.

"Which brings me to our current problem." Vance continued on.

Again, Tony stayed quiet. As if thrown by the younger man's unusual silence, Leon Vance regarded him with nothing else being said for a moment. Finally, after a silence that seemed to outstay its' welcome rather quickly, he spoke again. "Gibbs is out of the office this week. That leaves you and Agent Da'vid. Unless you get a call-out, consider yourselves on cold case assignment for the week. I expect to see some results."

"Yes, Sir." Tony replied while he remained standing in place. He knew he hadn't been dismissed and he wasn't looking to become a thorn in the man's side when things for the team were obviously already dicey.

"Dismissed." Vance let him go, secretly impressed with his toned-down demeanor.

Tony nodded as he turned and headed out, quietly closing the door behind him as he left. With a sigh of resignation, he headed back down the stairs to his desk. It was going to be a very long week.

*****NCIS*****

It truly was a long week, filled only with the drudgery of cold case reviews, inputting more of them into the archived files on the system and trying to manage not to pull his hair out through the unusual and nerve –wracking silence that came from there only being two of them at work. While Ziva remained her usual calm self, Tony could see her eyes travel to the probie's desk more than they would have if he'd been here.

Truth be told, he missed the kid, too. And if he were honest with himself, he'd have to admit, it was nice being able to look at things without the blinders of anger coloring them. It was even better, knowing Tim was willing to work on mending what had been broken between them, despite not having been the one to have done the damage. Tony sighed. He really had been a bastard about all this. Maybe he had learned too much from Gibbs.

_Gibbs_. Trying to move on without the man in his personal life was only slightly difficult, with so many ways to escape how it made it feel to do it, he barely had time to run through his choices after work at night before he was plopping down with a pizza and a beer in front of a movie he didn't note, or coming back into work after the place had thinned out for the night shift. Not surprising, was the discovery that, just as he used to do, working almost 24/7 seemed to be the best cure-all, even if it meant being in the same space as the other man's desk.

By the time the weekend rolled around, Tony was so wired for closure, for something that would soothe the pain he refused to recognize, it wasn't hard to understand why he found himself back to his old haunts and habits. The ladies man was back and this time, he was taking no prisoners.

******NCIS******

By the time Monday rolled around and it was time for Tim to get back to work, he was finally beginning to feel better about things, though he found himself worried about Tony a little, thanks to reports from both Ziva and Abby that the older man had taken to acting like he used to when he thought no one could tell he was actually acting out to hide what he was feeling , as much because he didn't want to admit it as to keep the world out of his private pain. With trepidation he hadn't expected to be feeling, Tim settled in behind his desk and got busy going through two weeks of emails and phone messages.

Watching as the others straggled in and settled down to work, he couldn't help but feel the tension in the room tighten to a near stranglehold as neither Tony nor Gibbs looked or spoke to one another or him, for that matter. Progress had taken on a strange definition and it didn't feel right. With a sigh, Tim kept to himself and stayed on task, grateful that no call out came in.

By the end of the week, with no call-out, Tim realized it had been that way by design. Vance must have pulled them from the active case roster. With a frown, he realized this did not bode well for the MCRT. Almost as if reading his mind on this, the boss' desk phone rang

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"_Agent Gibbs, Director Vance would like to see your team in his office."_

Without speaking, the boss gestured for them to all follow him Tim was glad they were taking the stairs at a normal clip, since he was in no hurry to see what was coming down the pike at them next, . With the strained atmosphere in the squad room for the majority of the week, there was no telling what he was walking into with Vance.

"You can go right in. The Director's expecting you." Pam smiled encouragingly at them as they reached her office.

"Thank you." Tim answered as the Team Leader opened the door, and they all filed in behind him, with Tim closing it behind them.

Swallowing hard, Tim held his back straight and walked to the man's desk behind Gibbs, stopping where he could see the Director from over the boss' shoulder, much as they had several years ago when he'd split this team up. Suddenly, Tim's heart dropped. _Is that what was going on here?_

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you up here and I know you're working hard at inputting ole cases into the system archives as well as working on cold cases, so I'll get right to the point. Something happened on this team not very long ago that wasn't good. Now, no one will tell me what that something was or why you, Agent McGee, felt the need to cover part of it or all of it up by erasing that security footage or why both yourself and Agent DiNozzo felt the need to take personal time off for so long as a week or two, or even why the whole agency was waging when one of you would put in for a transfer, but the bottom line is that the time limit I gave your team to fix things has run out. I've waited and I've watched. And I don't like what I've seen. It's not fixed. So I'm fixing it."

"Sir?" Tim asked in befuddlement.

"Agent McGee, one of their Senior Field Agents in the Los Angeles Office. has been placed on emergency bed rest due a difficult pregnancy. Their Senior Field Agent has been forced to step in as Team Leader, which leaves them in need of a SFA. Due to funding cutbacks, we don't have the resources to hire any replacements, so we're having to shuffle to fill in the gaps where they're several men short. which is more than this agency can afford at any one location. I'm reassign you to fill in that gap, starting Monday. Your flight has been booked. Your tickets along with any pertinent information regarding your new team is in this folder. Read it thoroughly. Go in prepared and expect this post to last a year. When the time is up, we'll find a place for you somewhere permanently. Where that will be, will depend entirely up to you and what you do with this opportunity."

"Agent Da'vid, you've been reassigned as well, strictly a career stepping stone. Effective Monday morning, you'll report to the USS Ronald Reagan. Expect to be gone for six months. We'll evaluate the best place for you when you get back. And leave your backup weapons at home."

"Agent DiNozzo, you're needed here as you are, in the position of Gibbs' Senior Field Agent, helping rebuild this MCRT. Agent Gibbs, you have two spots to fill on your team. Your options are the agents whose files I'm handing you now. I suggest you choose wisely and don't let whatever happened to this team, happen again. You're dismissed."


	31. Epilogue

_Twelve months later._

Tony looked around the empty squad room, his backpack slung over his shoulder. This was it, his first moments back in the place that had been his home away from home, longer than any other place he'd ever been as an adult. A shudder rippled through him as he glanced at each desk in turn, envisioning _not_ the current newbies he knew sat there during the working day, but the people who'd earned the right to sit behind those desks and be called the MCRT of all MCRT's._His team._

Tim McGee. The green probie who had evolved into an awesome field agent and friend, whom he had not only treated like crap but betrayed and then was forgiven by and even kept in touch with, once the team had been splintered permanently by Vance. The kid hadn't been happy about the split, but he'd been relieved that it hadn't been anything he'd done or said in the aftermath of that whole horrible mess. When Tim had admitted as much to Tony, the older man had understood where the man was coming from. Not being responsible was important in the grand scheme of things, especially in the minds of those you cared about that were left behind. Amazingly enough, the split had strengthened their relationship – now they were stronger friends than either could ever have envisioned.

In fact, it was Tim who'd convinced him he was doing the right thing eleven months ago.

_"You have to do what's right for you, Tony. Not what's right for Gibbs. Just remember, change only hurts until it's no longer uncomfortable. We're stronger for it in the end. You don't believe me, just stop and look back at the me you first met years ago and the me that left last month. Or now. I never would have expected to be doing so well out here or even to be happy doing it. But I am – even been told I'm on my way now. Do this for yourself, Tony. Just promise me you'll stay in touch with all of us."_

Tony had to smile now as he realized that both Abby and Ziva had echoed Tim's sentiments, in his last days with them. Both of them demanded that he stay in touch and make whatever changes he needed to make for himself. Poor Abby had been beside herself with separation anxiety in full force.

_"Tony! You have to stay in touch! With me – with Gibbs! With Ducky! And don't you dare let things between you and Timmy get bad again! Or Ziva either! God, what am I gonna do without you? I've already lost Timmy and Ziva! Don't you dare stop calling me or writing me, DiNozzo!"_

Funny how fast time flew when you were busy learning new things, getting used to new people and trying hard to remember the difficult lessons learned and the people badly hurt by behaviors long considered normal that needed to be changed. Learning to behave differently had been the biggest challenge and it had taken a considerable effort on Tony's part to not revert to his old persona. Strangely enough, all he had to do was remember Tim's name and the expression on his face that he'd never forgotten, the one drenched in betrayal that most dramatic night, and any thought of behaving in his old way slipped away.

Physically leaving the D.C. MCRT had been tough, almost as tough as the decision to move on had been. Having the full support of not only his former teammates but also Ducky and Palmer, had gone a long way in helping him stick to his guns. The attempt to work side by side with Gibbs, as they had for so many years - in complete cohesiveness- had only lasted three weeks. It had been three weeks of hell, with Tony's soul dying a little more every day through the silence and the unreadable expressions and the glares when things didn't go as well as they'd hoped. In desperation, he'd called the LA Office, using the guise of checking on the probie.

Tim's immediate ability to ferret out the problem had astounded Tony and endeared the man to him that much more. Before he knew it, they'd spent the night talking, helping each other through whatever was on their minds and supporting whatever decisions that needed to be made. When the younger man encouraged Tony to accept whatever overseas job Vance offered, the older man had finally felt like he was doing the right thing.

Now here he was nearly a year later and while he'd stayed in touch with all of them with the obvious exception of Gibbs, his relationship with Abby had lost some of its strength. He never could reconcile the fact that she had had the nerve to call him out on his treatment of Tim when she'd been just as bad over the years. That monumental confrontation they'd had in the midst of the crisis, the one that had started the dominos falling, had brought that to the forefront for Tony. In the year since, Abby had neither apologized to Tony nor admitted her own habitually bad and frequently hurtful behavior towards Tim.

The emails from Ducky had certainly helped. Now that there'd been time and distance between him and The Situation, he found himself missing Tim - and maybe Gibbs, though he could never bring himself to make the first move in reaching out. Even now, after nearly a year, he had to admit he wasn't sorry he'd allowed that time and distance to grow between them. It would make it a hell of a lot easier to see the man again. From all reports, the Team Leader had operated as though he were still kind of shell shocked over all the events he pretty much caused.

He smiles as he recalls that Vance brought in two other agents when Tim and Ziva left, another junior and another probie. Waiting for Ziva's return, had been more than Tony could deal with, leaving Vance no choice but to also bring in someone to be Gibbs' Senior Field Agent. Apparently Gibbs had finally managed to come out of the daze enough to put his foot down about who would be replacing Tony as his SFA, insisting on Ziva, much as he'd insisted Tony be brought home way back in Tony's Afloating days.

It had done his heart good to hear that Vance had done as Gibbs asked, allowed Ziva to return to Team Gibbs and approved her promotion to Senior Field Agent. Knowing that Ned Dorneget had been assigned to the team and was the new probie, Tony had to smirk. That guy had more of a backbone than most probies and he'd do fine.

As he heads out, needing to get to his former Team Leader's house where the others are meeting, Tony realizes that this holiday dinner he's agreed to attend, is truly a mending tool he's been more than happy to have offered to him. He reminds himself now that his life with Gibbs belonged to that part of his life that he's put behind him and he doesn't want to go back to being Gibbs' love interest; actually, he isn't even remotely interested in being anywhere near the man's personal life. But he does really want and need to continue workings things out with Tim.

As he turns the car off, he turns to his laptop, sitting on the seat of his car and sets it in his lap. Somehow over the past year, he's learned how much he can get done by using one of those. Bringing up his email, he smiles as he keeps a promise.

_Hey, Probie:_

_Really not gonna be the real team holiday get together without you here, but at least, I know you're here in spirit. Give 'em hell at that meeting. That's how you'll move farther up in the ranks now that you've finally been accepted by those guys on your team as the real deal and not just tolerated as unwanted and "temporary." Meanwhile, I'll make sure the women folk here know you're sending them hugs in your thoughts and wishing you were here. _

_Take care, Tim._

-Tony.

Stepping inside, Tony looked around, startled to find nearly all of the former MCRT gathered in front of what looked like a newly remodeled hearth. From the smiles and the laughter, no hard feelings seemed present. Smiling to himself, the young man was soon treated to an Abby style greeting.

"TONY!" The Lab Rat squealed as she ran across the house and launched herself at him, her welcome in full stereo -as the sound bounced off the walls and came back at him from all sides. "Welcome back!"

"Hey, Abbs." He answered, his reply muffled through her body as it nearly crushed him.

"Let him breathe, Abbs." Gibbs was heard saying in the background as the Lab Rat reluctantly let go of her surrogate big brother and nearly cackled. "I'm _so_ glad you're here!"

"Thanks." He smiled as his eyes traveled the room, stopping on the always incredible looking Ziva. "Hey, Da'vid. You're lookin' pretty good."

"Thank you, Tony. You do not look bad yourself. Europe agrees with you."

"That it does, my boy. That it does." Ducky interjected as he clasped Tony on the arm with one hand and shook his hand in welcome with the other. "Welcome, young man, Welcome!"

Thanks, Ducky. You're looking really good. Who's the lucky lady this time?"

"No one in particular, I'm afraid."

"You'll find someone, Ducky." Tony reassured the elder man. "I take it Palmer and Breena are happily celebrating their first Christmas as a happily married couple?"

"Quite right. They're at the lovely Breena's parents' home for the holiday.

"Good. I mean, it's good that they're spending time with her folks."

"Tony!" Abby called to him as she walked through the room carrying several drinks. Have you spoken to Timmy lately?"

"Just emailed him before I came in, Abby. He sends his regards and his apologies for not being able to be here." Tony answered seriously.

"Ooh." She murmured. "I was really hoping he would get to come. We've worked so hard, all of us, to stay in touch with him and make sure he didn't slip away from us after he left. Even Gibbs kept in touch!"

"Really?" Tony asked with shock. "The technophobe conquering the technical arena, finally?"

With the tiniest of smirks, the former Marine answered his former Senior Field Agent. "Gotta roll with the changes, DiNozzo."

"Musta taken a hard hit to the head to bring that about, huh?" Tony snarked as he finally looked his former lover straight on – for the first time since they'd ended things badly right here in this very house.

His eyes deliberately guarded, Gibbs kept his tone even and calm as he answered the younger man's unspoken question. "If I'd been a better Team Leader, none of it would have happened. Can't apologize enough for any of it. Doesn't mean we leave a man behind."

Tony nodded both in silent surprise for the older man's attitude and because he agreed with it. "Well, I think it's great that we've all stayed in touch with the Probester."

"That makes two of us, Tony." Came Tim's voice from the doorway.

******NCIS******

So, let me get this straight, Probie. Sarah's graduating in January?"

"Yup. Three weeks from now, actually."

"And you've got three weeks off?" Abby asked in disbelief.

"Of course not."

"So you are coming back in three weeks, yes?" Ziva asked as if exacting a promise.

"Right."

"You strike it rich, Probiwankenobie?" Tony joked as he slung an arm around his shoulder.

"No. I told you last week when I answered your email, Tony. I started writing again and my agent got me a great contract." Tim replied as he stood still and let his surrogate big brother rag on him for a minute.

Tony laughed; the humorous laugh of someone who had the inside joke before the others in the room. "Lemme guess, another L J Tibbs adventure. And I don't remember seeing that email."

Tim shook his head seriously. "No. But, if you guys wanted me too – and want to send me ideas – I can see myself picking that series back up again." He winked at them.

"That is actually not a bad idea, McGee." Ziva offered from where she stood next to him on the back porch. Since the weather was unseasonably warm for Christmas, they'd brought their before-dinner conversation outside where they could enjoy the fresh air.

"Thanks, Ziva. There's no hurry. If you will at least think about it and let me know what you decide, that'd be fine." Tim offered as he turned his attention to the group at large. "How's NCIS on the Navy Yard?"

"Let's eat." Gibbs declared from the doorway to the house as he came back from the kitchen.

Watching his reunited flock make their way animatedly to his dining room, the Team Leader couldn't help but feel thankful - moreso this year than usual. They'd gone through some real tough things together, not to mention a brutally difficult team split and yet, because of the incredible people that they were on the inside, they'd found their own way back to the close knit group they'd become. He'd never been more grateful for their inner characters as he was at this moment because - though they may not all be his anymore – for the team – they would _always _be his family.

And _family_ was _everything!_


End file.
